Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

There is a huge problem in this country with children showing no respect to teachers, problem kids causing huge disruption in class which affects the learning of other children. You hear about children punching teachers, swearing, teachers having no authority and only limited ability to manage problematic behaviour due to overly confrontational parents and teachers that often not having the right support from schools.

When people read an OP like this, unfortunately it is all of the above that comes to mind and so posters are quick to defend the teacher, even in cases where they may have gotten it wrong.

Given all of what you’ve written, I believe the teacher DID get it wrong and I would raise it with the school to ensure it doesn’t happen again. It’s entirely inappropriate to use humiliation to exert control, in the same way is inappropriate to use force.

Do you know how back in the day 1 single teacher was in charge of 45 kids or even 60, and they all behaved and learnt? Now with 28 kids and 5 support staff it's still chaos?
May be we should bring back a dunces hat and headteacher's office for cases like yours.

She should do that for sure so they can keep an eye on what goes on at home witb a parent like that, after that she should move her son to another school so other kids in his class finally get a chance to learn.

Your son is 13, still a decade away from having a fully functioning frontal cortex, he has years ahead of him of learning how to control impulses. The teacher is probably stressed, but it’s such an overreaction from some fairly innocuous behaviour from a teenager. We really seem to have no idea how to respectfully guide teenagers any more. The clapping really just shows the teacher is unable to regulate his own emotions adequately in that situation, it’s completely inappropriate.

Retired teacher.

A few points, in no particular order. No excuses really either.

• Young teacher. Hasn't learnt gravitas yet.

• He needs to behave/act in a more consistent and mature manner.

• Y9s are a pain. They've lost their childhood enthusiasm but not yet gained maturity and the realisation that their work and input will directly influence their future.

• I may have clapped/made a comment about a student leaving the class - but would not have encouraged the class to join in.

• In schools I've worked in just talking after a warning would not have ended up with a day in the cooler. So has something more serious actually happened - or was it a result of the teachers frustration at the rest of the class' behaviour and your son was the first to be seen chatting again?

• In many cases the rest of the class are relieved that the class clown/chatterer/disruptor has left the class. They can get on, the atmosphere gets back to what it should be. Learning can continue.

• As a teacher our response to something can be influenced by what happened 5 minutes ago, the last lesson etc. Shouldn't do, but it can.

From what I've read (not necessarily from what happened as nuances can get lost at every stage of the retelling. + those explaining retell it from their own viewpoint) this was not handled well.

However digging it up etc can make a bad situation worse, built in resentments etc.

This teacher sounds very inadequate, and strange.

I do hope you take this further. Teachers are not exempt from learning from mistakes and bettering themselves.

Do feel for your DS it was handled very badly. Shame he didnt think to style it out and take an equally sarcastic bow when the clapping started 🤣

Many young people do this. They are caught doing something and deflect, detract, its all.smoke and mirrors. I've come across some young people who use violence but they deflect because it works. Look.over there works.

The teacher was sarcastic after being shown the utmost disrespect. No wonder teachers are leaving in their droves.

Teach your son to behave

If a PE teacher thinks a bit of chatter inbetween dodgeball or whatever is the utmost disrespect then they probably should leave teaching tbf.

It's a shame that so many people seem to think that the way to teach good behaviour in children is to bully and humiliate them into submission. I think that's far more likely to lead to them becoming the kind of adults who can't wait for any opportunity to attempt to bully and humiliate others in return, as many posters on here have obligingly demonstrated.

Perhaps you should sue for damages? He must be traumatised 😔

It's a shame so many children have no respect for anyone and routinely disrupt the whole classes education.

Not this one though - he got a gold badge in July thank you very much

A child making a couple of comments to a friend in a p.e. lesson does not mean they 'have no respect for anyone and routinely disrupt the whole classes education'.

Instead of focussing on the clapping why not try and reframe this epsiode and focus on:

-DS putting himself in the teachers shoes to understand the teachers persective and what happened after he failed to adhere to the warning.

-Your DS is going to meet a wide variety of jerks in the big wide world of work. Consider this a learning point for him and instead of trying to protect his feelings, help him work out how to identify the sort of person who likes to humiliate others and encourage resilience and coping tactics.

Op was goaded into posting stuff like that after posters were jumping to the conclusion her DS must be an absolute wrong un who causes disruption constantly and has obviously caused this teacher to lose it after many previous issues.

Im actually convinced that a lot of posters are just sticking the boot in because they're bored and they dont even believe the bollocks that's dangling out their mouths 🙄

It does on MN. Hope none of them ever serve on a jury 🤣

Is it commonplace in British schools for lessons to take place in utter silence, with never a murmur or whisper from the kids? Whispering to a mate is not 'disrupting the whole class'. This Dickensian picture being painted of schools these days, I find a bit hard to swallow. I am old, but when I went to what at the time would have been considered a fairly strict school, the idea of detentions for talking in class would be a joke. The teacher would deal with the situation at the time. Only persistent bad behaviour would lead to detentions. I find it hard to believe things have changed that much. Especially when you read reports of teachers being threatened, attacked with knives, etc.

I would believe your son. Some of the replies on here are why we have a mental health crisis especially with young men. What is wrong with you all that you're doing quick to judge a young teenager and are almost gleeful that he was publicly humiliated.

OP - I would escalate to the head with a written complaint. That teacher is a bully and an immature man on a power trip.

If it happens again I would genuinely pull my kid from the school and move him.

I'm sorry this happened to him, must be awful for his self esteem.

This is absolutely spot on

No its really not common at all unless its Michaela school.

Neither is the alleged swathes of most excellently behaved angel children who allegedly get very upset and frustrated with their learning about the key life skill that is Handball being disrupted.

The more I read about Schools the more Im glad mine are older! I think this is unacceptable TBH.I would speak to School .On the Southern news, was a school on the IOW which keeps toilets locked. and only allows access at break for 15 mins.A brave young pupil stood up for her rights and spoke out .Many parents were too scared to! Schools seem to resemble prisons more and more nowadays .

I’d more focussing on my child’s behaviour at school. Then a teacher clapping.

Actually a fair number of schools and academy trusts have adopted a Michaela style approach. https://thelead.uk/rise-authoritarian-schools
"At schools at the Athena Learning Trust, children are sent to ‘reflection’ - two and a half hours in a silent hall - for transgressions including touching another child on the shoulder and dropping a pen. In the academic year 2021-22 alone, pupils spent a total of 19,235 hours there"

No they did not. And do you know how many kids were kept in line in the 50s and 60s? They were beaten. They were hit. My dad recalls with fear still (in his late 70s) one games teacher who liked any excuse to get out his modified punishment item. It was a bit of a rubber car tyre that was cut, and he would use it as a whip on little boys for often spurious or very minor infractions. He would brag that the tyre left a better mark on the kids bums and backs.

It did not lead to better behaviour. It was just sadism.

That's what you want to go back to?