No payment for her 3 naans

[TheAquaCrab]

We all got a curry, to cut a long story short(er).

4 friends in total, including me. Person who hasn’t paid is new to group. All happened last week.

I paid for the takeaway and said it’s fine, just everyone transfer me the money tomorrow when they get a chance.

We were going to share but this particular friend wanted her own. All fine. We still agreed to all go 4 ways, despite her not getting anything to share out, and ordering 3 naans!

Today is Monday and the meal took place last Friday. Still no payment. I reminded her on Saturday and she said she was so sorry, send bank details and she’d send it. So I did.

Still nothing. I messaged again this evening and she left me on read. Messaged friend whose friend she originally was… who said she’s now on holiday! I don’t even remember her mentioning that

We are suppose to be going for an 80s night next month. AIBU not to go if she goes? Told other friend and she said she probably just keeps forgetting

I wouldn’t mind but she asked to take the left over coke bottle and the last of the butter chicken. We all said yes because we were stuffed

Cheeky woman has an amazing figure to boot, so maybe I’m just jealous!

Not really, that’s life. Not a cheap point at all. There really are worse things in life, but I’ll let you all fight over your naan breads. 🙄 God help us all.

You really don't get it do you? The point has flown right over your head.

It's the money, the amount and the fact that said person is not paying it back.
Shouldn't have to chase people up.

Check your own privilege that you don't have to worry about £28 and there you go wittering on about gaza, which has sod all to do with this. Unfortunately some people clearly aren't as lucky as you to write that off.

That's why people are saying things to you, your head is in the clouds.

No, I do get it. I just think it is weird to harass someone for the money back. That is my opinion. I have never not paid someone back, but I also think it’s very harassing to message every day asking for it back.

Like I said up thread - maybe ask again when they’re back from holiday, and again at the 80s night.

Really? Can I borrow £1k @GimmieABreakOr3? Well I say borrow, I mean get, and you'll obviously never ask for it back as that'd be 'weird'....

I meant an existing group chat rather than starting a new one. 🤣 And yes calling her out in that may shame her into paying and she can't pretend OP is being nasty to others if done publicly.

If you have to ask someone to pay you back a few times they always seem to kick off and say you won't get anything as some sort of justification to not repay you.

You shouldn't even need to ask, she should be the one to initiate repayment.

Nope 😊 because I’m not in a position not to be giving that out / not getting that back.

Absolutely agree, plus the unfairness. This is what would bug me. Over summer, my cousin paid for a ticket for me, football, there’s some odd way that she has a season ticket, I couldn’t have got one. Anyway, she told me her account details, I sent her the cash immediately, £26 as I recall. It isn’t ‘just a few pounds’, it’s the principle.

Double negatives there....

Shame her into it - group chat - 'Thanks to everyone who has paid for the takeaway already! '
Go to the 80s night. Don't share with her again xx

Don't let her get away with it by not going to the 80s night! See how she tries to worm her way out of it when she's stood face to face with you.

That's the fourth time this has been brought up.

It's so crap of people who don't pay their way then the payer ends up with the effort and discomfort of chasing what they are owed.

I have been stung like this a few times, in days when I could ill afford it. The debtor would get all huffy and say "oh god it's only a few quid" and still not pay. Whereas I'd be thinking "if it's just a few quid to you just bloody pay it!" I now don't lend money in any form. I'll either treat someone because I want to or they have to pay their own up front. Why should someone get to award themselves a free meal from someone else's wages?

wait a week and message again “hi, just a reminder you still haven’t transferred me the money. Aware you’ve been on holiday, so not a problem but can you pay today please. A reminder it’s £28.”

Go to the night out. If she still hasn’t paid and getting drinks in, simply refuse to buy her one and say it’s because she still hasn’t paid you back and you aren’t a free ATM. Add a jovial laugh so it’s passive aggressive and not outright aggressive .

Oh no! I thought I was so funny and original!

Nothing to do with the amount .... it's the principle and feeling like someone is mugging you off.

in fairness, mumsnet runs on digs & tropes including the we did that already snippiness
so pack it in

This is the exact reason paying for everyone and then expecting them to settle up isnt great. Id write it off and not invite her again and defo don't pay again. Having said that, I wouldn't be missing out on the 80s night because she's a shirker.

Did you get your money back OP?!