No payment for her 3 naans

[TheAquaCrab]

We all got a curry, to cut a long story short(er).

4 friends in total, including me. Person who hasn’t paid is new to group. All happened last week.

I paid for the takeaway and said it’s fine, just everyone transfer me the money tomorrow when they get a chance.

We were going to share but this particular friend wanted her own. All fine. We still agreed to all go 4 ways, despite her not getting anything to share out, and ordering 3 naans!

Today is Monday and the meal took place last Friday. Still no payment. I reminded her on Saturday and she said she was so sorry, send bank details and she’d send it. So I did.

Still nothing. I messaged again this evening and she left me on read. Messaged friend whose friend she originally was… who said she’s now on holiday! I don’t even remember her mentioning that

We are suppose to be going for an 80s night next month. AIBU not to go if she goes? Told other friend and she said she probably just keeps forgetting

I wouldn’t mind but she asked to take the left over coke bottle and the last of the butter chicken. We all said yes because we were stuffed

Cheeky woman has an amazing figure to boot, so maybe I’m just jealous!

You've no idea how significant £28 is to anybody else. Some people could drop it in the street and not bother to bend down to pick it up; others would go hungry for several days without it.

If it's such a tiny insignificant amount, though, even less reason for 'Stacey' to keep it as an unagreed loan for any length of time, eh?

This is exactly how I feel.
A lot of people on here have such small worlds. It’s hardly bank breaking stuff. For the record, I always people back, but hounding incessantly for it makes you a nag. It’s even more embarrassing over £28.
I usually say to people just get it next time or get it back to me in another way.

Nothing small about not wishing to fund a rude friend of a friend to the tune of £28.

A different perspective is that Iwould think someone who would accept this is a people pleaser that is clearly desperate to be liked.

That's all very well if you're friends and that's how your friendship works.

This person is a near stranger to the OP.

It's not up to you to judge whether £28 is a lot of money to someone else or not. For someone on low wages it's at least a couple of hours' work. Would you be happy to work for two hours for free so that a cheeky fucker you've met a handful of times can have a free takeaway?

Not necessarily- just a bit more of a laid back attitude.

Aside from the privilege of being able to brush off £28 as "a few pounds", it goes further than that.

It's the principle of deciding to stiff/steal from/refuse to repay a so-called friend - regardless of for how much.

Would you want to be close friends with somebody who had, say, brazenly stolen £10,000 from you? I'm guessing not.

Would you want to be close friends with somebody who had brazenly stolen £5 from you? Most people would also say No - as that's absolutely not how a proper friend behaves.

In this case, I’d probably ask the friend of the new friend to pay me back if I was really desperate for it then and it can be their responsibility!

But it’s not £10,000 🙄

It's the responsibility of the person who ate the takeaway!

Not the point of the thread but to everyone saying 'naan bread'- naan means bread. You keep saying bread bread.

Weird

Well that's cool for you.

For others it could make the difference in being able to feed their DC for a few days or put petrol in the car to get to work before pay day.

Your 'laid back attitude' could could cause real stress and worry for other people.

I’m coming off this thread now because people are literally moaning and arguing over naan / £28, not to mention are being quite combative when I’ve shared an alternative opinion on the matter - a bit boring now. I hope you eventually get your money back, OP. 🤞🏽

You sound a delight yourself dear!

No, not in this case, but that's exactly the point that I'm making!

It's the principle of not taking advantage of other people - and of not allowing other people to treat you like a doormat.

Just like if your DH had 100 affairs, he would be a bad, unfaithful spouse... whereas if he had 'only' one affair, he would still be a bad, unfaithful spouse...

For me ability to pay would not be in any way be a consideration, it's simply shabby CF behaviour and life is too short to be around such people.

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
With apps like Revolut and the likes, this type of thing can be dealt with instantly.

Having to remind someone that I didn't know even once would mean their card would be marked.

We are suppose to be going for an 80s night next month. AIBU not to go if she goes?

YANBU to be annoyed with this woman, but don't miss out on a fun night because of her. If she goes, embarrass her by asking for your money straight up to her face. Particularly if she's buying drinks or food for herself.

Also, when people go out as a group, and agree to share I think it's really rude not to, so she's already behaved a bit badly.

Yes, going on the night out might actually be the best way for the OP to get her money back.

Cheery post on the WhatsApp group.

"Hey ladies, really looking forward to our night out. Cheeky Fucker, can you please bring enough cash to pay me back for your share of the takeaway we had last weekend?"

I’d give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she has gone on holiday and forgotten to do it before leaving.
Missing the 80s party is a bit of an overreaction, just don’t pay for anything for her again

Wind your neck in. I have not said £28 is an ‘insignificant’ amount of money. If you are going to be do precious then may I suggest you don’t assume the naan bread scoffer is called Stacey as you might offend some people called Stacey. 🙄

But then why did she leave the OP on read?

Which is fine for you, but it's not your place to tell the OP or anyone else that they should just write off nearly £30.00. If it was a fiver I would agree with you, although even then I would always pay that myself. I also could afford to treat, but a lot of people couldn't. And even if they could, why should they? You being a cool girl about this is annoying rather than charming.

I don't understand why people do this - why pay for the bill & invite this world of completely unnecessary hassle into your life?

If a restaurant can't take payments from each of their clients/split the bill they should give up being in business.

I have a friend like this - he thinks he is being useful/kind/helpful/whatever but then he spends half his day moaning about how he is so nice to people and why are they always treating him like a cnut. And then he does it again & again & almost every single time he will be taken advantage of or someone will unreasonably take the piss.

OP - next time leave everyone to pay for their own naans - stop inserting yourself unencessarily into situations & people like Ms Naan will have no one to piss off like this.

It was a takeaway though. I know it's easy for everyone to pay for their own stuff when you're in a restaurant, but can you order a takeaway as one order with one delivery fee and split the payment between several people? I've never seen that.

I would, however, refuse to do it for this particular person in future. Either she can get her own separate takeaway and pay her own separate delivery costs, or someone else can sort out the payment next time.