Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

I got it eventually OP - you make a good point.

Are you drunk?

I can’t believe so many people didn’t get OP’s point! I’m sorry you experience this@Mrsmunchofmunchington this is not right at all and disappointing how inaccessible many places still are 😟

Are you able to share any examples please? It would be really helpful to know what kinds of things that might be possible.

I have a DM with cerebral palsy and disabled DC.

Some people like to play games, and some like to be mysterious . The long gone OP tried both, and all it did, was to spread confusion . OP should have just said what the problem actually was.

You are off your head

Not something we were involved in but this is the type of thing that can be done when there is the will

Maybe the op hasn't always been disabled.

I was diagnosed coeliac at age 50, and it's suddenly a bloody nightmare if I want to go out to eat.

How lovely it is be told that the very real issues that disabled people experience every day aren’t issues at all….

Wtaf? Why can’t you just post as you mean instead of talking in bloody riddles 🙄🙄 Maybe then, instead of 17 pages of misunderstanding/confusion/exasperation, you might actually have received more solidarity and help 🤷‍♀️

It would have been simpler to just not try and be clever and write what you actually meant! I think we'd have all understood that much better!
Sadly smaller establishments don't cater for the disabled.

Who has told you this, can you point it out?

When I read the initial message, I thought OP meant that she couldn't find any female toilets AND she lived with a disability. 😂

But once the analogy was explained, I found it useful. Sorry you had to try three places, OP. That sounds very hard and frustrating.

In my town, actually, MANY of the restaurants have toilets in the basements, down lots of winding stairs. It's often occurred to me that no one would hear you scream down there. And most don't have a ground-floor accessible loo for people living with disabilities. Your post has really made me think about that.

At a pub lunch today, the loos were so unbelievably tiny that I could hardly fit myself in, never mind a wheelchair. I just looked on their site and they don't have an accessible loo.

Wow. I had never really thought about this before, but now I realise that my town is complete rubbish for accessible loos. 😢

Sorry, but what a ridiculous, incomprehensible post!

Have to have a penis to get into a restaurant or its toilet - never heard such poppycock!

@EatingSleeping. But other places established older and listed buildings may only have certain tables that are accessible, I can think of two local restaurants that have multiple levels, the building is 19th century. At that restaurant you need to book an accessible table, if you just turn up those may be full

I agree. I later realised the op was using that as an analogy but it certainly wasn't obvious, or comparable.

Disabled people check beforehand if a particular place has suitable facilities, that is normal. Large venues almost always have them, smaller ones may not so it makes sense to know. I wish everywhere catered for the disabled, as long as non-disabled could use those facilities if needed, but we don't live in an ideal world and have a way to go in that regard.

There are very few single sex venues.

The issue is that there are an dozens, maybe hundreds of possible disabilities, and it's not actually possible to arrange the world so people never have to experience the effects of those disabilities.

I have an intermittent issue that when it flares up, means I need to stay fairly close to a toilet, and I really much prefer a private one. There really isn't much anyone can do about that, they could make all toilets individual rooms, but I still don't really find that works because I don't like being out and taking up a public toilet for a long time and frankly it not being my own makes things worse.

The only reasonable approach is to stay home at those times. Some other disabilities are more easily accommodated, but lots just aren't. Sometimes it's frustrating - I don't travel a lot anymore as a result, but I really am not going to blame the world for not being able to change the nature of reality.

I'd just buy a dildo from Ann summers. It will get you into all the best places and be handy for poking lost cheese sandwiches out from behind the fridge.

I think the point was to get people’s attention by trying to put the majority of people on here ie: women, in her shoes. It got people’s attention and if you take time to think about it made a powerful point. Wonder how many people would have replied if the op had just “said what actually happened”. Are we really going to berate the op for trying to raise awareness of a what must’ve been a really disappointing situation.

😂😂😂

No, disabled and using an analogy to make a fair point it is all clear on the first flipping page

For goodness sake! What is having a penis got to do with not having a disabled toilet?
very confusing post 🧐

I understand that, and it's probably a pragmatic way of managing. But it sounds as if what OP experienced was a complete lack of entry? Which does feel different

True. I thought this was going to be about being vegan!

I'm vegan, my kids are autistic with limited palates, and my DD is disabled physically as well, so I would always check places out in advance and not assume they will work for us. It's a faff but that's how life is.

I'm sorry though OP that you had such a difficult time today, it's frustrating and you would think everywhere would try harder to be accessible, but they just don't.

Of all places that you think are just after money Wetherspoons is actually quite good.

Obviously no where can be 'fully accessible' and any company that says it is is lying but they have a minimum distance between chairs to leave a 'run' for people with mobility issues.

I only found this out when I went to one and someone moved a chair and was politely asked to leave space by the staff.