Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

I don’t think you are being at all unreasonable, @NotUsually - your son got a punishment which you agree he deserved, and you have backed the school up on it - but your son was also deliberately humiliated by the teacher, and I cannot see how that was acceptable. You sound like a good parent.

Not sure how but ok 👍

The teacher was sarcastic (he clapped him out the class sarcastically) which left the child humiliated. So no they are not the same but the action of one caused the other. The teacher certainly didn’t bully him

The teacher sounds like a bully and took the opportunity to humiliate a soft target.

I have never heard of such behaviour from a teacher and I cannot imagine any normal caring parent allowing it to pass without comment.
I certainly wouldn't.

I have the utmost respect for teachers, I certainly would not support poor behaviour from students, and have been mostly blessed with the highest of calibre of teachers in 20 years of being in and out of schools.
If detention was given, then so be it.
Taking the opportunity to humiliate a child, absolutely not.

I would be making this a formal query and ask for the documentation which supports this treatment of your son.

Where in the schools written policy they sanctioned such treatment of students.

Where the humiliation of a child by a teacher being witnessed and involving the rest of the class Is part of their ethos.

40 years ago when I was in school this treatment of a student wouldn't fly.
Not a chance I would accept it for my children today.

You agree your son spoke twice in the situation where he shouldn’t have spoken at all; your description of his actual vol/words would make some teachers smile.
I would drop it. it’s not doing your son any favours but if you have been told your son is very quiet and too withdrawn tell him to ask how he can be less so during his tutor time.
But humiliation should never be used as part of a consequence

I was a primary teacher and would never humiliate a child like this. I refused to move the kids down on the traffic lights as it’s humiliating for everyone to see. Regularly got into trouble for that. In my staff meeting I liaised with teachers I knew would be ok and moved their names down on a mock traffic light because they were talking in staff meeting. Moved the DH down because she was not paying attention as she was typing on her laptop. Got told off yet said why do we do this to kids!!!

I would raise hell over the clapping to the HOY or HOD and detail who saw it and which group it was as may not have been his tutor group.
Seniors can interview children. But needs to be quick as kids forget.

my kid was given a whole class detention by the subject teacher because she came back for a fire bell and the cover teacher had got all the personal drama property of the teacher out and kids had on wigs and clothes. Was more interested in yelling at kids to take it off than evacuating in a fire drill. Cover teacher said nothing.
it says in their policies that whole class detentions aren’t a thing.
investigation took place and only the parents who complained got their kid out of the detention. Was so cross at cover teacher who didn’t apologise or admit their error.

you’ve accepted the punishment and had a word with your kid. He will have learned not to talk. But should not be shamed

I’m so glad my kid is in sixth form now as y7-11 were so hard and he’s a good kid. No behaviour points but kids actually disrupting just don’t turn up to detention anyway

Yet another snowflake parent who wouldnt have survived the 70s

woman up @NotUsually and have a word with your kid NOT to disrespect the class/teacher in future.

no wonder the world is in such a mess with the hand wringing going on over badly behaved kid getting punished.

This is disgusting to read. Humiliation is not a tool I would want to see in a classroom.

Good for you, taking it up with the school! Your son will know that we don't brush bullying under the carpet and we stand up to those in authority positions when they are out of line.

Most kids sit and listen to the teacher. I have taught for a long time. You should be ashamed at your son’s poor behaviour. The clapping isn’t ideal but I am sure the teacher and the rest of the kids were fed up with his behaviour.

Good god, have teenagers really become this pathetic since I was one? I’m not saying that this teacher sounds brilliant, but to go crying to Mummy? Really? And then for mummy to make a complaint to the school?

If I were you OP I’d put my time and energy into building up my son’s resilience rather than doing battle with his school.

How often does your kid annoy the 💩 out of his teachers ? Maybe a little embarrassment is what he needs so he keeps quiet and pays attention in the future.

I feel I need to wade in on this for you OP! I have 2 kids, both very different. One who got the occasional detention for fairly minor stuff (I think 3 in his whole time at school) who would have raised merry hell with the senior team about the clapping himself.

