Old-ish man on the route to the Co-op who keeps saying hello

[RogueFemale]

I moved house last week and already have noticed this man. He lives on the short (7m) walking route to the local Co-Op. He's maybe mid 60s, tall, heavy build. He is always standing outside his front door, and he loudly says hello every time I go past. I ignore him.

I'm 60 and am used to being invisible.

So it's not a leering hello. I also thought maybe it was accidental he was standing outside before, or something, and just a cheery 'local' hello.

But I went past twice today (to Co-Op) and he was there both times, hello-ing, and I'm finding it quite weird, that he's always standing outside his front door.

I'm going to be going to the local Co-Op a lot, so what do I do?

AIBU to continue to ignore him and just doggedly go past for years pretending he's not there?

Yes, because only “women-hating blokes” would ever think it’s perfectly normal and innocent to say a polite “hello” to a man.

I live in a large village and all kinds of people I’ve never set eyes on before say hello to me. Some of them are rather eccentric. You say hello back and that’s it. You may be the only person they speak to all day. Your alternative is to find another route to the shop.

He might think that it's odd that you are always walking past his house every time he is standing outside his house.

Has to be a wind up. Waiting for deletion message

Simpletons think in black and white terms and thus conclude if people are disagreeing with a woman, they must be male. For real women never speak out of turn!

I cannot believe this complete weirdo of an OP managed to shoehorn a trans comment into a thread about a biological male saying hello to a biological female. Is this a new low?

It’s SAYING HELLO.

How many times a day do you go to the Co-Op?

So he’s mentally ill, creepy, got dementia, maybe a trans identifying man, he’s predatory even though his penis doesn’t work anymore, he’s an arse hole… all because he said hello to you? Think you might be the mentally ill one out of the two people in question here OP!

'AIBU to continue to ignore him and just doggedly go past for years pretending he's not there?'

96% of people: YES.

OP: NOOOOOO!!! women don't owe men anything, he's creepy/mentally ill/dementia/trans, I won't say 'hello'!

So then.. Don't? I mean no one here really cares.

I have a slightly odd neighbour, a next door one. He's a weed smoker, drinks quite a bit and I suspect has some sort of mental condition/learning difficulties, though I'm not qualified to decide.

He's a smoker and often stands outside, also comes and goes multiple times a day, so I meet him often and so does my DD. We have lived here for the past 9 years and never had any trouble from him. He says hello, we say it back, I exchange couple of pleasantries with him from time to time. He's being neighbourly, we're being neighbourly. No one died and all is good. Yea, we don't 'owe him' hello, but we live next to each other, and it's hardly difficult to be polite.

Nor me. It was a real WTF? moment.

I think OP is up for some kind of prize over on the GC branch

Oh, ffs...🙄

I suspect the thinking was ‘if I mention trans everyone will leap screaming on to my correct side of the argument’.

Which, y’know…didn’t really pan out.

Indeed, because if you don’t despise all men to the depths of your bones, and wouldn’t waste your piss on them if they were on fire, you must be a man.

But you have only moved a week ago?

Sweet of you to say

OP maybe you are the one with issues!

He’s likely doing this with all passersby if he’s out all the time.

I would also suggest saying hello.

Agreed

Not least because she can’t remember a whole post about trans people and then denied making the post

@RogueFemale - have you seen him greeting other people going past his house? I don’t think you have any responsibility to reply to him if you are getting a creepy vibe from him, but if he was doing it to everyone, that might make it a bit less worrying for you.

As a general point, I don’t think women owe anyone their attention/time, but I can understand why women might feel more concerned about unwanted attention from men than they would about similar attention from women - a man would be more of a threat if he got angry or if he ramped up his unwanted attentions.

I also think people - but especially women - have every right to act on their feelings - if someone gives you a bad vibe, it is sensible to avoid engaging with them.

Er, no, it didn't did it!

If he really does have dementia or a similar condition, he won't give a shit whether she says hello back or not. If I really don't want to interact with someone I go for the happy medium of a nod because I don't hate being part of the human race.

Maybe he has got dementia, maybe he’s lonely and the interactions of saying hello to passersby is all he has in a day. Would it really hurt you OP to be friendly enough to say hello back?
Or maybe he thinks “there goes that mentally ill woman scuttling by on her way to the Co-Op again… she’s obviously a few sandwiches short of a picnic if she’s visiting the Co-Op so often and is not even capable of saying hello… poor love.”

I'd say 'hello' too, but I wouldn't call him her or she.

But you won’t say hello to a neighbour who says hello to you?

How stuck up and rude. Say hello and get on with your day. You are not above politely saying hello to someone who has said it to you first.