...to ask if I am I being a prude about these outfits?

[bellav]

My 11yo DD has taken a liking to K-Pop recently, but I am concerned about some of the outfits and dancing styles, especially as some of the singers are very young.

It feels to me like they are being exploited and sexualised at such a young age, but I am unsure how to go about discussing this with my daughter.

Am I just being a prude and showing my age here?!

Link to some of the worst offenders:

https://www.koreaboo.com/stories/15-extremely-revealing-stage-outfits-banned/

The pop stars I remember growing up with was stars like Tiffany who wore woolly jumpers and doc martens

scandalised? not in my world it wasnt and im 48 - more people were up in arms about the like a prayer video tthe year before than the cone corset

I'm 62. Have a look at Pans People dancing on some Top of the Pops episodes from the 1970's

Pans People were pretty tame and quite cheesy. Babs was my favourite.

The online trad wife thing is also trying to be sexually appealing.
I dont mean the people just getting on with their lives as stay at home mums in a traditional family structure. Or even the "trad wife communities" where women usually from a traditional Christian, rural community are talking about their intention to live more traditionally.
But there is a whole genre of Instagram/tik-tok style imagery of perfectly made-up, pretty women in milkmaid dresses taking pies out of the oven etc are definitely selling an aesthetic. An aesthetic that appeals to two very distinct groups -other women for whom it's aspirational, and men who find it sexually appealing. See all the memes comparing cartoon images of "liberated feminist" to a smiling, blond "tradwife".

Its quite hard to escape the male gaze.

I want angry bog witch to become an aesthetic. But that's just me.

So in that case, if it’s just the music she’s enjoying… don’t make a big deal about it!

”like a virgin, touched for the very first time”

oh the fond memories of belting that out with my mum decades ago!

and watching my sister writhing around on my floor pretending to be Christina Aguilara back in 1999!

Yes but if we accept that madonna etc was also doing some very extreme stuff when we were younger

and our mothers didn’t earnestly sit us down and “discuss” with us…. Then, well, we weren’t all harmed by it or impacted by it were we.

we just… grew up!

Or just a mum who didn’t want to make a big deal about something like this when there are so much bigger issues to have “chats” about with

Beautiful Babs - can’t remember her name tho (to quote Ronnie Barker ! 😬)

You can gave more than one chat.

Thanks for the replies everyone. Looks like 71% think IANBU but they seem t be the less vocal ones in terms of voicing their opinions! All food for thought, though, thanks.

Bottom line for me is that the fact it has been going on for years makes zero difference. Even if that's the case, it doesn't mean it's okay. And this is my first time navigating it with an impressionable 11yo girl so I am just trying to do the right thing.

From your first post you are just at the rolling up of skirts stage.

So you will have many many more clothing related issues to come.

It's not about how my DD dresses. It's about how to talk to her about what she's seeing.

as the parent of teens op, save the “chats” for more important stuff otherwise will be diluted and ignored

I have teens as well - an 18yo and soon-to-be 16yo. But this is still new territory in our household.

How???

Presumably because the older ones weren’t K-Pop fans.

Sweet Jesus

I’ve just re-watched One More Time, to compare to the OP’s link. It looks like ballet in comparison, virtually innocent.😆 The school uniform was risqué at the time, but gives good coverage, and the rest is big trousers and a cropped top. The dancing is proper group dancing, not bumping and grinding.

This sort of thing is not restricted to K-pop. It’s been everywhere for decades, as pp have noted.

Are you a home educator by any chance?

Your daughter is seeing these videos for maybe 20 minutes a day (i guess l, it depends how much you control screen time etc but my daughter isn't on her phone much)

The rest of the time she's seeing how you behave and how the other adults and people around her behave.

So assuming you aren't some Botox faced filler lipped Stanley cup clutching vapid only fans model, she'll be fine

I agree with this. If you judge and criticise the trivia they won't feel able to chat to you about the big stuff