Page 12 | Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

edwinbear · 17/09/2025 21:50

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 21:43

I’m 55 and still remember a teacher humiliating me at around age 12. It made me feel there was something intrinsically wrong and shameful about me that I’d deserve a teacher leading my fellow students in doing something like that.

Whereas I remember being humiliated by a teacher aged about 5, because I freaked out about a worm on my (warm) bottle of free school milk (yes I’m that old). It’s really not traumatised me. I’ve never felt there is anything ‘intrinsically wrong’ with me because a teacher embarrassed me as a kid. Thankfully.

Whatado · 17/09/2025 21:50

MrMucker · 17/09/2025 21:30

Yep. that parent.
The one who mysteriously decides to complain after their kid has been reprimanded for doing something wrong.
Teachers leave the profession because of this.
Stop complaining and parent your child into not disrupting the learning of 29 other children and the evening planning of a professional adult.

A teacher who behaves like that is not a professional.

If I behaved like that as a manager of adults in a professional work environment it would be seen as a bullying.

Im sure if the OP dug out the policies on behaviour, ethos and engaging with staff and pupils their would be some wordy waffle about creating an environment that allows children to develop their self esteem.

In fact I just checked ours and intentional acts intended humiliate are listed as examples of bullying behaviour.

So if this happened in my childs school the teacher would be an unprofessional hypocritic.

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 21:51

User21548967 · 17/09/2025 21:47

I'm also in my 50s and remember being humiliated in secondary school. It has stayed with me to this day.

The teacher in question was incapable of controlling both his temper and emotions which combined with a huge ego meant he was dangerous. He ended up being 'transferred' to another school and then moving abroad.

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Same, I wasn’t actually misbehaving at the time, just the teacher joining in with the bullying. I’m sorry you remember the feeling too, it stays with you. I wonder about people these days, compassion is zero.

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 17/09/2025 21:52

anotherside · 17/09/2025 21:49

Try harder with your reading comprehension.

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Your post Remains basic, and obvious

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 21:52

edwinbear · 17/09/2025 21:50

Whereas I remember being humiliated by a teacher aged about 5, because I freaked out about a worm on my (warm) bottle of free school milk (yes I’m that old). It’s really not traumatised me. I’ve never felt there is anything ‘intrinsically wrong’ with me because a teacher embarrassed me as a kid. Thankfully.

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Thats great, I’m glad you’re better than me, I guess?

SallySuperTrooper · 17/09/2025 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oh what a personal attack! How emotionally detrimental of you! Damaged for life! How dare you question my ego!!

bittertwisted · 17/09/2025 21:52

Coconutter24 · 17/09/2025 18:46

But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

Surely that was the point, to humiliate him? He might think twice about ignoring the teacher next time

Yuck
who wants to punish and humiliate a person of any age

it’s cowardly bullying

Gallopingfanjo · 17/09/2025 21:53

NotUsually · 17/09/2025 19:43

No, he was completely mortified. He isn't an 'acting up to the crowd' type of character. He's very much the opposite of that. He's shy. Hates having attention on him. Would rather go under the radar un-noticed than draw any attention to himself. His friend (who's been round this eve) has told me DS went bright red, looked upset, hung his head and walked out silently.
I've had dialogue with the school. Teacher has confirmed he was punished for talking. Nothing else.

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Except he won’t shut up when told to. Not THAT quiet

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 21:53

Whatado · 17/09/2025 21:50

A teacher who behaves like that is not a professional.

If I behaved like that as a manager of adults in a professional work environment it would be seen as a bullying.

Im sure if the OP dug out the policies on behaviour, ethos and engaging with staff and pupils their would be some wordy waffle about creating an environment that allows children to develop their self esteem.

In fact I just checked ours and intentional acts intended humiliate are listed as examples of bullying behaviour.

So if this happened in my childs school the teacher would be an unprofessional hypocritic.

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All of this!

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 21:54

Gallopingfanjo · 17/09/2025 21:53

Except he won’t shut up when told to. Not THAT quiet

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And so he deserves any level of punishment or humiliation? Fucking hell.

SummerFeverVenice · 17/09/2025 21:54

SpiceDad · 17/09/2025 21:42

The teacher was probably completed fed up by by your son's behaviour. Focus on your son. If you complain to the school this will embolden your son to think his behaviour has been ok.

