Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

1000 replies

NotUsually · 17/09/2025 18:43

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

OP posts:
thecomedyofterrors · 18/09/2025 00:20

I’d complain about some of your updates on this teacher.

but your kid talking in class?! Disrupting other pupils education? My 6 year old was sent out of class a few times for talking and I gave the teacher chocolate and made him apologise.

NotUsually · 18/09/2025 00:21

ihavetocookagain · 17/09/2025 19:07

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.
Your son wasn’t listening and stopped the other child from listening, and possibly distracted others from being able to listen.
The fact your son got isolation and a detention indicates that this wasn’t an isolated incident. Schools rarely go from a warning to a isolation and a detention, unless there have been other incidents in other lessons.

The teacher shouldn’t have clapped or allowed the rest of the class to clap either, but it does sound like he was fed up with your son’s behaviour.

Absolutely wrong.
I have been emailed the school's newly revised behaviour policy this evening, at my request, and it absolutely does state that pupils will be issued a detention if they persist in doing something after the first warning.
It does state that isolation is for persistent behaviour. However the teacher has stated to me this evening by email that the behaviour was isolated to today's lesson only and that it was not persistent.
So sending him to isolation today was not in keeping with their policy.
Also, the policy states that if a detention is issued after 1pm then it has to be rolled over to the next day. But the teacher issued it after 1pm and sent him to detention on the same day. Another breach of the policy.

OP posts:
Nothereforagoodtime · 18/09/2025 00:23

terrafirma2025 · 18/09/2025 00:12

You're in the right. And anyone pretending that the teacher was in the right to indulge in the humiliation clapping ritual at this point is just trolling you.

I will step out of the thread now. Good luck.

Or they really believe it and I’m not sure which is worse. Perhaps they go hand-in-hand.

Cherrysherbet · 18/09/2025 00:49

He had to be told twice to stop talking. If he did as he was told this wouldn’t have happened.

Have you considered the other kids in the class that can’t listen to the teacher because your Son can’t behave?

I have no sympathy for him. Perhaps he will learn from this experience.

ThePinkPoster · 18/09/2025 01:01

Diddums 🙄

Beerpink · 18/09/2025 01:04

NotUsually · 18/09/2025 00:21

Absolutely wrong.
I have been emailed the school's newly revised behaviour policy this evening, at my request, and it absolutely does state that pupils will be issued a detention if they persist in doing something after the first warning.
It does state that isolation is for persistent behaviour. However the teacher has stated to me this evening by email that the behaviour was isolated to today's lesson only and that it was not persistent.
So sending him to isolation today was not in keeping with their policy.
Also, the policy states that if a detention is issued after 1pm then it has to be rolled over to the next day. But the teacher issued it after 1pm and sent him to detention on the same day. Another breach of the policy.

Initially I was on the side of the teacher until I read all of your updates- teacher definitely has a screw lose

ACynicalDad · 18/09/2025 01:04

FAFO your child (and you) need to focus on his behaviour. I don’t think this is the first time your child has been sent out.

Morningsleepin · 18/09/2025 01:05

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 17/09/2025 18:47

This teacher sounds like a laugh. A few years ago teachers were hitting kids, I'm sure yours can cope with applause.

You mean in the times of Oliver Twist. They were never allowed to hit kids in secondary school.

MrsSmiff · 18/09/2025 01:05

AI letter to school.

Here’s a draft a parent could send to the Head of Year or Headteacher — professional, firm, and framed around professional standards rather than just emotion:

Subject: Concern about classroom sanction

Dear [Headteacher/Head of Year],

I am writing to raise a concern about an incident that happened in [teacher’s name]’s lesson on [date] involving my son, [child’s name, Year 8/9/10 as relevant].

I want to begin by making clear that I fully accept that my son was talking when he should have been listening, and that it was right for the teacher to issue a sanction. I have spoken with him about this, and he understands that he was in the wrong.

My concern relates not to the sanction itself, but to the manner in which it was delivered. As my son gathered his belongings and left the room for isolation and detention, the teacher began clapping at him with their hands raised above their head, saying words to the effect of, “Well done, you’ve just got yourself an isolation and detention.” Other students then joined in clapping while my son walked out, and the teacher allowed this to continue.

My son has accepted his sanction, but he found the clapping and the reaction of the class humiliating. I am also concerned that this approach is not consistent with the requirement, under the Teachers’ Standards, for pupils to be treated with dignity and respect, nor with the spirit of the school’s behaviour policy.

I would be grateful for reassurance that this matter will be addressed, and that staff will be reminded of the importance of delivering sanctions in a way that maintains discipline without undermining a student’s dignity.

