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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No payment for her 3 naans

294 replies

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 19:41

We all got a curry, to cut a long story short(er).

4 friends in total, including me. Person who hasn’t paid is new to group. All happened last week.

I paid for the takeaway and said it’s fine, just everyone transfer me the money tomorrow when they get a chance.

We were going to share but this particular friend wanted her own. All fine. We still agreed to all go 4 ways, despite her not getting anything to share out, and ordering 3 naans!

Today is Monday and the meal took place last Friday. Still no payment. I reminded her on Saturday and she said she was so sorry, send bank details and she’d send it. So I did.

Still nothing. I messaged again this evening and she left me on read. Messaged friend whose friend she originally was… who said she’s now on holiday! I don’t even remember her mentioning that

We are suppose to be going for an 80s night next month. AIBU not to go if she goes? Told other friend and she said she probably just keeps forgetting

I wouldn’t mind but she asked to take the left over coke bottle and the last of the butter chicken. We all said yes because we were stuffed

Cheeky woman has an amazing figure to boot, so maybe I’m just jealous!

OP posts:
RobinEllacotStrike · 23/09/2025 11:27

Oh well I missed the "takeaway" part 😁😁😁

SprayWhiteDung · 23/09/2025 11:29

OliviaEyeLiveEre · 23/09/2025 11:18

Wind your neck in. I have not said £28 is an ‘insignificant’ amount of money. If you are going to be do precious then may I suggest you don’t assume the naan bread scoffer is called Stacey as you might offend some people called Stacey. 🙄

Show quote history

You didn't use those exact words but you strongly implied it.

Somebody else upthread started using the random name Stacey for her as an easy shortform identifier, so I didn't bother to find a different one.

I'm sure that, even if her real name IS Stacey, any other people called Stacey who are on this thread will realise that it's referring to an entirely different person and not them.

Kubricklayer · 23/09/2025 11:42

My friend was assaulted in an Indian restaurant at the weekend!

...he's currently in a Korma 😥

WildLeader · 23/09/2025 12:29

Call her and tell her she owes you. She is taking the piss

tell all your mates too and tell them she’s not getting an invitation next time or she can pay for her meal separately

hyggetyggedotorg · 23/09/2025 12:35

Anyone else hearing Smithy ordering his 3 Bhunas?

I’d be annoyed too OP, there have been months where I’d have needed that £28 back to get to work until payday & a new acquaintance is hardly going to know your financial position.

I would ask again but by saying that you’re a bit concerned she’s accidentally sent the money to the wrong account number as you’ve not received it yet? 😉

Also mind blowing that anyone can want 3 naans to themselves - unless they were very tiny!

hyggetyggedotorg · 23/09/2025 12:36

And yes, the situation in Gaza is undoubtedly worse but humans are usually able to have opinions on/care about more than one issue at a time.

SirBasil · 23/09/2025 12:42

I would send her a reminder every day until there is at least some reply.

On the 80s night i would remind her again, ask for cash because she clearly can't manage online banking.

If you ever end up paying for everyone and she is there? tell her it is Cash On Delivery for payment defaulters.

She is in the wrong. You are in the right. No need to hide.

SirBasil · 23/09/2025 12:44

GimmieABreakOr3 · 22/09/2025 20:31

There are people dying of starvation in Gaza, but oh no, Stacey didn’t pay for her 3 “nan” breads. Jesus wept.

look up the fallacy of relative privation.

SprayWhiteDung · 23/09/2025 12:45

Also mind blowing that anyone can want 3 naans to themselves - unless they were very tiny!

I suppose, if they were very tiny, they could just nibble a hole in the middles and then have three lovely new ponchos for their winter wardrobe Grin

LittleBitofBread · 23/09/2025 12:47

I wouldn't not go to the 80s night. Why would you do that? Confused I'd keep messaging her about the money, and if it's not forthcoming by the 80s night it won't be ask her face to face. Tell her pleasantly that if she has cash on her that'll be fine, otherwise she needs to do a transfer ASAP as it's been a while.

reversingdumptruckwithnotyreson · 23/09/2025 12:51

At first I thought she’s obviously skint and that’s why she took the extra food home but then she’s off on holidays…..

Priorities and CFery. I’d be asking for it back in person.

