Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

The story ends with my friend contacting the local fire service on Monday who turned up and closed the hotel down for a slew of fire safety breaches. A rare victory.

Because people in wheelchairs can toast very nicely.

Name and shame the restaurants, OP.

We can all email them.

AliceMaforethought · Today 07:38

"I thought that this thread was yet another one about trans issues."

That's what I thought and i'm disabled with Multiple Sclerosis.

OP is writing to her audience, which on MN is mainly women.

Yanbu

Genuine question but how did she know that they were flouting fire regulations when she couldn’t get up the path let alone into the hotel? Or was the step the issue?

"Name and Shame" with the goal to shut down?.🤨

I wouldn't be emailing anyone without further back ground.

Because the accessible room they had provided could only be accessed over more gravel which was between the entrance and the fire assembly point.

The hotel had recently been taken over by a celebrity chef and his very first decision was to rip out the tarmaced paths and replace them with pea shingle.

Fire brigade turned up, one look, listed a few pages of breaches and used their powers to close the premises.

That was 15 years ago. She's not got the energy anymore. it's like the labours of Hercules.

Thank you.

They can email back and explain can't they?

If it were left to you, things would never get better.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable then. It's disgraceful in this day and age x

No, but I'd be shocked if you came up with an example and people said 'oh actually, that's ok.'

It might be impossible to make everywhere accessible to all, but we should be trying? Especially as nowhere was a listed building in the OPs example.

It was 30 years ago. When my friends GP assumed she'd want an abortion when she fell pregnant. Was clearly standard practice as they were very surprised when my friend went ballistic.

When she saw the facilities at the hospital she knew why. They'd had a £10,000,000 refit and some doors weren't wide enough to take a wheelchair, and there were no shower facilities for wheelchair users. She ended up having to go home after giving birth leaving little one in neo natal.

"I went to a restaurant but couldn't eat anything because nothing was gluten free".

People seem to find that absolutely acceptable all the time and whilst I wouldn't personally call coeliac disease a disability it does actually meet the legal criteria and has been counted as a disability in historic employment tribunals.

I actually think it's fair enough that not everywhere can cater for me. I think it's a bad business decision because being gluten free is so common (more than 1/100 people and those people typically eat with friends/family) but that's their choice.

That's appalling 😢

Your point was lost because 'women' and 'the disabled' aren't really comparable groups for the simple fact that women make up 51% of the population. To suggest this group didn't have access to places to eat and drink is massively overreaching.

Tell the local health authority.

They did try to get my friend to "help" them with advice on how best to make it accessible. Which demonstrated that (a) they hadn't bothered beforehand and (b) disabled peoples time is free, but architects have to be paid.

A good tip for wheelchair users is to find out if the venue has to use pallets. Because often they won't put a ramp in for a wheelchair, but they will for pallets.

You needed a penis to get into a restaurant to go out for lunch?!
WTAF are you on about 😂 I regularly go out by myself for lunch/dinner/evening meal and have definitely never needed one of them to 😁

😂

I also think your analogy doesn't work because there are lots of very different disabilities. having a penis or not is very specific.

I must say at first I didn’t understand what were you talking about, but once I realised, such a powerful message. I can’t imagine all you are going through every day. I send you strength and a big hug! I hope it gets easier one day.

This would be a far more meaningful and constructive discussion which might actually change matters, if @Mrsmunchofmunchington came back and elaborated.

It's not clear what the issue was; whether it's one of access with steps, narrow doorways, tables not at the right height or with space around them, or no accessible toilets.

Any owners of cafes and pubs could contribute to her thread and explain from their point of view and also learn from her about what they should try to offer.

I'm intrigued that , after some 'ranty' posts, she's simply disappeared and not tried to make this into a constructive thread- about what her needs are and what wasn't available.

Is not having a penis a disability?

As I've said, a venue that prohibits 51% of the population would not be because of their sex. That's discrimination.

I have a small pub near me that has no disabled toilet. I don't know how they get away with it as it's not a listed building. I feel sorry for anyone who goes there and discovers this too late.

However, if that was their need, a phone call beforehand would be best.

Sadly not all venues are suitable for everyone. Someone here mentioned having coeliac. That's not a disability as such but makes eating out very hard. As does having any food intolerances or allergies.

Probably a strap on.

We are trying.