I disagree. Primary age and older children understand what is an excessive or even cruel punishment for any misbehaviour on their part. They have a sense of what is just and unjust. OP doesn’t have to be complicit in the teacher’s bullying and public humiliation of her son in order for her son to understand his behaviour was not ok.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 17/09/2025 21:54

I agree with you, the clapping was humiliating and unnecessary.

I probably wouldn’t complain but would want to. If I did email I would email in a feedback way and would keep an eye on things. If your DC is usually well behaved there shouldn’t be any other issues. I assume this is a new teacher as it is the beginning of the new year and this may be their “style”- if they do this regularly other parents will also complain.

Gallopingfanjo · 17/09/2025 21:55

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 21:54

And so he deserves any level of punishment or humiliation? Fucking hell.

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No I didn’t say that, but OP’s description of her DS and his behaviour don’t add up.

bombastix · 17/09/2025 21:56

Looks to me less like humiliation and more like the crushing realisation you have been stupid, OP. Hope your son learns from it - yes feeling stupid and having it rubbed in by your teacher and peers is not nice. But it’s not something you should complain about imo

Original poster

NotUsually · 17/09/2025 21:56

Blushingm · 17/09/2025 20:05

He obviously is an acting up to the crowd kid and definitely not shy, if he’s been asked to leave so many lessons……he obviously doesn’t care about the consequences and he will be used to the cried witnessing it when he’s thrown out of class…..yet again

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Oh my God, what on EARTH are you talking about?
He hasn't been asked to leave so many lessons!
He has NEVER been asked to leave a lesson before! Literally never, in 3 years of being at this school!
Where in my post did you get this from?

OP posts:

opencecilgee · 17/09/2025 21:56

jeez louise

big fat nothing

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 17/09/2025 21:57

@NotUsually is right it was inappropriate of the teacher, to sarcastically clap Not the demeanour or response one would expect from a teacher

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 21:57

Gallopingfanjo · 17/09/2025 21:55

No I didn’t say that, but OP’s description of her DS and his behaviour don’t add up.

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Do you think that there is behaviour that would make this response by the teacher reasonable? I think OP’s story sounds reasonable though.

NotToday1l · 17/09/2025 21:59

NotUsually · 17/09/2025 18:43

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

Does he have a history of being disruptive in school or even out of it?

Lotsnlotsoflove · 17/09/2025 21:59

There are two issues here:

First, it seems like a massive overreaction to send a student to isolation for talking twice in one lesson, so either your son is underreporting the severity of the incident (yes perhaps it was talking, but was it done in a way to belittle or undermine the teacher, or otherwise provoke? What was being said and was it more disruptive than simply talking?) or the teacher is a massive bully who gives disproportionate punishments. I would suggest digging to find out what has gone on here, and ask to see the school's policy on isolation, because if they are isolating every student who talks out of turn, that's going to be a lot of isolations - which is not great for anyone.

The second is the clapping. Again if this is as your son reported, it is pathetic bullying on behalf of the teacher and so you need to find out if you have the full story. If you do, and it is correct, I'd make a formal complaint, because it is not on.

If it turns out son is exaggerating or downplaying what happened to get you to take his side, then you need to be firmer with him. Bottom line: teachers are not infallible but even the best raised adolescents tell lies and half truths to serve themselves - find out which before reacting.

EsmeSusanOgg · 17/09/2025 22:00

NotUsually · 17/09/2025 21:47

I have to dispute the "disrupting the class repeatedly".
I mean, it was a PE lesson.
They were in the gym hall.
They'd been running around playing a ball game then re-grouped whilst the teacher talked about what game they were going to play next.
Whilst teacher was talking, DS was stood right at the back of the hall with a friend. They were all stood around the hall in different areas. DS spoke to say something to his friend. The teacher was talking in a loud voice. DS was talking in a quiet voice. He said to his friend "I really like this game it's good fun, I hope I get a go in the position I did last time". He got a warning for not listening.
They played the next game then re-grouped for the teacher to talk to them again.
This time the kids stood staggered around the hall. DS was standing on his own with the same friend. No other kids were stood next to them, meaning no other kids could hear DS talking to his friend in a very quiet voice.
DS said to his friend "shall we go in the same team again" whilst the teacher was talking.
Teacher escalated things because DS was talking whilst the teacher was talking, and for a second time after having previously been told not to talk.
He should not have been talking whilst the teacher was talking.
But he was not disrupting the class repeatedly.
He spoke twice in a PE hall during games intervals whilst other students were stood around the hall.

