my 17 year old daughter is so babyish

[ThisSillyAquaPlayer]

I have a 17 years old daughter, and frankly, she is very very eccentric. She acts so much younger than her age and everyone her age kind of sees her as a little sister. That is not necessarily a problem but she also looks and sound way younger than someone her age typically would. She is graduating from high school next year and she will be officially an adult.

She gets so attached to everyone and greets people very enthusiastically even though they might not return the same energy. When she gets excited she gets really excited and she looks up to certain people a lot. Obviously she's not a problem to be fixed but I do think this is a bit of a problem. Is at a lost.

I know someone pretty well with Williams Syndrome it’s very rare they usuallyhave very distinctive facial features and significant learning difficulties I’d be amazed if it wasn’t picked up earlier than 17.

Why do you need to 'toughen her up'?

I'm 27 years old and 36 weeks pregnant, my baby daddy and I dated for few weeks before i got pregnant. He started ignoring me when I was three months pregnant. He also hasn't told his parents about my pregnancy, and refuses to meet me to discuss anything related to the baby. I don't know what to do, this is my first baby and his second( his first lives with his parents). His excuse is that he's always busy and tired. I feel like my baby will be born and her daddy will always see her as a mistake.

I don't see what the problem is. Would you rather she was doing drugs and Onlyfans?

I think you posted in the wrong thread.

She also just sounds like a naive 17 year old. Its possible to just be a friendly, enthusiastic, innocent girl.

Sounds like some sort of ND, she sounds socially unaware and a bit disinhibited. Has she had any sort of social support in terms of how to manage peer interactions?

Oh yes!😳 Lol...Sorry about that.

Your dd sounds lovely, energy is good! It is a refreshing change from all of the miserable lacklustre teenagers you see skulking around, carrying caffeine.

Maybe she has Adhd?

Edited to say she may just be excited and high energy. I teach my dcs difference is good; be yourself. But yes, worth checking on the ND front.

Can she cook? Manage money? Her personal hygiene? Navigate public transport? Is she on top of her school work? How does she react when faced with a challenging situation?
Is she prepared for adulthood? Uni or a job?

it could be she has a innocence due to being fortunate enough to have got through life relatively unscathed. Or it could be autism. Add or similar leaving her struggling socially.

Sounds like SEND.

Get her assessed for autism. If it is that, its so much better to know as soon as possible, her and you. She may be vulnerable. Autistic people, especially women, are known in services as ‘forever twelve.’

She sounds quite similar to dd3 who is 17 and just started y13. Dd3 has ADHD and is very different to her older sisters. I think she'll be okay when she goes to university. A lot of her year seem very immature - not sure if its related to COVID.

I think you overthinking it. My daughter was like this, but I just felt that is who she is and let her grow and develop as a young woman at her pace. at 23 she is independent, has a job and travels on her own. Your daughter needs your support, love and guidance. Also why does it matter how other young people are developing. Just support you daughter, love her for who she is

One of my friends in school was exactly like this. She was eventually diagnosed with autism as an adult.

This sounds exactly like me, and I'm in my 60s and so far no diagnoses of anything (although maybe it's just a matter of time...?).

My trusting naivety has got me into all sorts of pickles throughout my life. Over the years, I know that friends and family (even colleagues!) have sometimes discussed it with concern.

I've experienced some pretty hardcore situations, but did I learn from them? -- not really. That happy-go-lucky approach has been hard to overcome. I think I've sometimes been judged as lacking in life experience, but the opposite is true: no matter what happens to me, this comical level of idiocy/innocence prevails.

I did eventually land on my feet with a lovely DH (#2! -- the first was a very different story) who gently grounds me whenever I am inclined to dream my way into another challenging situation. He finds it amusing that I've plumbed the depths of life and still have this default setting that everything is rosy.

I think this is just the way I'm hardwired, unfortunately. I don't know if it needs fixing. There are advantages and disadvantages to it. I tend to be blissfully unaware of the dangers around me, which gets me into trouble, but then if it all bites me on the bum I am also reasonably resilient. This is a good thing or a bad thing, depending how you look at it.

Intrigued to know if there is a label for this and I should be on medication!!!!!!!!!

She sounds lovely. I was always young for my age and definitely a late-bloomer. I got there in the end, although I’m still too trusting!

She won’t be taken seriously in the workplace

Yes, I was about to say this. I remember doing/being similar at 17, in the hope it would make me liked. It didn't.

It sounds like maybe she needs to take a gap year and get a job before going to uni.

I think time may be the answer. She may mature in her own time. Maybe try to find other parents with similar experiences to see how it developed for them.

I reckon this girl would benefit from someone pointing her in the direction of the Stately Homes thread. Just a feeling…

I think it sounds a bit like this, especially if she's always been quite young for her age and or small in stature.

We all subconsciously adopt a manner that "works" socially, and if someone has had a lot of reinforcement for a babyish demeanour as a child, that can be hard to shift as they hit their teens.

A similar issue is women as they approach middle age. I've noticed lots who have obviously been very attractive in their youth and they still pull the cutsey and/or sexy card and it ... doesn't quite work. Equally, we've all been hit on by some old guy who leans in with all the gravelly-voiced confidence he obviously had when he was young and attractive - and it just no longer quite fits! I don't think it's that unusual tbh op.

We all have to evolve our style of interaction as we change through life, and some people just take longer to notice the old routine has gone a bit "stale."

If one is very different to others it can cause a whole bunch of problems which understandably can make a parent feel nervous.

My son is very young for his age. As in, although he's tall for his age, he has a very babyish face, dimples instead of knuckles, his voice sounds like that of a much younger child, he loves teddy bears and will walk around cuddling one in public (he's nearly 14) still believes in santa and the tooth fairy etc. He has autism. It is a big contrast to my other children in terms of appearance and behaviour. Academically, he's doing fine. Not setting the world on fire, but not delayed. But he looks, sounds and acts like a child half his age (only with the height of a grown man) it's incongruous.

I have asked the paediatrician and speech therapist about his behaviour and speech seeming like that of a younger child and if it is related to autism. They've been quite vague and just said " it can be". No definitive answer.

Sorry, I know that's not really giving you any clarity. Like you, I wonder if he will suddenly grow up like his peers or if he'll always be childlike and vulnerable.