Thank you for your time and for your support.

Yours sincerely,
[Parent’s Name]

👉 This keeps the tone measured:

  • Acknowledges the child was in the wrong.
  • Focuses on professional standards.
  • Asks for reassurance, not punishment — which makes the complaint harder to dismiss.
Nothereforagoodtime · 18/09/2025 01:07

ACynicalDad · 18/09/2025 01:04

FAFO your child (and you) need to focus on his behaviour. I don’t think this is the first time your child has been sent out.

Hey CynicalDad, great advice, it turns out she’s already focused on his behaviour. She’s accessed the school portal and can see he has lots of merit points and no prior issues!

Nothereforagoodtime · 18/09/2025 01:08

Cherrysherbet · 18/09/2025 00:49

He had to be told twice to stop talking. If he did as he was told this wouldn’t have happened.

Have you considered the other kids in the class that can’t listen to the teacher because your Son can’t behave?

I have no sympathy for him. Perhaps he will learn from this experience.

It’s a great surprise that you have no sympathy for anyone.

Nothereforagoodtime · 18/09/2025 01:09

Morningsleepin · 18/09/2025 01:05

You mean in the times of Oliver Twist. They were never allowed to hit kids in secondary school.

They unfortunately did in the 80s and at infant and junior school too. Based on comments here we’re not so far from those days.

Cherrysherbet · 18/09/2025 01:14

Nothereforagoodtime · 18/09/2025 01:08

It’s a great surprise that you have no sympathy for anyone.

Edited

Your sentence makes no sense.

I do have sympathy for the teacher and for the kids that were there to learn.

Nothereforagoodtime · 18/09/2025 01:27

Cherrysherbet · 18/09/2025 01:14

Your sentence makes no sense.

I do have sympathy for the teacher and for the kids that were there to learn.

I’m sorry it made no sense to you.

Spideralert · 18/09/2025 01:31

YANBU. The clap was really off - even more so that he continued when the class joined in, rather than realising he’d taken it too far and should rein it in.

Mine are in primary, so the whole having every little misdemeanour and bit of praise recorded just sounds so ridiculously OTT, but I guess I’ve got all that to come.

coxesorangepippin · 18/09/2025 01:32

Your ds clearly needs to learn to behave

The teacher is right

Walkden · 18/09/2025 03:09

"It does state that isolation is for persistent behaviour"

If your child persisted talking after being warned in a lesson not to then that is persistent disruption/ behaviour.

I suspect your child is not being forthright either. It would be very unusual for a pupil to talk once then a second time and the teacher to comment on his choices.

I would suspect that he backchatted or attempted to argue with the teacher. Kids clapping isn't great but they do it on occasion if someone has disrupted their lesson or feel they have got their comeuppance. Normally staff would shut it down though

ForFlakyPeer · 18/09/2025 04:34

Honestly, OP, I think you’re overlooking the bigger picture. The clapping may not have even happened the way your son describes, and in a classroom full of students, if the entire class joined in, there would almost certainly be video evidence floating around by now. It’s also possible that your son exaggerated or that his “friend” backed up his version because that’s what some friends do or some people who are bullied do.

The school has already confirmed he was disruptive twice and received the appropriate punishment. Yet you describe him as shy, not outgoing, not disruptive, not rude, etc.—which completely contradicts the fact that he’s been disciplined more than once. That suggests you might be taking his word as gospel instead of facing the reality of his behavior. Kids know how to manipulate their parents’ emotions, and your son seems to have learned that well.

Even if the clapping did happen, it could have been the teacher—human like anyone else—losing patience after repeated disruption. Teachers have to manage entire classrooms, and many parents would be shocked if they saw how their “quiet” or “innocent” kids actually behave at school. If this really was a one-off moment, maybe it’s the life lesson your son needed to realize his actions affect others.

On the other hand, if the clapping didn’t happen and your son is fabricating or twisting events, that’s even more concerning because making false allegations against a teacher can have serious, lasting consequences for that teacher’s career.

At the end of the day, the focus should be less on the teacher’s supposed clapping and more on your son’s repeated behavior, his honesty, and his accountability. Giving him just a “stern warning” at home isn’t going to cut it when he’s already been in trouble more than once. The problem isn’t the school—it’s the lack of discipline at home and the excuses being made for him.

SweetnsourNZ · 18/09/2025 04:45

arethereanyleftatall · 17/09/2025 18:47

Wow. Either the teacher is absolutely awful, clapping is shocking, humiliating and utterly wrong. And getting everyone else to join in too? That’s shocking. But this doesn’t really match with what your ds did? So I assume this is the straw that broke the back?

