Day of Dad’s funeral; Council demand Mum sell her house day after

[Supersimkin7]

Buried Dad Tuesday.

Mum, 88, Parkinson’s, lost her DH of 60
years. She’s shaking with terror today.

I had hoped Social Services would give Mum 24 hours after her husband’s funeral before calling and demanding she sell her house and be moved to a care home asap, house money to be controlled by council, but it was not to be.

SS want permission from her DC (me and DB) to move her asap - we’ve got a month left of private carers. Mum & Dad have spent £650k of their and our money on care. DM is horribly, painfully disabled and needs 24hr care. There’s £0 left.

I told the social worker before funeral that we wanted DM at home for a while before any more major life changes, in case the shock kills her.

SS know Dad died. They know his will is wrongly written and we can’t do equity release as a result.

SS know we can’t pay for more private care, and that they’ll have to fork out for a couple of months respite care with round the clock carers if she at home.

But they rang DB the morning after the funeral to say they wouldn’t provide any care beyond a toilet break once every eight hours.

DM ran a charity for our part of London for 40 years. She worked tirelessly for locals and newcomers alike for a tiny salary. As net contributors to society go, she’s right up
there.

We all know councils lick their lips at the prospect of getting the cash from a London house.

But AIBU - are these social workers being cruel, greedy and dangerous?

Well then no one on here can help you, and frankly, you are wasting everyone's time, there's a lot of knowledge on here and a lot of people who could point you in the right direction. - if you take the same attitude with SS no wonder they are not being helpful.

I think it's poor form of them to be doing this just after her husbands funeral, they could have been more compassionate. However the money for your DM's care does need to come from somewhere, sale of assets is the usual way forward. Is there any chance that the house could be sold and somewhere cheaper brought for her and the rest of the money used for her care so you can ensure the money goes toward a good standard of care? Perhaps with her living temporarily with you or another family member whilst it sells?

My mum was hounded... Disgusting!
People like you just spout rhetoric!

I think with the last post the OP has made it obvious that she was coming here to vent and not actually interested in any advice

Who is this in response to

YABU. You obviously can’t sell a house in a day. What they’re actually saying is she needs to move into a care home immediately, presumably with the house sold as soon as practicable to pay the costs (which may be a number of months).

And I’m afraid if they’re the ones providing the care, they of course have the right to say where that care is provided, in this case one of their care homes.

Finally, for you to accuse the council of wanting to get their hands on a London home, is very self-centred. Everyone else could turn that around and say you want to keep your grubby hands on your inheritance and have the rest of us pick up the bill.

None of you are in a good place right now , I’m so sorry for the loss of your father .
I think if there is a care home place for your mother , then the house will need to be sold to fund that care .
That doesn’t have to be done now , they can defer the payment.
I had to arrange to sell my mum’s flat to cover the cost of the care home she’s in , but there were some savings available in her account to cover the costs to begin with .

Reported for troll hunting

Oh piss off, go on report that too

Maybe I'm a troll!!!!

So your dad has paid £650k for his care and you’ve also contributed too, as you state your dad’s money and yours too?

When my DM health deteriorated and could no longer cope at home alone it was recommended that she would need to go and live in a care home.
She had some savings about 3 months to pay herself from savings then they then went below the threshold so didn't have to pay anymore.
Obviously they take the house into consideration but we didn't have to sell it we had deferred payment scheme with the council that they pay it until it is sold or until mum passes away we have the choice and then we pay them back with 4% interest.
She has been in the home for a year now and we still haven't bothered selling the house yet as there is no hurry.

How rude.

She has enough assets to be self-funding, so she is not the Council’s responsibility until har assets fall below a certain level. However, many councils will give a breathing space before taking the property into account. The social workers are not the bad guys here, they are operating a chronically underfunded service within a legal framework. Their job is next to impossible. I suggest you talk to Age UK who have expertise in this area. Your poor Mum, I hope she is kept feeling safe.

