No payment for her 3 naans

[TheAquaCrab]

We all got a curry, to cut a long story short(er).

4 friends in total, including me. Person who hasn’t paid is new to group. All happened last week.

I paid for the takeaway and said it’s fine, just everyone transfer me the money tomorrow when they get a chance.

We were going to share but this particular friend wanted her own. All fine. We still agreed to all go 4 ways, despite her not getting anything to share out, and ordering 3 naans!

Today is Monday and the meal took place last Friday. Still no payment. I reminded her on Saturday and she said she was so sorry, send bank details and she’d send it. So I did.

Still nothing. I messaged again this evening and she left me on read. Messaged friend whose friend she originally was… who said she’s now on holiday! I don’t even remember her mentioning that

We are suppose to be going for an 80s night next month. AIBU not to go if she goes? Told other friend and she said she probably just keeps forgetting

I wouldn’t mind but she asked to take the left over coke bottle and the last of the butter chicken. We all said yes because we were stuffed

Cheeky woman has an amazing figure to boot, so maybe I’m just jealous!

This

It's not the amount of money, it's the principle. It's just as wrong to not repay £10 when it's asked for as £10,000.

It's not at all embarrassing to chase for money you're owed, the only person who should be embarrassed is the person who doesn't bother to repay someone who's lent them money and ignores their messages.

Just call her 3 naan *Sarah forever more.
*insert real name here

It’s all I could think of too!

I agree wholeheartedly with this. There is only 1 person in this scenario who should be embarrassed. If it's such a small unimportant amount she should just flipping pay it. OP could be down to her last few quid before pay day for all the CF knows

this thread is why I still read mumsnet.

Hope you get your money back OP.

YANBU

Which is exactly why CFs behave the way they do by being allowed to walk over people like you

Poundland do worming tablets

Hand them to her and say ‘no charge, just give me the £28 and these will clear you up’

I really wouldn’t constitute a laid back attitude to walking over people. They are two different things. You do you.

I just double-checked and you're right: a plain naan is £2.90, so no idea where I got £16 for 3 from!!??!!

It obviously does still add up, though, if you have multiple sides!

It was for a quarter, ie 3 months, plus it was for the winter quarter in Newcastle upon Tyne (a cold city in winter!) and we had electric heaters in some rooms and the water was on electric.

(ETA: It was a final bill as well, so a final reading not an estimate.)

Was I ever glad to leave that shared house! I moved to my own flat with a lovely gas fire.

I think they mean that what you call having a laid-back attitude, they call letting OTHER people walk over YOU.
Which I agree with. If someone owes you money they owe you money. Doesn't matter how much it is, if someone is hard up or not, or who did the ordering of the takeaway.

But OP hardly knows this woman. She is the friend of one of the other women in the group who invited her to the curry night. If she was a close friend, OP would probably not mind the late payment. This woman ordered more than anyone else and is avoiding paying OP back. We don't know anything about OP's finances and whether she needs the money urgently, but it's still really thoughtless of this woman not to transfer the money to OP at the first time of OP asking. To avoid doing it after the second reminder is really rude.

But it’s barely been that long. I can understand feeling this way after a week but it has been a matter of days. People are so black & white on this thread. In future, I suggest OP does not offer to order or pay for anyone if they’re not in a position to do so. I don’t disagree that it’s thoughtless, but we are all human. I wouldn’t write the woman off after a few days.

She is/was in a position to pay for the takeaway, but she still needs her money back.

I do agree, if it's a good friend and smaller amounts I'll sometimes say (or they will) 'you pay for the coffees next time' etc, but getting on for £30 for a meal is a bit different.
I think this situation is also different because this person is new to the friendship group; there isn't the relaxed sense that you know they're good for it that you get with longer-term friends. Plus, everyone else ordered things to share and she didn't, but she ordered quite a bit of food for herself. And she took home the left-over Coke and the last of one of the food orders.
During the takeaway itself her behaviour was selfish and greedy (I don't mean gluttonous, I mean greedy in asking to take the left-overs home when she hadn't paid for them).
And when she was reminded she made noises about sending the money, and then didn't.

Given all this, it seems quite clear that she's taking the piss.

Only voted unreasonable because I think you’d be unreasonable to miss the night out - why should you because of her, it would be you missing out - but she is definitely a CF and if she hasn’t paid by then mention it before night out - hi CF I can’t see if you’ve managed to transfer me the money for curry - if you haven’t, can you bring the cash to 80s night as I’ll need it to cover my night out

Yes British restaurants seem very reluctant to do this for some reason.

It was a takeaway but I’ve never had a problem with restaurants splitting the bill

Phew 😮‍💨 you can rest easy and order several now

Are you really getting this worked up over about £5 worth of food and drink?
Seriously the rules of buying things for others and getting the money back later is don't do it unless you can afford to not get the money back at all!

No they don't! I've never once had a problem doing it.
British people are just too reluctant to ask

🎵 Three naans down my shirt
Lime pickle still gleaming
This phaal's gonna hurt
Now my nose is streaming 🎵

I agree. I had lunch out the other day and there was a table of eight young women celebrating a birthday. They all had vouchers and the waitress couldn't have been more helpful in terms of splitting the bill into the food/drink that each person had and then applying the voucher on top.

Imagine all falling out and losing friends over some Naan bread.

Keep asking. Being on holiday is not an excuse you can quickly transfer online if you have internet.