Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

Toilets are toilets. Go anywhere you fancy doesn't matter what it says on the door.

Your post doesn't make sense.

I'm sure you know this better than I do, but if at any of these premises you can identify "reasonable adaptations" that haven't been made and would have allowed you practical access, you can report the businesses to Trading Standards. It is a legal requirement, after all.

I'm sorry you had such a rotten time.

What were the particular issues, can I ask? Are we talking stairs or badly placed furniture or what?

I can imagine many loos are a nightmare - they can be awkward enough no matter how many working legs you've got.

That's legal???

OP can absolutely exercise her right not to call ahead in protest against the realities of an imperfect world, but I think that would be cutting off her nose to spite her face.

It's really not a case of "shouldn't".

Your question is disingenuous.

Which 'other people'? Most people don't have access to everywhere. Increasing accessibility = great, but the negative attitude is unnecessary. Many people can't afford to eat out - I can't remember the last time I did. I have PTSD and can't use a lot of public transport. Campaigning for positive change is good, but attitudes like 'everyone can do everything except me' are just inaccurate and unhelpful.

Yeh it was so clear, as clear as some of your post
Thexladt line made it clear
😳😳

Exactly. Every old quirky pub, every cottagey tea room, every unusual restaurant in a tower or a basement, the cafe at the top of Snowdon... They'd all have to close. Fair enough - insist that all new venues should be accessible and that others should try to be. But don't spoil things for everyone.

Tell me you've got no experience of disabilities, without telling me...!

When people have posted in a straight forward manner about lack of accessibility there have been suggestions of calling ahead, maybe checking with disability organisations.
Well meant but why should we have to?
Imagine the outrage if women had to ask in advance if they could get into a pub or cafe?

Because it's a simple, easy solution which would save a lot of grief but then what could you complain about!!

I've called ahead to plenty of places to see if they were suitable with small children, a pram etc and never felt the need to get butthurt over it.

Yes not the same as a disability but accessibility is accessibility unless it only applies to the disabled

But non disabled people dont have access to everywhere all of the time. Theres lots of places I cant go because I wouldnt be able to eat there. Those places are not accessible to me due to a physical need but not a disability (although I do have a disability elsewhere). Not everywhere has to be accessible or usable by every single member of the public.

https://www.euansguide.com

I have used this website before when I have needed to check out the accessibility of places.

It’s also worth remembering that accessible means different things to different people depending on their circumstances and what helps one person could be a barrier to another. Its a balancing act!

What's that got to do with what I wrote? I had a friend who was in a wheelchair and I often used to go out to lunch with her. I know what limitations she had. My point still stands. We didn't go to quirky old pubs or other inaccessible places. But I like to go to places that, unfortunately, she couldn't. She, on the other hand, went to many places that I couldn't afford. Should that be made illegal too?

I'm a wheelchair user but I am also a realist.
We have a lot of old building stock in this country and it needs to be made best use of.

If a building can be adapted sensibly to make it accessible then it should be. But we can't just close down every non-accessible old building

I am far more annoyed by places that think they are accessible but clearly never consulted with an actual wheelchair user - eg they have heavy manual opening doors to their wheelchair lifts /disabled toilets

It wasn't clear at all.

I thought that this thread was yet another one about trans issues.

No, because wealth isn't a protected characteristic?

I think the key here is what is a reasonable adjustment.

That will vary from building to building. A 100 year old building with lots of nooks and crannies is unlikely to ever be able to made fully accessible. A new build should be designed to best fit the needs of as many people as possible.

Brilliant, creative post. X

The obsession with penises on this site is bewildering.

True. I chose the wrong equivalence. But my point is that disability isn't the only limiting characteristic. Other people are excluded from other places for all sorts of reasons. It's impossible to make everywhere accessible to all.

She didn't but why else would the sex of the people be used in her analogy?

Was it not suitable for a wheelchair? Stairs? Steps?

If so she should have said that rather than talking in riddles.

There are several pubs in my town that don't have accessible toilets, and at least two where the men's is on the ground floor and the women's up steep stairs.

I asked a friend whose husband is a manager for the local brewery's buildings, and he told her that they're exempt from having to make any sort of provision because they're listed buildings. There's some sort of get-out whereby such provision isn't possible without altering the building that would breach the listed building rules.

Well meant but why should we have to?
Imagine the outrage if women had to ask in advance if they could get into a pub or cafe?

But everyone knows what women are not banned from establishments other than private clubs which can be men (or women) only. So it's not a relevant comparison.

I'm sorry but I think you're misguided here @Mrsmunchofmunchington
If you have a disability then you will already know that some places are not accessible. That's a fact. It's not right but it's how it is.

So you should phone beforehand to make sure it's suitable.

There are people with all kinds of health conditions where they need suitable premises. But it's no good ranting if they are not provided everywhere.

It's your responsibility to make those checks first, even if it doesn't feel right or fair.

Someone in my family has IBS and they are often in need of a loo at very short notice. I've phoned supermarkets and garden centres etc in advance to ask if they have customer toilets.