S117 aftercare is in place once a person is discharged from a section 3 and remains in place as long as there is a need relating to the reason they were detained. S117 aftercare doesn't just include social care services, though.

OP you need to get independent advice, age UK are a good place to start. Some solicitors offer one off free consultations if you haven't already got one involved.

Can you apply for CHC for her? I agree that it’s insensitive after your parents have already funded 650k of care, I suppose they are just doing their jobs but its awful to think of your poor mum having to leave her home.

You seem to be very confused, or are just making stuff up. The minute a person has been under Section 3, even for one day, Section 117 aftercare kicks in. For ever.

I second this.

Pretty much the only way to avoid care costs (or at least some of them) are via 117 funding and CHC funding - Parkinson’s isn’t going to get better and frequently will at some point qualify for CHC funding.

Apart from that peopke are expected to pay for theif care - it’s the law, no one gets to escape care costs, and it has nothing to do with social workers being ‘vultures’.

If people don’t like it, campaign to have the law changed.

Looking at it another way - peopke who are able to sell assets to fibd theif care generally end up with far better services than those who don’t have any assets. I know which I’d rather have if I were to need care.

That is a very exposing response.

They might be using the Duty of Care Act of 2017. Resist it. Get legal advice. I do not think they have a right to force your mum to leave the house, and sell it over her and keep the money if she has relatives.

YOU MUST NOT LET THEM TAKE THE HOUSE before you consult the legal people. Which? legal might help, or you can find someone who subscribes to it. They try it on. As I have often posted, they jump on anyone who is unlikely to be a drain on their budget. There must be tens of thousands of elderly people without assets who are ignored by social workers. They are they who are quoted when the authorities say there is no care in the community. Workers are too willing to save their budget by jumping on those house owners.

Do NOT let them put your mother in a residential home without you visiting it. When you do, look at the staff ratio. How many staff at lunch time? How many residents sitting all day in a lounge overseen by one care assistant?

Residential homes cost a lot of money, and as your mother's property is worth so much, the cost will probably be somewhere in the region of £2-3,000 a week. If it is a council run home, chances are it will be more, because the cost is often shared between residents, and those who have money pay for those who do not. If it is not LA run, you will fare no better, because they too may have a sliding scale of fees. Residential homes charge for NHS and private medical treatment. They factor in the cost of extra nursing, mileage and accompanying assistant for every trip outside, for clinic appointments. Your mother could end up paying for private health because she has the money. It works similarly with other private institutions, like private schools.

Ask if the residents get at least one hour of one to one time with an assistant every day. If they do not, it is better for her to be at home and pay someone for care by the hour. If you can possibly care for your mother with the help of other relatives, then that is so much better. In the present climate of lack of funds, they will take the money fast, racking up expenses you never thought of.

Did your father have life assurance? If he did, why would they want the house?

WRITE TO YOUR MP and explain the time factor. I cannot think that he/she will not be as horrified as I am.

Have you applied for Attendance Allowance? It isn't much, but it could help, and the SS cannot do anything if an application is pending - at least I think so.

There are so many elderly people in your mother's position. As soon as they know anyone has money, they move in. It is like a shark circling the victim, yet there are tens of thousands of elderly people in the country without money who are left to fend for themselves.

It is tragic, and so obvious.

Try an INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST. They are the best people to look into what the SS are doing, and the LA does not like that sort of publicity.

This act does not exist in law in England and Wales.

Sometimes they don’t always follow the books or what seems to be the books. This happened to me in the past, dad & I shared a home but it was his house. He had £0 savings and I cared for him for 20 years without help and worked mon-fri. Three months in a care home and they told me I need to move out and sell his house because despite no savings it’s still considered equity. She said the only reason I can stay is if I’m disabled ( suddenly my type 1 diabetes was no longer considered) neither was my one year old complex DS on oxygen/ feeding pump.

What act? The Duty of Care 2017? Are you sure?