Day of Dad’s funeral; Council demand Mum sell her house day after

[Supersimkin7]

Buried Dad Tuesday.

Mum, 88, Parkinson’s, lost her DH of 60
years. She’s shaking with terror today.

I had hoped Social Services would give Mum 24 hours after her husband’s funeral before calling and demanding she sell her house and be moved to a care home asap, house money to be controlled by council, but it was not to be.

SS want permission from her DC (me and DB) to move her asap - we’ve got a month left of private carers. Mum & Dad have spent £650k of their and our money on care. DM is horribly, painfully disabled and needs 24hr care. There’s £0 left.

I told the social worker before funeral that we wanted DM at home for a while before any more major life changes, in case the shock kills her.

SS know Dad died. They know his will is wrongly written and we can’t do equity release as a result.

SS know we can’t pay for more private care, and that they’ll have to fork out for a couple of months respite care with round the clock carers if she at home.

But they rang DB the morning after the funeral to say they wouldn’t provide any care beyond a toilet break once every eight hours.

DM ran a charity for our part of London for 40 years. She worked tirelessly for locals and newcomers alike for a tiny salary. As net contributors to society go, she’s right up
there.

We all know councils lick their lips at the prospect of getting the cash from a London house.

But AIBU - are these social workers being cruel, greedy and dangerous?

Hey OP, I have sent you a PM

OP, just spotted this in your OP

SS know Dad died. They know his will is wrongly written and we can’t do equity release as a result.

Curious about this, does your dads will form a trust? in which case seek advice from a solicitor - it may be the council are not able to use the value of the house unless you sell it. If they can't offer a DPA because of the will, it may be that selling the house is not in your or your DMs interest. Legal advice essential.

Yea, I know what that is. I work in a LA.

I was responding to someone claiming that LA’s recouping care fees for people with savings and assets over the threshold are ‘vultures’.

Health care funding is available to all at point of use.

Social services care is only available to those who are below thresholds - tgat includes all peopld, not just pensioners.

OP if no one has done one it’s worth asking about assessment for Continuing Healthcare - if your mum qualifies for it all her care needs including social care needs will be paid for by the local ICB.

Fair enough, quite agree with your sentiment.

Can you apply for NHS continuing health care funding?

A solicitor to do what? Complain that someone whose job is to try to expedite the care of a severely disabled recently widowed elderly woman made a phone call on a day that happened to be when the husband was being buried? The likelihood is that the person making the call wouldn’t have known about the funeral, their focus is on the person needing urgent care.

The social worker did know it was Dad’s funeral that day. We told her in advance, while I was begging her for more time so two shocks close together don’t kill DM.

Not quite the full story, social service funded care is also available to those that the LA have an ongoing mandatory responsibility for, which can include those who have resources but whose care costs are the LA responsibility - like those who receive Section 117 Mental Health Act funding. I know this is a nuance, and I don't mean to be pedantic, but in a discussion about elderly people and capacity and LA funding, it might be a helpful correction for someone else reading this thread.

Capacity - even when officially removed by the Court of Protection - remains decision specific, and the Care Act still applies...

There is something in the will that is preventing the LA offering a DPA, this means the will may have a protective effect that could be destroyed if the property is sold.

It would be useful if the OP could expand on that point. All I can think is that the will forms a trust.

Can you expand on how the will is preventing a DPA, this may be critical.

Op how long is it since your Dad died?

In some parts of the UK funerals are held sooner than others.

S117 aftercare only applies if someone has been detained on a section 3 and that care only applies to care pertaining to the mental health condition tgat caused the section.

I work in adult mental health.

At least until the day after the bloody funeral!

Has she had a CHC assessment? If not do push for one as it would mean nhs pays for her care.

OP, sorry to bang the will drum, but its important, because if a share of the house goes elsewhere other than directly to your mum (joint tenancy) this would prevent a DPA (equity release), but it also means you can quite legitimately tell the council to wait patiently.

Assuming that your dads estate still holds an interest in the house, then the estate must go through probate and administration before anything can be done, both the trust regulation agency and HMRC regard 2 years to be the reasonable timeframe for an executor to wind up and distribute an estate with 6 months given for IHT to be paid (or at least a downpayment) - so if your fathers estate has any involvement, and this will be the case unless the property was held as joint tenants, they will have to be patient, and the executor can, within reason, not be rushed.

I suspect the SS are attempting to rush you into something in their interests - but make sure you take your time, they cannot rush you.

Bear in mind if your DM goes into care there is a mandatory 12 week (3 months) disregard, meaning SS pay for that 12 weeks whilst things start to get sorted, no rush!

Bear in mind too that Social Services have no powers to make you sell the home, they can, if the matter is not being dealt with go to court to obtain the right to force your hand - but that all takes time, and they will be loath to do that.

Take a deep breath, seek legal advice and go back to SS with a plan based on the outcome of that - if they ask again just say its in the hands of the executors or solicitors and you will be in touch as soon as practical.

And in the meantime what happens to mum when the funding for private care runs out ?

Couldn't agree more.

A lot of posters have said get legal advice. That's what you need to do. Mumsnet is not the place for resolving this issue.

The problem is, and has always been how you determine if they can afford to pay for it themselves. Means testing is a race to the bottom. The thresholds are set so that people in real need can lose out on what they need just by being a few pence over the thresholds.

There is a legal 12 week disregard on care costs, social services have the capacity to deal with placing her, covering costs for that 12 weeks whist a plan is formulated.

Its not irrelevant, this country does not treat the elderly right by doing this. Heartless.