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The teacher was utterly OTT. Asking him to step out of he cannot stop talking would be one thing .. isolation, detention, ritual humiliation.

I wish I were surprised that it was a PE teacher too.. I only ever had one good PE teacher (Mrs Randall, she was genuinely awesome. She just wanted everyone to do their best and have fun) all through high school. They seemed to delight in picking favourites, creating cliques, and bullying. One games mistress would find any excuse to bully me. She never forgave me for putting a friend before school in a year 9 competition. She had forced me to run a cross-country race on a weekend (despite not being able to afford running spikes, and not wanting to do it - I was the fifth person in our year group. Three actively wanted to be there. Two of us just happened to be ok runners and were ordered to go). During the race I spotted a friend from guides who was in another school having an asthma attack, I stopped, waited for her to get first aid, and we walked to the finish line together joint last. Everyone else thought it was a good show of sportsmanship - she said I was wrong to not put the school's standing in the competition first. This same teacher used to share ciggies with the popular crew in her car on lunch breaks. She made my life hell. I remember her cruelty decades later.

bittertwisted · 17/09/2025 22:00

SallySuperTrooper · 17/09/2025 21:47

What were you doing against school rules? Although please remember as the pupil, whatever you did, you're an abused victim, who should be encouraged to SUUEE!

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It is nothing to do with him being a teacher, he’s just a sad little person who thinks ritual and group humiliation is fun

her DS was wrong, he got his punishment, the rest is really pitiful, and actually demotes any authority the teacher has. I feel absolute embarrassment for anyone who thinks his behaviour was acceptable

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 22:00

NotUsually · 17/09/2025 21:56

Oh my God, what on EARTH are you talking about?
He hasn't been asked to leave so many lessons!
He has NEVER been asked to leave a lesson before! Literally never, in 3 years of being at this school!
Where in my post did you get this from?

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They didn’t. They’re making it up to rile you. I’ve already had a post deleted here for responding in kind however so will bow out. It is mildly amusing that the people telling you that your son deserved this and is too sensitive are reporting robust responses to their posts 😊

I hope your son is OK, it’s not OK to humiliate people, particularly in a power differential relationship like this.

Gallopingfanjo · 17/09/2025 22:00

Nothereforagoodtime · 17/09/2025 21:57

Do you think that there is behaviour that would make this response by the teacher reasonable? I think OP’s story sounds reasonable though.

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To be honest crowd control, you do what you can. DS was a dick, the teacher was too, that’s life, don’t be a dick.

Louisagrace · 17/09/2025 22:01

NotUsually · 17/09/2025 21:47

I have to dispute the "disrupting the class repeatedly".
I mean, it was a PE lesson.
They were in the gym hall.
They'd been running around playing a ball game then re-grouped whilst the teacher talked about what game they were going to play next.
Whilst teacher was talking, DS was stood right at the back of the hall with a friend. They were all stood around the hall in different areas. DS spoke to say something to his friend. The teacher was talking in a loud voice. DS was talking in a quiet voice. He said to his friend "I really like this game it's good fun, I hope I get a go in the position I did last time". He got a warning for not listening.
They played the next game then re-grouped for the teacher to talk to them again.
This time the kids stood staggered around the hall. DS was standing on his own with the same friend. No other kids were stood next to them, meaning no other kids could hear DS talking to his friend in a very quiet voice.
DS said to his friend "shall we go in the same team again" whilst the teacher was talking.
Teacher escalated things because DS was talking whilst the teacher was talking, and for a second time after having previously been told not to talk.
He should not have been talking whilst the teacher was talking.
But he was not disrupting the class repeatedly.
He spoke twice in a PE hall during games intervals whilst other students were stood around the hall.

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A PE lesson, then the teacher was being even more unreasonable! A ball game wasn't going to be horribly disrupted by a kid making a couple of comments to his friend. And if the teacher was that worried about disruption then he wouldn't have made a big production of clapping and encouraging the pupils to join in anyway. Giving him isolation and detention for that was also very over the top imo. For a parenting site so many people on here seen to hate children, some really nasty comments on this thread.