Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

This thread is really really sad. I’m absolutely appalled by how many posters are openly posting that disabled people should just suck up not being able to go to a huge number of places able bodied people can. People keep chucking around percentages of people that this affects but that’s just not true. Accessibility benefits is all! It not only benefits wheelchair users but the elderly, someone who has an injury, those with young children. The list goes on. A lot of things can be done in the vast majority of buildings, including listed buildings, which would be massively beneficial. But people don’t want to because it doesn’t affect them. As some posters have already pointed out lots will say that they are accessible but in reality they are not.
The changing places toilets are amazing and finally a lot more large venues are putting them in which is fantastic. It’s progress. But more needs to be done. Anyone of us could find ourselves in this situation in our lives. It would benefit everyone if there was more support for accessibility and yes more calling out of venues that do not have accessible facilities.

Do you never just pass by and think 'oh this place looks nice, let's pop in' ?

Don't you think disabled people should be able to do that as well?

It shouldn't be up to disabled people to make people aware, every venue should be aware. Yes, there may be some exceptions, but it sounds like even new buildings don't always have disabled people in mind.

Maybe actually read the thread and come back and tell us if you still find it funny?

It's not about whether the building is listed, it's often just OLD buildings which can't be reasonably changed. I've only recently started needing to use disabled toilets, and one of my favourite pubs doesn't have one. I can still go but I fully understand it's up to me to work round the issue, not them.

But then again that's just a disabled toilet, not actual wheelchair access.

Of course it would be lovely to just pop in to anywhere if you wanted. That's the ideal aim but it's not realistic or practical. We do the best we can given physical and financial constraints.

Who is 'we'?

This thread is really really sad. I’m absolutely appalled by how many posters are openly posting that disabled people should just suck up not being able to go to a huge number of places able bodied people can. People keep chucking around percentages of people that this affects but that’s just not true.

If this is what you think you've read, rather than trying to provoke, your reading ability isn't great. You're making your point but it's not what posters have said.

No one has said they should suck it up.

What posters have said is that rather than be disappointed on arrival at a venue, it's best IF POSSIBLE, to make some enquiries first and explain your needs.
Turning up at a cafe/pub with no idea if it's suitable if you have specific needs, is not sensible. Anyone who has disabilities must know this. It sucks, for sure, but so do many health conditions that necessitate some forward planning or compromise.

Yes, of course, society should move towards making all public venues accessible. But that's unlikely to happen partly due to space, building regs , or costs for the business.

It's not good. But equally there are people with food allergies, IBS, all kinds of health issues, who find going out and accessing what they need, very hard.

<sigh>
Many people have reasons not to just 'pop in'.

I have many food intolerances that can result in days of gastric discomfort if I eat something. I can't just pop into any old cafe. I read the menu online first if it's there and make a choice over where I can go. Or I don't go and take something to eat with me.
I can't expect every cafe/ pub/ restaurant to offer me an individual menu , just for me.

But I agree that as far as possible all buildings should be accessible for wheelchairs or other mobility aids.

I have food intolerances too and IBS, and rarely eat out now.

But just because we have intolerances doesn't mean we shouldn't be calling out venues for inaccessibility.

It's like saying I can't enjoy something, so you shouldn't be able to either.

But I agree that as far as possible all buildings should be accessible for wheelchairs or other mobility aids.

Did you read as far as the last sentence of my post @nomas?

If you mean that every place serving food has to be able to cater for a huge range of food intolerances, that's not realistic.

I often ask for some things to be left out, put on the side, or if small tweaks can be made to things on the menu.

I fully 'get' what OP means because I have gone from cafe to cafe at times unable to eat whatever is on the menu.

I did but it was kind of nullified by the rest of your post in which you sighed and moaned that you can't just pop to restaurants to yourself.

If you mean that every place serving food has to be able to cater for a huge range of food intolerances, that's not realistic.

No, I don't mean that. I am just addressing's OP issue, which is about accessibility not food intolerances. Not everything has to be about everyone.

My plans changed today, and I need to grab some lunch in town.

From my office, I can see 30+ places to do that. But at least half of them were inaccessible when I was a wheelchair user.

As someone who has severe food allergies I cant just turn up and buy lunch wherever either. Yes its crap but it is what it is, so to help myself I call ahead to see if I can be accommodated, if not I try the next place until I find somewhere. It really isn't a big deal. If im out for the day with friends, I'll try and find somewhere out for us to go but if not I'll pack myself some food, eat separately then just have a drink while they eat somewhere. Is it really such a hardship to make a 2 minute call?

@sosorryimnotsorry "A lot of things can be done in the vast majority of buildings, including listed buildings, which would be massively beneficial. But people don’t want to because it doesn’t affect them."

I think you're being harsh and judgemental. To say that "people don't want to to because it doesn't affect them" is rarely true and completely overlooks the matter of cost. A close relative runs a venue in a listed building with winding corridors and twisting staircases. They've looked into every possible option to instal accessible facilities but the lowest quote they've had is for £675,000 - plus VAT. They simply don't have anything even close to that sort of money and never will, unless they win the lottery. The building isn't even worth that much. What are they supposed to do? I guess you'd say they should just pack up, sack their loyal staff and leave behind all their hard work as well as their home.

By 'we' I meant society in general, from the government making laws down to individual venues, who obviously want to maximize the number of customers. Also individuals - if I saw somebody in a wheelchair struggling to get up a ramp or through a doorway, I'd ask if they'd like help and I suspect most people would.

is this a joke thread or something seriously

Your point was lost because 'women' and 'the disabled' aren't really comparable groups for the simple fact that women make up 51% of the population.

I would suggest the hierarchy goes:

Able-bodied men
v
Able bodied women
v
Able bodied children
v
Disabled men and women
v
Disabled children

Notice how both able bodied women and the disabled sit below men.

Not everything has to be about everyone.

Can you see the irony in that?

If other people post with their own challenges when eating out you're saying that doesn't matter . Well, it does, because we're talking about the same thing- people not being able to access food at all venues for different medical reasons.

My post It wasn't 'nullified'.

It was balanced.

I think you’re missing the point, disabled people
shouldn’t have to rely on the kindness of strangers.

They should be able to be independent.

Would you want to look for stranger to help you everywhere you went?

The thread is about disabled people.

Why don’t you start your own about the challenges of being intolerant?

Really? It's my responsibility to check hotels are meeting fire regulations? Since when!?
Do I get a clip board and a hat and badge?! 😆

Gosh, if only there was some way you could find that out?

Did you not think that there might be some sort of clue in the 300+ comments before yours?

What on earth are you on about? Who said you have to do anything?

No, of course not. But, for example, if someone's in a wheelchair they can't go up kerbs or a road gravel or over a stile. Do you suggest that we get rid of all kerbs, gravel and stiles? No matter how hard we try, we will never be able to remove all obstacles or enable wheelchair users to be able to do everything that everyone else does. The same goes for people with other disabilities. With the best will in the world, it is impossible to make everything accessible to all.

All public pavements have dropped kerbs to allow wheelchairs to cross the road easily.

Why do you think don't?

And why should disabled people just accept that it's 'impossible to make everything accessible to all' when they can keep flagging it to the businesses?

Things only change when you make noise.