Teacher conduct - clapping at DS

[NotUsually]

DS 13 got sent out of class today for talking to another student (friend) and not paying attention when he should have been.
He got a warning first.
He talked again to the same student a second time about 10 minutes later.
For this, he got sent out of the room to go in to isolation for the rest of the school day, followed by an hour after school detention.

As he got his stuff together and walked out of the room, the teacher started clapping at him. He said to DS "Well done you just got yourself an isolation and a detention" then clapped with his hands raised up above his head and carried on clapping at DS as he walked through the room and out of the door. Whilst the teacher was clapping, the other students joined in and started clapping too, and the teacher allowed this and carried on himself.

I've had dialogue with the school to confirm that DS was talking and to check whether he was doing anything more than this, and the teacher has confirmed that he was punished for talking when he should have been listening to the teacher, on 2 separate occasions in the lesson. Nothing more.

I accept that talking when he shouldn't have been talking and that this has received a punishment of being sent out, sent to isolation and given a 1 hour detention. But I've got a really big issue with the clapping. DS accepts he shouldn't have been talking and has aplogised about this and seems regretful for his actions. But he says the clapping from the teacher and other students whilst he walked through them all to leave the room made him feel humiliated and I've taken issue with this.

AIBU?

Well in a workplace if a staff member disrespected their boss/manager twice in 10 minutes they’d likely be fired (or expelled if we’re trying to build an analogy). Are you suggesting that should happen here? Or perhaps adult-adult and teacher-student relationships are somewhat different?

Sometimes in life, embarrassing things happen to you. Resilience develops when you learn to cope with these sorts of incidents (regardless of whether they’re ’fair’ or not) and you deal with it, and move on. This is a really minor event in the grand scheme of things. OP you’d do far better to teach your son that maybe it wasn’t ideal by the teacher, who could have handled things a bit better, but none of this would have happened if he wasn’t dicking about.

So he should learn from that and think twice before he dicks about in class again. And hope if he ever makes a minor error of judgment in a school/work environment, he doesn’t come across an anxious mum prepared to throw him under a bus because of it.

Please don't complain.

Teachers have enough on their plates right now without having to deal with petty complaints.

The PP that said teachers leave the profession over stuff like this is absolutely correct. We need to retain teachers, not lose another one.

Well it does happen, and fuck all is ever done about it.

I guarantee you that many of the people in this thread whining about this poor boy being clapped at are routinely being rude in the workplace to their coworkers.

You need to find out from the teacher about the clapping. I teach and this would not be acceptable in the school I work in.

I also can't understand why the teacher would react that way to your DS. I can understand a teacher who is so frustrated at the class clown who continually disrupts by shouting out inappropriate things in order to get laughs from others reacting that way, but still wouldn't make teacher's reaction OK.

He shouldn’t be talking but the clapping is childish. I guess the teacher got frustrated.

Completely agree.

And I think I'd have said the same to my son. Yeah, teacher probably could have behaved better but he's human and ultimately, it's your fault. Don't dick about and it won't happen.

The teacher sounds like a total arsehole. I find the hour long detention and isolation really excessive for talking too.

No you can't guarantee that.
You are making wild guesses at most.

And if they are being routinely rude, it might not be intentional which this teacher most definitely was being.

Of course pupil - teacher dynamic Is different to adult peers at work
The Power imbalance,the professional demands & expectations on the teacher. Expectation teacher remain composed

I’m one of the ones who left. Daily I get calls from agencies asking if I’m looking for work. I’m not.

I actually prefer teachers with a mite of personality. If today’s 13 year olds are really that sensitive that they’re getting traumatised/“humiliated” by a moment of exasperated sarcasm by a teacher in response to repeated rude behaviours, you do have to fear a bit for the emotional resilience of the next generations!

Yuck.

He had already been given a punishment for talking. Thay was fair enough, especially as he did it twice.
In my opinion the clapping was totally unnecessary and if that had happened to my kids at school I wouldn't be happy.

I’m sure you’re getting an absolutely brutal pile on here OP, but I 100% agree that the punishment was pretty stiff, but that aside, humiliating him was really inappropriate behavior. I don’t think I would want to be back in that class again if I was your son. Sorry this happened and sorry about the pasting I’m sure you’re getting from the perfect parenting crew that love to take people apart.

No wonder there are so many badly behaved adults when children are supported in bad behaviour.

Detention means very little to most young people unless it is reinforced at home. When you focus on the teacher's behaviour you encourage your son to think he can get only minor punishment for disruptive behaviour. He was affecting the learning of every child in that class and if feeling humiliated stops him being an ass again it will have worked. Mummy rushing in to defend him encourages him to go on being a brat.

Honestly it’s not great on behalf of the teacher. But I’ve been at the end of my tether this week with constant chatting. It’s one of those things that seem tiny but has a massive impact on others’ learning. I can’t put my hand on my heart and say if it continues I wouldn’t make a regrettable judgement call too. We’re only human and sometimes do make mistakes.

Perhaps it’s an exceptionally punitive school, they do exist. However, having worked in four large high schools, the isolation rooms don’t have capacity for low-level disruptive, shy kids who blend into the wallpaper.

I don’t think it does any disservice to not publicly humiliate a child.

I agree children should not be treated like adults. The punishments for children should be milder compared to an adult in light of their youth and immaturity. When was the last time an adult at University was given a detention and put into isolation for taking 10secs to make a comment to a colleague?

Humiliation was not a proportionate punishment on top of isolation AND after school detention. Ridiculous.

A moment of exasperation would be a quick comment not leading the whole class in sarcastic clapping.

I’m guessing there’s a whole generation of teenagers with parents like you that are indeed a whole less sensitive to anyone else’s wellbeing.

It’s your main problem here.

@User21548967 No you can't guarantee that. You are making wild guesses at most.

20 - 35% of employees have experienced bullying in the workplace. Bullying is generally top-down, and mumsnet has a disproportionately high number of people who have direct reports and who are responsible for managing teams in the workplace. So some people in this thread will be bullies.

It's not a wild guess. It's called data and statistics.

Exactly. We are stricter on children than ourselves and our peers. Sending out / separating from his friend was more appropriate. The rest was not.

The teacher was probably completed fed up by by your son's behaviour. Focus on your son. If you complain to the school this will embolden your son to think his behaviour has been ok.