Very strange situation

[gunnermartin]

Just had a call from a friend, who was distraught after a phone call she’d had from a mum from school. (She’s given me permission to post as we are both baffled).

Last night her daughter had a friend over (they’re 10). She was making burgers for dinner and the friends daughter came in saw what she was making and said she didn’t like them can she have a bowl of super noodles instead. Friend offered her alternatives but she said no she wanted noodles. So she made her two packets of them.

Anyway this morning she’s had a call off the other girls mum saying the child went home saying she was starving- the mum asked if she’d eaten dinner and the child said my friend had made her own two children burgers but told the friend who had come round quite aggressively apparently that there wasn’t enough for her so she would have noodles as only her own children were allowed burgers.

Thankfully my friend has an all day ring doorbell inside to watch her dogs in the kitchen, which also records conversations so she had the full dialogue on film, which she downloaded and sent over to the other child’s mother after the call!

Friend is saying she doesn’t want the child in her house anymore and feels bad for her child as they are friends but I’ve also told her I wouldn’t want her in there either!

I have ring cameras in the house too and outside in the garden and at the front. A lot of people have them.

Thank god she had the cameras. The kid is a nasty liar and her mum is clearly pretty nasty and dramatic herself to actually believe such a stupid lie.

I wouldn't have her in my house again. The drama is not worth it.

She's clearly said it's for the dogs. Countless people had said they have them for the dogs....it's for dogs!....but comes in very handy when someone is making lies up about you or you're getting burgled.

Christ, I'm seeing a lot of really hard hearts on here and meanness towards a young girl who, probably to procure a treat for herself and avoid getting into trouble with an overzealous parent, told a lie about food. This lie was not intended to smear her hosts. It was intended to protect her.

This girl is 10 years old, for goodness sake, but so many of you are using really nasty terms to talk about her and saying you would ban her from her home. Have none of you ever done anything wrong? Do you always behave like absolute angels? Do your children?

Because I know I have made some huge mistakes in life and done some wrong things and don’t assume the worst of other people when they do, particularly not children.

This girl is not some kind of devious, criminal mastermind. This is not hugely sinister behaviour. She lied to avoid getting into trouble because she wanted to have Super Noodles. She didn't steal from her host. She didn't mistreat their pets. She didn't trash her host's house. Let's get some perspective and some compassion for a young girl who did something a bit wrong but understandable and which is easily cleared up with no real harm done unless the adults all choose to make a drama out of it (which is on the adults, not the child).

Exactly this. And internal cameras are VERY, VERY normal in the likes of USA, and other countries obviously.

Yes I did read the post. 🤣?

I wouldn't want the girl in my home after that either as you'd never know what she might invent next.

Yep - not worth the risk.

I bet all the people making a big deal out of the camera all have Alexa/google devices which listen to your every word 24 hours a day and upload them to god-knows where.

I bet you have a phone with Siri or the like which goes wherever you go.

you’re on social media which tracks your every word and movement, hence why, if you go into a shop you’ve never been to before you’ll probably receive adverts for it within hours.

Added to which, we have become a society where “the child must be believed at all costs,”. Imagine if the child’s mum had posted that her DD had gone to play at a friend’s house and when they were given dinner she’d given burgers to her kids and the little girl was told she had to have noodles. While some posters absolutely would have said they wonder if the child had asked for them, there are, without a doubt, posters who will have said that this was creepy,, and that they would never send their child there again.

Now imagine that the accusation was more serious, and imagine the potential consequences of that.

This child may have told what she perceives to be an innocent lie, but equally she could tell the same kind of lie in her own house, and the implications would be different.

And while it of course goes without saying that a child making serious allegations should be believed, it is absolutely the case that sadly there are children who are false allegations which do then have consequences.

The camera is in the kitchen. What exactly are your children going to be doing inn the kitchen which you don’t want filmed.

Personally I don’t have cameras in my house and it’s not something I would consider.

But people increasingly do.

Wouldn’t be happy if my child was being filmed in another house. Also really weird that the friend’s mother called to complain, could not imagine doing that!