Yeah. Think there is more to this. Maybe not just her son but maybe his friend group has been disruptive lately.

GarlicPint · 18/09/2025 04:50

MyDogHumpsThings · 17/09/2025 19:14

Social punishment is how we learn and evolved our behaviours as a species.

He was unprofessional for sure, but we learn valuable lessons from things like this.

I agree. It's evidently had more impact than the standard punishment alone. Point made, job done.

A few hours reading on your own is not a terrible thing at all; it's only a punishment in that it's supposed to make you feel ashamed. It quite often doesn't. Seems the sarcastic applause had the desired effect, though 👍

SweetnsourNZ · 18/09/2025 04:53

Silvertulips · 17/09/2025 19:15

The teacher may have clapped, I doubt she asked the others to join in, may be they were equally fed up of listening to your child instead of being able to learn - someone has to be the class clown.

You need to think about the other 30 kids in that class.

You also need to think about the work put into each lesson that can not be delivered when you have disruptive children.

You child should also be aware of your displeasure of this type of behavior.

You’ll be the first to complain when your kids isn’t picked for things, or misses out on opportunities, or fails exams.

Yes, does seem really weird that the other children just started clapping. You would think they would have been to scared to move if it was really that bad. Makes me think he wasn't just having a quiet word with his friend but was maybe making cheeky remarks and being disruptive. Pretty common at 13.

GarlicPint · 18/09/2025 05:09

NotUsually · 18/09/2025 00:21

Absolutely wrong.
I have been emailed the school's newly revised behaviour policy this evening, at my request, and it absolutely does state that pupils will be issued a detention if they persist in doing something after the first warning.
It does state that isolation is for persistent behaviour. However the teacher has stated to me this evening by email that the behaviour was isolated to today's lesson only and that it was not persistent.
So sending him to isolation today was not in keeping with their policy.
Also, the policy states that if a detention is issued after 1pm then it has to be rolled over to the next day. But the teacher issued it after 1pm and sent him to detention on the same day. Another breach of the policy.

I missed this.

It's only the start of a school year - if this teacher's already so stressed out that he's violating standard policy, god help his mental health by Christmas 😥

I still feel it's unwise to get on your warhorse over this, though, OP. In the broader scheme of things, it's been a valuable lesson for DS - albeit of a non-standard type. The lesson's from the school of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes". His pride was wounded: pride in disrupting a class should be punctured, right?

Readyforslippers · 18/09/2025 05:21

NotUsually · 18/09/2025 00:21

Absolutely wrong.
I have been emailed the school's newly revised behaviour policy this evening, at my request, and it absolutely does state that pupils will be issued a detention if they persist in doing something after the first warning.
It does state that isolation is for persistent behaviour. However the teacher has stated to me this evening by email that the behaviour was isolated to today's lesson only and that it was not persistent.
So sending him to isolation today was not in keeping with their policy.
Also, the policy states that if a detention is issued after 1pm then it has to be rolled over to the next day. But the teacher issued it after 1pm and sent him to detention on the same day. Another breach of the policy.

I've read all your comments, but can't yet see that you've asked the teacher about the 'clapping' aspect. You need to establish what happened fully before taking any further steps. Then, raise it with the Senior Leadership Team if you are unhappy with the response.

Also, your child was persistently misbehaving in the lesson as he repeatedly talked despite being told not to. This is therefore persistent. Don't look for outs for your son, he made a mistake and has been suitably given detention. This is separate to the clapping part.

SweetnsourNZ · 18/09/2025 05:41

GoBazGo · 17/09/2025 20:23

That’s not a reasonable analogy.
Teacher has approx. 30 other people to consider, support and manage.
Your boss dealing with you for not doing what your supposed to (after you’ve already been told what to do) by clapping is humiliating, but doing what you’re supposed to be doing at work is the whole point of being employed. And if your disruption and refusal to listen is effecting others ability to do their job (or learn) then it’s a you problem.

If you misbehaved at work you would eventually get fired. Then you would have the huliation of explaining that to your parents, partner, job centre, new potential employers. And if you crossed a professional body such as teachers council you can add having the judgement splashed across the media and the bodies website.

Marchitectmummy · 18/09/2025 05:45

Strange response from a teacher. Only you know your son and the teacher. Your description of the teacher I would be concerned about his influence over my children regardless. Who wants their child to be taught by someone with his manor at all.

Personally I would write to the head and if their response isn't acceptable escalate to the Governors, my concerns would be teachers general behaviour aroubd students he sounds inappropriate.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.