Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

Exactly. They don’t have to be a listed building for any alterations to be difficult/impossible/not financially viable. They may rent the premises and not be allowed to make alterations. They may open direct onto a pavement and not have space to put a ramp in. It may not be structurally safe to knock a bigger doorway out. 🤷‍♀️

I am sorry and I agree it must be bad always having to think about stuff like this. Dd has coeliac disease and from an eating out pov it is comparable in that there are places we can’t go to. Sometimes we don’t know till we get there. Normally we have to plan ahead. Any trip to a new town involves much searching of trip advisor or coeliac fb groups for advice.

Are you an architect who has experience and knowledge of adaptations for listed buildings?
You could make an absolute fortune for all the advice you can give about the 'plenty things' that can be done. I'm sure you could do so even just from the businesses in Edinburgh Old Town!

I’ve never been anywhere that didn’t have toilet facilities for both sexes!

Oddly relatable... I was in Selfridge's and followed the sign for the disabled toilet. It turns out that it was along a corridor marked as the Men's toilet. And indeed, just before the open doorway of the Gents was a toilet facility for disabled folk. I did wonder if I needed a penis to use it, but some kindly menfolk assured me that it wasn't actually in the Gents itself. I felt very strange walking back surrounded by men who were still drying hands or doing up their flies though!

If Accessibility means having to go through a kitchen or have to do some undignified action — it's not Accessible. I suspect those dining destinations were happy to serve you outside in the freezing cold to be "accessible".

There are some idiots on here. I understood your post OP, and understood the analogy.

From the amount of negative answers you’ve received it’s clear that the point was badly made and most of us didn’t have a clue what you were talking about. Now you’re being argumentative with anyone that disagrees! I’d have been full of sympathy and outrage for you, had it been more obvious what you were complaining about. Now I just find you annoying!

I was so confused at first! But totally get your point, it’s really not on! Sorry you have to deal with this.

Oh you were being silly. Sorry, didn’t get it!

Weird

It wasn't. Try harder next time.

OP your point was very clear, it was an excellent analogy. You even wrote at the end of your post, “a day in the life of disabled people”. Clearly really poor comprehension skills on display.

Sorry you have to deal with this.

Sorry this has happened

Im not in a wheelchair but when looked after baby niece a few weeks back it dawned on me quite how many cafes were inaccessible for a pushchair !
No ramps and steps up - no escalators / lifts in shops with upstairs areas .
Very poor !

Glad I read all Ops updates. Certainly isn't clear from the opening post. You need to re-word and try again, I'm afraid.

It’s you who needs to try harder not the OP, you’ve completely missed the point.

No. Given multiple posters have all commented the op was badly written
On this occasion op inadvertently wrote a nonsensical post,and a fair few have commented on that

I wondered why it was that the OP had not got to know over the years which venues were wheelchair accessible before inviting her friend to eat out.

Newer and cheaper places like McDs generally are disability accessible as are up market venues. .

So OP wanted to go somewhere more specialist.

So if I wanted to take a friend I would have checked out venues before issuing an invitation in order to avoid embarrassing the friend who must have ended up feeling really hungry and fed up.

It strikes me that the OP was wanting someone with her in order to make a point at the venues she visited as she did on MN with the rather mystifying analogy.

Apparently, a penis

I am not an architect no but as part of my role I do work alongside them along with engineers and other innovators who work in this area yes.
I have seen some truly incredible solutions for access. Including some that have cost much less than you might think.

I always research before we go. I wouldn't presume in advance. I can't manage steps at the moment waiting for new hips. I also look at the menu.

I thought everyone did. 🤷‍♂️

Why aren't you sharing them then? What's stopping you from changing things? If you work alongside them and the engineers in planning/construction what is stopping the changes?

There is no magic one solution fits all! But there are lots of things that can be done. And in my line of work we absolutely do share them. Far and wide!
As for what’s stopping them? ignorance, cost cutting and lack of will mainly.

What you on about.. 3 places don't let women in ????

I'm immensely confused how this could happen too🤔

Lots of places can be adapted, it's just that people choose not to. Or to make disabled people feel uncomfortable or like they are in the way if they need assistance. Other people simply don't think about the range of accessibility requirements. They dont always require extensive finding but they do require a commitment to understand rather than blanket decide it's all a bit hard so we won't bother ...

I've not read all the comments but I just wanted to say in case no one else has, I understood your post!