My youngest sounds like yours. Not one negative and he is in year 9. Very quiet, gets on with school, listens and pays attention, wont ever hand in homework late type of kid (basically the one I don't have to worry about). He has a good circle of friends et etc. He would have been mortified if a teacher clapped him out, it wouldn't even surprise me if he refused to go to school after something like this as he is a very anxious child. Personally, the teacher sounds like a knob, FYI to other posters, they do exist! I would raise merry hell over this to be honest, it is piss poor behaviour from the teacher.

Ashamed over a kid chatting in PE twice 🤣🤣

I'd roll my eyes and tell DS to not be a wally in future. But ashamed? Actual shame? Err no.

I hate these threads. They make me worry for my kids in school that people, and especially teachers find this acceptable.
The teacher is an adult in a responsible job and should not have acted like this. A child talking in pe class is hardly strange behaviour, and while he needed reprimanded, the punishment did not fit the crime by a long stretch.
That teacher is on a power trip.
At least one of my children would have been very badly affected by this. He was/is the quiet type who hated attention brought on him. Also autistic. I hope the teacher learns from this and it doesn’t set your son back too much.

Do OPs have to be multiple pages now for those who can’t read updates?

He sounds one of those horrible people who make himself look big by making someone else feel small. I bet he would not have done that to a student who would backchat to him. He sounds all round unprofessional.

When I was in primary school, we were smacked by the teacher. If I went home and told my parents, they smacked me for being naughty in school. (Ireland in the 1980s)
Not to condone smacking…just to say that my parents always took the school’s side.

From what the OP has subsequently described about this teacher, it sounds as though his behaviour is far worse than that of the OP's son.

HarrietPierce · Today 15:31
From what the OP has subsequently described about this teacher, it sounds as though his behaviour is far worse than that of the OP's son.

I was going to say similar - problem is with DS usually a polite helpful child is you'd have a resentful child who may or may not get more uncooperative from then on - whatever we said or did at home.

Younger ages DD would have been very upset and worried rest of year - though by end of their time at school they'd eye roll with the best of them.

They just saw two many times others getting away with shit so much worse than they'd ever do they got very jadded. Luckily outside of school and nearly everyone in school found them lovely polite and well mannered.

I don't see what you can do here though - yes not ideal behavior from teacher but honestly probaby best forgotten and qucikly moved on from - focus on telling him not to talk in class.

If you use humiliation as a tool, you’re cruel and incompetent.

40 years ago when I was in school this treatment of a student wouldn't fly.

Christ! 40 years ago when I was in school it would have been an incident that would have gone completely unremarked on, and which wouldn't have got people wibbling on about 'humiliation' as if he'd been made to stand in front of the class for half an hour with his trousers down and a bucket on his head. Poor bloody teachers I reckon; show that you're not a living saint for a few seconds and you have parents on your case about how their PITA little model student child is now going to gave lifelong anxiety issues from a bit of clapping.

Bumped into an old high school teacher of mine last week. Reminded him when he threw a tennis ball at my head because I was yakking in the back row and not paying attention. We had a good laugh. This was in the 90s and I’ve surprisingly managed to be quite successful with no long term trauma.

I believe this teacher uses his power to humiliate and bully as he has no skill set to deal with behaviour any other way. Hes not the only one, a lot of teachers do this.

If this were my daughter, & she openly admitted that she had twice ignored the rules about not talking, I would have to tell her that actions have consequences & if she doesn't want it to happen again, she needs to behave. Should the teacher have done it? Perhaps not. However having been into schools a few times to help out in classes, I also would not want their jobs - far too many kids are completely feral and I don't blame teachers for losing their sh1t sometimes. If my daughter was having her education disrupted regularly and repeatedly by other children talking when they shouldn't be & misbehaving in class, I would probably be supportive of the teacher taking action that may stamp out the behaviour for good, even if that made the child who was misbehaving uncomfortable and embarrassed for a few minutes. Will your son risk doing the same thing again? Hopefully not.