FrenchandSaunders · 23/09/2025 12:51

I hate this. winds me up. I pay straight away.

Do you earn more than her OP? I have found that since we've inherited some money, some people assume I'm happy to cover their share. It astounds me.

If I was dining with a multi billionaire I would still offer my share .... lovely if they want to say "no, i'd love to treat you", but don't assume!

RaininSummer · 23/09/2025 12:52

She's a cheeky mare. It takes moments to transfer money you owe. Don't avoid the next event because of this but remind her constantly in front of the others.

Trendyname · 23/09/2025 12:55

BallerinaRadio · 23/09/2025 08:45

But the post itself says no payment for 3 naans. I'm assuming like you that she did but the OP isn't very clear and why would they say no payment for 3 naans and not no payment for takeaway meal?

I've tried rereading it but it still isn't overly clear

Show quote history

OP’s title is confusing but in the post she says new friend order 3 naan plus main dish which she didn’t want to share plus naan. Also she took leftover food with her.

AguNwaanyi · 23/09/2025 13:01

Stay on her neck until she pays and if she hasn't by the 80s night, still go and remind her there. I stopped offering to do stuff like this because I learned some people aren't to be trusted when it comes to money. Had one who would then try to make out that I was the weird one for reminding her.

SprayWhiteDung · 23/09/2025 13:05

Trendyname · 23/09/2025 12:55

OP’s title is confusing but in the post she says new friend order 3 naan plus main dish which she didn’t want to share plus naan. Also she took leftover food with her.

Show quote history

I didn't interpret it as confusing, but as a sign of OP's frustration that, even though she was in no hurry to pay for herself promptly (or maybe at all), she was quite happy to order a very large amount of food for somebody else to sub her for.

It's also cheeky to reserve and refuse to share 'your' food, whilst being perfectly happy to let another person/people 'share' their money by paying for yours. It's cheeky enough when you get people who say they'll 'just have a little taste or two' of other people's food and not order or pay for anything themselves; but she currently has had the best of both worlds: she's had considerably more food than anybody else, but she's the only one who hasn't paid anything for it!

CountryQueen · 23/09/2025 13:06

£28?! Where the fuck are you getting your curry from?

SprayWhiteDung · 23/09/2025 13:09

CountryQueen · 23/09/2025 13:06

£28?! Where the fuck are you getting your curry from?

A curry, rice and three naans can easily come to £28 from a takeaway - especially considering that you've ordered essentially two meals.

At our local (very unposh) Indian, three (massive) naans would come to about £16 on their own.

LeaderBee · 23/09/2025 13:11

Three naans Jeremy!? That's insane!

VivaDixie · 23/09/2025 13:17

Hankunamatata · 22/09/2025 19:55

I camt be only one who read the title as Nans. And thought how on earth has she 3 grandma's and why does she need to pay them

I had 3 grandma's - two Bio and one step Smile

Haven't RTFT so this may have been said before!

spoonbillstretford · 23/09/2025 13:22

I would go to the 80s night and mercilessly take the piss if she hasn't paid you by then. Threenaans would be her nickname forever.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 23/09/2025 13:28

People like this are a pain in the arse. They make it so awkward for everyone else because they are too selfish to care about leaving others out of pocket.

May I suggest: ‘New friend - please can you transfer £x for your share of the food today? It’s awkward to keep having to remind you but everyone else has settled their share and you’ve still not paid. Thanks.’

Send, then never lend her money again.

CountryQueen · 23/09/2025 13:39

SprayWhiteDung · 23/09/2025 13:09

A curry, rice and three naans can easily come to £28 from a takeaway - especially considering that you've ordered essentially two meals.

At our local (very unposh) Indian, three (massive) naans would come to about £16 on their own.

Show quote history

£5.30 for a naan? You’re being ripped off

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 23/09/2025 13:48

Don't miss out on your night out if she's going - that would be cutting off your nose to spite your face and will achieve nothing.
If I were you I would just message every day asking for the money. Increase it to twice a day after a week if she still hasn't paid. She'll get fed up and pay you eventually. Then obviously never allow her credit again.

TheWordWomanIsTaken · 23/09/2025 13:51

What has being on holiday got to do with anything? It's just a bank transfer likely by app on her phone. She can do that whilst relaxing at the pool surely?