Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

Great post. As usual people are frustrated because they don’t like to admit there’s a problem. Of course these places should be accessible to you.

No. It’s a bad business when two pubs in one town are inaccessible. I do wonder where this is.

metal ramps are actually fairly cheap.
Also, are people or buildings of more value? I’ve encountered some excellent accessibility adaptations in old buildings : recently went round speaker’s house at the Palace of Westminster and visited a tiny cafe in an old building where they brought out a metal ramp so I could get in. It’s more about recognising the need and making the effort.

And if 50% of the population had that disability then they would be accessible.

How were they unaccessible?
Did the business owners own the buildings?

Yes it's shit that you cannot go everywhere, and we need to support that but your analogy is awful.

It’s a ridiculous analogy and just makes the OP look like a goadie poster.

1. Most posters don’t read beyond the OP. So any explanation or discussion would be lost.
2. There was far more risk of this turning into an anti trans discussion and the whole point about disability being lost. In fact I suspect that’s what the OP wanted. She wanted to compare women being discriminated against in terms of the trans community hence why making reference to not being accessible to women,.

It’s absolutely ridiculous that the disabled are excluded from so many different locations in so many different ways. But this wasn’t the way to illustrate it, in fact it’s taken away a lot of the thinking around the intended subject.

What the fuck are you talking about , you need a penis to get into a restaurant ?
Is this some sort of a fucked up joke ? Are you OK or have you been drinking ?
I am just trying to establish whether you may need urgent help.

You haven’t overestimated people’s understanding, you’ve overestimated your attempt at posting an analogy.

It’s shite you weren’t able to access these places. It’s unacceptable that you couldn’t. But you have posted about it in an odd way so now your thread is totally swerving the very valid point you wanted to make

If you’d said what you meant I’d definitely have said YANBU.

The penis analogy was just confusing though.

Why didn't you simply say you went out to find a cafe/pub but none had a toilet that was accessible?

Writing in riddles isn't helpful.

FWIW I live in a small town and there are two pubs. One has not toilet at all that is accessible. There is one loo for the women and one for the men.

I don't know how they 'get away' with that but it's how it is and I assume it's because the building is old (not listed) and there is simply no space to extend the toilets.

No idea why if it is not about men the op needed to bring men into it, but not all buildings are physically accessible to everyone so unless men and women physically cant access a building because of their sex then I still have no idea how using men in the op instead of disabled in the first place makes any sense

My point was imagine a world where women cannot routinely turn up and buy lunch where ever. This is in fact normality for many disabled people.

It's not about buying lunch - it was about having a toilet for your needs.
At least that's what I think she means. She can buy and eat lunch but if she needs the toilet, there isn't one suitable.

Why didn't you say that rather than making it about sex?

Ok, now that I have read the other posts I understand.
You are insane if you were expecting us to infer you were talking about disabled people with such a grotesque metaphor.
Only serving people with penis ...for fuck's sake... 🙄

I completely understood what you were saying, the last line made it very clear. I don’t really understand why other people didn’t get it.

I also understand your choice of analogy given that most people that use this website are women and therefore would understand the frustration of not being able to do something due to not having a penis (also the use of penis so much added a touch of humour - although that might just be my level of humour showing 🤣)

Anyway, as an able bodied women it perfectly illustrated to me how much work and planning it must take in being a disabled person day to day. It just be really tough and very frustrating for you

Yes I completely understand what you are saying and can't believe how many people seem to be confused!! It's very obvious. And I'm sorry that happened to you.

It doesn't make sense.

She could buy lunch. She could eat lunch. She could sit there and eat all day.

The issue is that she couldn't access a toilet.

Not sure I agree with the comparison to men given that that is half the population. Surely more similar to something like eating out with kids? And yes, I would research first to make sure it was child friendly (or use places I have been to previously and have experience of).

Where did OP say that the only issue was accessing a toilet?

It's very frustrating but many places are old buildings with narrow doorways and turning points. They would have to do some serious rebuilding work to make it fully accessible. Did they offer to seat you outside? Or at least apologise?

I agree with this.

You made out this was a man vs woman thing when it's nothing of the sort. You were not denied because of anything to do with a penis. Penis owning men whose legs don't work would have been in exactly the same position as you and your friend.

Also what about cafes and restaurants only upstairs where there no access for a lift etc.

Tell me you know nothing about disabilities without telling me.

OP you'll be pleased to know in the very old ''colonial'' days of Harare, Zimbabwe there was a pub that had a clear sign above the door - ''NO WOMEN'' - I was shocked by it as a child and crept passed quickly!

Exactly.

You made a nice point, don't listen to the people who don't understand it.

I've never been anywhere that says you need a penis to get in or to use the toilet!