Obviously she can't and mustn't have her round again, and her child must avoid her as much as possible too. Liars are very dangerous. Next time she might say someone stole something from her, hit her, or worse.

Avoid at all costs. Whatever is going on, or wrong with the child, is not your friend's problem to fix and she couldn't anyway. She must protect herself and her child.

No this wasn't just a lie. Lying to cover up eating Super Noodles would generally be: " I'm starving because I didn't have much dinner.."

Not - " The host only fed her children burgers and AGGRESSIVELY said there wasn't enough for me!"

It's just not the same.

All she had to do was lie and say she had burgers. Super noodles never needed to come into the conversation. This is a devious lie, meant to portray the mum as mean and horrible and the kid as the victim. And the mother is stupid enough to believe her AND confront the OP's friend about it.

What is this girl going to lie about next? Do you really want this kind of kid 1) in your house and 2) around your child?

I'm glad it was recorded, so she had proof she was offered the same meal. I hope the other mum apologised? I wouldn't want her in my home again, as she may tell a more serious lie next time!.

Does the mum know your friend at all?

I mean knowing my daughter's friend's mums if she came back with a tale like that my first thought would be that she was mistaken.

Or I'd maybe say that she hadn't wanted the burgers I'd made so had had noodles.

Not sure if I would have sent the recording over straight away rather than just clarify.

The point is if you don't want to be recorded in the living areas of the house, you let your host know so they can make an adjustment.

You can't expect them to read your mind.

No one is forcing you to go to their home, so yes, the onus, is on you.

I probably wouldn't want the girl back either but I have a feeling the mum won't be asking to send her anymore anyway.

Also, we’ve become a society where no-one acknowledges that kids are kids any more, capable of lying and without the maturity to know what they’re saying.

40 years ago if a child had told that kind of lie people would be shocked and probably not believe them.

Now we assume that there is a sinister intent there from the friend’s mum, and the child is an innocent party.

There is in fact middle ground, but that has been lost.

I think this whole situation has blown up from allowing the ten year old to decide what they're being served. I wouldn't be making a separate meal.

This.

Alexa doesn't record all the time (well, that's what Amazon says!). It only does when you say the wake word.

Actually, a bit off topic but I sometimes wish she did. I have had arguments with DH when he has adamantly either claimed to have said something he didn't, or not to have said something he did. I have found myself furiously wishing I was inn the movie Deja Vu where they can go back and watch (and hear) things that happened previously. I guess having a camera inside would serve the same function, but I can't see DH agreeing to that! He is already convinced that Alexa is working for some nefarious body, or the US government (actually that is a nefarious body now). Not really, it's a joke...or is it??

They do, but not constantly recording. That's really weird. Our cameras only record when the alarm is set and they detect movement.
I would not be happy knowing I was being recorded in a friends or anyones house.
One friend had a camera in their living room, her partner put it in to check on dog if no one was home... sometimes I'd be sitting in there with her and he would be at work. The camera light would start blinking... I used to get up and unplug it!

Has the mother of the girl responded after the recording was sent

also this.... Alexa devices do NOT record your conversations!

Children lie. No matter how nice the child is, or what the family situation is, the fact is children lie. Children lie to get themselves out of trouble or perceived trouble. Some children just lie more than others. I suspect the child isn't allowed noodles for dinner, and realised she could have them if she told her friend's Mum, she didn't like them. Went home and her Mum asked what she had for tea. Rather than admit the truth, as she knew she'd be in trouble, she made up an elaborate lie. Children don't think about the plausibility of the lie, if they're likely to be found out or the consequences of telling the lie. She probably didn't think her Mum would call her friend's Mum. The telling part would be, what was the Mum's reaction when given the evidence? Unfortunately, some parents don't always think rationally or logically themselves either, they jump to conclusions and it doesn't enter their head that their own child might have lied or exaggerated. The child's Mum should be making her daughter apologise to the other Mum and also be punished for lying in the first place. If I were the other Mum, I wouldn't be keen on having a child in my house, that tells bare faced nasty lies. If she is capable of making this poor woman out to cruel towards her, what else would she say or lie about???

She needs to stop telling lies.