Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

To those asking about the school's response about the teacher clapping, I haven't addressed this with them yet.
I didn't want to dive straight in with a complaint about the clapping until I'd first and foremost established what DS's behaviour was from the teachers POV.
By yesterday evening, the teacher had confirmed that DS was talking on 2 seperate occasions during PE whilst the teacher was talking to the class in between games. The teacher confirmed DS was issued a punishment of isolation and a 1 hour after school detention for talking a second time after already once being told to stop. The teacher has confirmed to me that DS was not displaying any other behaviour in the class, did not answer the teacher back, did not engage in any chat back, and left the hall immediately as soon as he was told to and did not challenge this. The teacher confirmed that this was an isolated incident and that he has not had to address DS's behaviour in any other class apart from yesterday. The teacher confirmed all of this specifically in response to my direct questions.
So I wanted to establish these facts directly from the teacher before discussing the clapping.
I obviously wasn't going to email him or the school in the late evening.
I wanted to wait until today during school working hours before continuing communication, out of courtesy. I am dealing with my school communication in a calm and measured way. There is no rush to report the clapping on the same day without establishing the facts from the teacher's side first.
So there is no need for for @Readyforslippers to be feeling so uptight about this.

Hard disagree. And not a teacher.
There's also many posters who are fed up up with tunnel visioned parents of poorly behaved children affecting their children's education, who ignore the fact that this 'low level disruption' is aggravating and annoying to everyone else hence the other pupils clapping.

"The kid needs to learn not to talk in class"

I cannot emphasise enough - and I have said this in my OP and within the thread - that I agree that DS should not have been talking in class whilst the teacher was talking. It was wrong, I have reinforced this to DS, and I have not and will not challenge the school for DS being sent out of class into isolation and given a 1 hour after-school detention for talking a secondtime after already being told to stop.

I work in the NHS and I’m always surprised at colleagues who don’t seem to like patients very much. In the same way, there is a contingent of teachers who really don’t seem to like children very much. It must make their jobs hard. I never speak about patients (whose behaviour can be challenging, threatening, rude and abusive etc) the way some teachers talk about students.

Oh dear. You’re one of those parents.

I would also be concerned about the teacher’s humiliating approach OP and think it is worth raising it - perhaps with the teacher himself first

I'm in the minority I know, but I agree the clapping was completely unnecessary. He'd been sent out to isolation and received a hour's detention - and accepted this consequence without further incident. If this behaviour from your ds was a regular occurrence then I'd understand the teacher's frustration more. But it was totally over the top, and yes humiliating, for what appears to have been a pretty isolated incident.

I would not bother repeating yourself. As ever, people are reading what they want. They are ignoring the fact that you supported a punishment for the talking.

You only have an issue with the mocking behaviour.

I would consider leaving it. Keep an eye on this teacher’s behaviour though as bullies rarely strike once. It is probably about the teacher’s insecurities. Although I remember speaking to a headteacher once and him saying that it is useful to have small things fed back because sometimes there could be a critical mass of relatively small things that highlighted a concern, rather than one major thing. So I don’t know really.

The thing is, that most teachers are fine and a good few are amazing. I am friends with some of my kids’ teachers now they have left school. They would be the first to condemn this clapping. And hate it reflecting badly on the profession.

I would 100% report the teacher’s behaviour.

And I would also always 100% believe my child over a stranger, unless my child had given me reason to doubt them in the past (which isn’t the case here).

A child talking or otherwise disturbing the class stops the others learning as well as themselves. It looks like the teacher deliberately humiliated your son. Good for him perhaps he will stop disrupting the class now. Teach your child not to speak in class.

So many teachers are total bullies. Imagine if this was an employee in the work place and HR received a report of the same nature. Not okay.

I presume you wouldn't constantly talk over your boss in meetings

I agree, I work in the justice system and criminals are treated better than teachers treat students - mainly because people pick children as easy targets to bully.

There's SO much worse than this that ges on in every work place and you know it. I'd it still stands, if someone did talk over my boss in the workplace they'd probably eventually interject but they'd never clap and have the whole team clap with them.

Of course low level disruption is annoying and disrupting and completely unfair! My son is an angel and has never been in trouble(hes only in yr2 mind) , Im fully aware throughout his time in education he will lose out as a result of the badly behaved BUT you cannot humiliate children (or adults) in that way to get your way, there are better more effective ways of dealing with bad behaviour. As a secondary teacher of 14 years (now working in a SEN school) i should know.

In that case the school must have very strict discipline rules, because isolation after being removed from class, I can understand, however, the detention after school seems extreme for just 2 incidents of talking over the teacher. Also, good on the school for supporting such measures, teaching is hard enough. Some kids (I didn’t say your kid) behaviour these days is awful, and some parents either don’t care or don’t believe their child could behave like that, or say it’s happened in school so school should deal with it and the child has no repercussions at home.

Now your son knows this and probably won’t disrupt that class again by talking over that teacher. Also, it doesn’t matter how many good points your son has, the fact is, he talked over the teacher when he should have been listening, twice, and he got punished, and by you also. Your issue is the teacher clapped, and I still agree, that was wrong of the teacher.

If I had been in a meeting at work and had been taking when my boss was speaking/giving a presentation, had been asked not to talk, and then did it again anyway, I would fully expect to be bollocked in front of everyone, because I would deserve it.

But then again, I wouldn’t do it, because I learnt some manners when I was young. Hopefully OP’s son will have learnt some too after this incident.

If there’s a psychologically safe culture in the workplace then challenge should be welcomed by leaders. A workplace that dances to the tune of one autocratic manager is deeply unhealthy and unproductive. If no one speaks up or offers an alternative opinion in the meetings you attend then you need to look closer to understand why.

Discourse should be respectful. Humiliation is Bullying and should ALWAYS be called out.

Hear hear

He didn't have any 'pride in disrupting the class'.
Have you read my updates?

Having read your update, it’s clear that this young, inexperienced teacher just isn’t doing a great job. He lacks professionalism and you would be doing him a favour by speaking to someone about him.

I wouldn’t over focus on the one incident; I’d use the other examples too of his behaviour at Parents’ Evening and general demeanour. Say you feel he isn’t modelling good behaviour to these young men. Contact either his Head of Year or his Head of Department - maybe put it in an email so you can keep it calm and factual.

Our young men and boys need to see calm, courteous behaviour not yobbish mockery. If I were his Team Leader I would be happy to take this with him.

OP, the teachers behaviour was nasty, juvenile and intended to humiliate your son.
Which it did.

In your place I would be emailing and asking for confirmation that what you have been told by your son and had confirmed by his friend to you happened.
Ask for a meeting to discuss where in school policy does it state that talking will result in the ritual humiliation of a pupil by the teacher involving the class.

The teachers behaviour was awful.
You are not wrong to be annoyed at this.
No way any decent professional normal adult teacher behaves like this.

No, not the wrong thread.
@Nothereforagoodtime has read my updates.
Do keep up.

Many years ago I considered teaching as a career, parents like you and your disruptive son make me glad I didn't go into teaching. If I were you I would accept that your son is disruptive and that you and your ds need to change your attitudes. What entitles you to complain? This is probably why pupils are disruptive because their mums can complain about their perfect sons.

Honestly your response is just reinforcing shit entitled behaviour

personally if that happened to my kid I’d be backing the teacher and telling them it’s consequences of shit behaviour

where as now your little prince will be boasting to friends how he got the teacher in trouble