Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

Agreed. I’ve never known a school where a teacher can override procedures and put child in isolation AND detention for talking twice in 1 lesson. It’s likely he has other demerits/negatives/codes on his “record” which escalated it to this level. Could also be that he is often disruptive in this class and teacher is utterly fed up. “Good” kids get away with the odd disruptive behaviour such as talking, “disruptive” kids are usually cracked down on the moment the are disruptive, because they do it more often and it winds the teacher up.

Part of healthy coping is standing up for yourself and reporting misconduct/bullying being done to you by a figure of authority.

As he is a child, it is OP’s responsibility as his parent to role model how to do this so that he can do it for himself if he ever encounters a bullying boss in the future.

Oof. Sorry. He sounds beyond awful and far too immature to be teaching anyone anything.

He should return to McDonalds.

You can’t just make things up though. Where in the OP’s post has she suggested that any of what you have said is even possible true? Surely if you have never known a school where a teacher behaved like this the answer to the OP’s questions is “that’s terrible, YANBU” rather than pulling stuff like “Could also be that he is often disruptive in class” out of thin air!

What do you achieve by complaining? Another teacher feeling overwhelmed and stressed. I would just leave it. At the end of the day your child made the wrong choice twice and therefore received a punishment. When I was at school they specialised in humiliating punishments - like being made to stand during assembly if you talked, whilst everyone else sat down. I can’t imagine my parents would have ever complained, just told me off for talking!

I'm not sure that's the kind of "learning" I'd want for my son, as a teacher I understand how frustrating it can be in a disruptive environment but humiliating a student & getting the class to join in is a bit GoT "Shame!"

I'm obviously being facetious but it's not a good "lesson" for the OP's son & the other kids

Indeed. The lesson her son has learned from this is that some people with power will humiliate you for laughs. It is unfortunately true, but sad that a teacher should be the one to make this clear to her son.

I would raise this for sure. How immature! What was he trying to gain except encourage bullying and others to join and make fun of your son. How ridiculous! Typical of teachers when they forget their age and start trying to re live their own school days! They certainly have earnt the name ‘the students that never left school’

Nope

The teacher is the authority figure

The one tasked with the children's safety

The one most likely to be giving safety information rather than chatting crap with his mate

She also basically said "it's ok, it's just PE"

Anyone else find the lad saying complimentary things about the lesson to his mate a somewhat unbelievable statement from a teenage boy? It sounds over-elaborate, too much careful scene-setting. ‘I was wrong but the teacher was more wrong.’

I don’t buy it for a single second and as PP I agree he’s minimised his own behaviour with a bit of a fudge and has successfully managed to deflect your anger onto the teacher.

Be careful what you wish for when raising it with school. You might find out he’s not your shy little angel and they’re sick to the back teeth of his disruptive behaviour.

Public humiliation as a punishment is not productive or healthy. It happens all the time in secondary schools but it’s not okay. I’d definitely be speaking to the school.

Ok, so the teacher is the larger, lower hanging bollock. I can vibe with that asymmetry.

The teacher sounds like a fucking idiot. I’d tell my son ‘I’m not cross, the man sounds like a dickhead, next time he claps at anyone, I’m happy if you reply ‘Is that what your colleagues did in McDonalds Sir when you got another star on your badge for sweeping up French fries?’

I’m glad you emailed the school, he sounds like a bully.

"You’ll be the first to complain when your kids isn’t picked for things, or misses out on opportunities, or fails exams."
Oh but my DS does get picked for things.
He was picked by the senior management team at school to be a tour guide to show 2 groups of prospective parents around the school just last week. I was told by his tutor that he was picked as one of the student tour guides because both his behaviour at school and his attitude towards learning are excellent and he that he represents the school in a positive light. Feedback I received afterwards was that he did an excellent job and he was thanked in person by the Head teacher.
So I won't be the first to complain about him not being picked for things.
And as for his level of disruption, please read my update about the PE setting.

He will sit quietly in that class from now on, as will all the other students. Result.

Isolation for the rest of the school day and an hours after school detention for talking twice?? That would have been me punished multiple times a day, seems a bit extreme. I’d have said sent out the lesson for 5/10 minutes at most, but maybe that’s no longer an option in schools?

However, I don’t have a major issue with the clapping thing - it wasn’t nice and I get him feeling embarrassed but it isn’t a huge deal worth kicking up a fuss over.

so he was in isolation today and had a friend round tonight ? Sounds like part of your issues are your parenting skills so maybe have a look inside? Why did you reward his bad behaviour with having a friend over ?

I already said early he shouldn’t have clapped. Having worked in schools I have never known a teacher to be able to override the procedures and implement a punishment such as isolation and detention for only 2 incidents of talking in one class.

I'm so glad my DS has now left school. I seriously think a lot of teachers are not cut out to be teachers. The good ones stand out and kids respect them and behave. The rest, well, they just seem to be lost. I've sat on many a parents evening and it's clear which ones really care and have the patience to nurture the kids. The others are almost hysterical and at the end of their tether and not coping.
Any teacher that claps a child out of the classroom is clearly not coping well.

Give over. It doesn't say the Teacher "got everyone else to join in"..... They chose to. I'd guess they probably joined in because they're fed up with trying to listen and learn stuff and OP's Son is disrupting their learning by chatting and talking.

I still remember my inner sign of relief when distruptive kids got sent out of class, because I knew it would make it easier for the rest of us. I bet some of them were relieved and that's why they clapped. Why should one kid not toeing the line hinder the learning of another 30?

If he now realises his peers are happy to clap him being made an example of maybe he'll start making an effort not to be disruptive.

That's the policy at my kid's school. Has been for at least 5 years. One warning, name on the board, and if the teacher has to reprimand you again it's straight to exclusion room for the rest of the day. I agree it seems harsh but the disruption at school is very low as a result.

Boo hoo 🙄. Sounds like the teacher and his classmates were all happy to see the back of him. He should reflect on that.

@NotUsually what did the teacher say when you asked about the clapping?

Really.
Then how come he was awarded a gold badge in an award assembly in July for being in the top band of pupils with the highest number of achievement points in his year.
And how come, if his behaviour is as bad as you imagine, that he has never received a detention before today, in over 2 years of being at the school. You think they've endured 2 years of terrible behaviour from him before issuing him his first ever detention?
It wasn't DS who told me what he was saying to his friend in the PE lesson. It was his friend who told me this evening whilst at our house.
Imagine going through life getting things as wrong as you do.