...to ask if I am I being a prude about these outfits?

[bellav]

My 11yo DD has taken a liking to K-Pop recently, but I am concerned about some of the outfits and dancing styles, especially as some of the singers are very young.

It feels to me like they are being exploited and sexualised at such a young age, but I am unsure how to go about discussing this with my daughter.

Am I just being a prude and showing my age here?!

Link to some of the worst offenders:

https://www.koreaboo.com/stories/15-extremely-revealing-stage-outfits-banned/

As has been discussed, I think with kpop the fact that there is a queasy crossover between looking like innocent schoolgirls (and many are of course very young) and dressing and dancing in a sexually provocative way is the issue that’s specific. People mention Britney - that’s one artist decades ago dressing as a sexy schoolgirl. With kpop girl groups it’s all of them.

Nothing new, my Dad always turned off the TV when Madonna popped in.

so you think Brittany was the only one?

I could list hundreds around the same time and before who wore next to nothing, sang very sexy lyrics and writhed around on the floor

Pussycat girls?

Oh, there’s a whole list!

K-pop is quite mild compared to mainstream artists now like Sabrina Carpenter, Alessi Rose etc!

Generally speaking, east Asian cultures (with the exception of China) have a greater acceptance of low-level sexualization, but a much much harsher line on high-level sexualization than we do, when it comes to general "family acceptable" content.

What I mean by this, is that these days you are much more likely to see, characters or celebrities wearing revealing clothes, making sexual remarks in all types of media,

But you are less likely to see kissing, sex, comments or discussions about sex etc.

I live in Asia, and it took me a while to realize this and get used to it. You'll consume media over here and at first you think "Wow that is so much more sexualized!" But then you realize that it never goes beyond the aesthetic appeal.

Whereas when I'm back in the UK, we are (these days) a bit more against aesthetic sexualization, but our media is full of actual sex, physical acts, kissing, comments, discussions about it.

My (Asian) partner used to joke about it - they would find it so funny how in western media people go from 0 to kissing in seconds, and kissing to sex in less time. Whereas in Asian media it was just two people, looking very sexualized, but the most they did was hold hands.

Believe it or not, but we in fact knew about Britney outside of the UK too. We had TVs and everything.

Exactly

this has been going on for decades

Lady marmalade. I still enjoy the music video when the DC are out.
Shakira, Nikki M, Beyoncé, they all dressed extremely sexual.
Sex sells.

Not the point but I've been very amused with the below in this thread -

BRITTANY for Britney Spears 🤣🤣🤣
Christina Aguilara / Aquilara for Christina Aguilera.
Pussycat Girls for Pussycat Dolls.

🤣😂

Edited to add that of course I made typos writing this 😂😭

No you are not being a prude.

It is all part of a zeitgeist wave of grooming of young girls tgat they only exist in relation to how much lust they can create.

These particular costumes are based on some mens’ lust for young teenage schoolgirls.

As for Kylie did it, Madonna did it etc so what? Why does that make it “A Good Thing”?

The thread gallery shows mainly adults ( looking like strippers).

The OP asking about the sexy teasing fourteen year old look - showing her innocent panties.

You have 2 older teens but only now are worried about what content they are seeing?!

Yes. I am worried specifically about K-Pop. That's what this thread is about.

What a depressing thread. The OP didn't ask if sexualised pop acts aimed at children were a new phenomenon, we all know they aren't. Does that take away the creepiness, the misogyny, the objectification etc? Nope.

My mum had loads of conversations with us about it, not to tell us what to do but to look at the issue from different perspectives, to better understand what was actually going on.

Just because a cultural trope is long entrenched, doesn't mean we just throw our hands up and accept it at face value. At least give your kids some other points of view.

Sinead O Connor had it right when she wrote to Miley Cyrus.

‘After the 20-year-old claimed that Wrecking Ball's controversial video was inspired by Nothing Compares 2 U, the Irish singer was compelled to warn Cyrus that she is being 'pimped' by the pop industry. This is the full text of O'Connor's blogpost’

Obv Miley ignored her at the time, but when she was older and wiser, Miley apologised to Sinead for her years earlier response.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2013/oct/03/sinead-o-connor-open-letter-miley-cyrus

My mum discussed stuff with us all the time. Big and small.

I'm so relieved that my girls are into more grunge, 90s music than what is out these days.

It's not just K-pop, there have been numerous current music artists in the charts grinding away and singing sexually explicit lyrics.

Whilst 90s Nirvana is still not "clean" language, at least the clothing style is more combats and baggy tshirts!

Do you have an open relationship with your dc? Can you have open and frank discussions? I have boys but we have quite deep and open discussions about everything. As a pp suggested, use this as a way of opening up a discussion (not just one but a continued discourse) about feminism, incel culture etc. Id even bring an age appropriate discussion about Trump and Epstein into it to show how insipid it is

It’s not a a Good Thing

Nor is scoffing 4 packets of monster munch back to back and a dairy milk chocolate 2 mins before I serve a Sunday roast (looking at my teen son here), dropping the F bomb at least a dozen times a day within my ear shot, wearing a far too short skirt IMO to school etc etc

but… I pick my “chats” and the fact that I was able to look at out cat dolls, Madonna, Kyle etc etc and not think “I want to wear what they’re wearing as an 11 year old, 16 year old, 21 year old and now ripe old age of 45” means I’m not fazed enough to think it warrants an earnest “chat”

Op I will presume I am correct and you are a home educator

maybe better to as a HE group?

Just looked at the link you posted.
I think Britney, Christina, lady gaga, Beyonce and even Taylor swift wear much less!

Maybe I am a bit too relaxed but DSD is 12 nearly 13. As far as we are concerned, clothes are clothes and dancing is dancing. It isn’t inappropriate unless an adult adds a motive to it that isn’t there. It is similar to saying children shouldn’t wear bikinis, it’s clothes for swimming in.

No, I didn't say you were correct about that.
It's irrelevant to this discussion.
As far as I know, home ed kids are "normal" kids too.

Oh come on op…. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about

but you patently are

just refer to one of your home ed groups