School refused to release my child until after parents’ meeting – is this allowed?

[Sofia14]

Today, I went to collect my child from his primary school (London), but was told I couldn’t take him until after a parents’ meeting. The children were kept waiting in the hall for about 20 minutes.
The school only emailed about the meeting at 10.30am for 3.15pm. The message didn’t say it was compulsory or that kids wouldn’t be released. Staff were abrupt and didn’t apologise. I was unwell and really needed to get home. In the end, the meeting wasn’t urgent at all; it was about who the teachers are, what uniform to wear, and reminders about being polite/etiquette. All of this could easily have been sent by email.

AIBU to think the school had no right to keep my child like this?

Thanks for understanding, and thanks for the advice.

Schools are not allowed to withold your child except for safeguarding reasons.

Im not sure I believe that the first email was at 10.30 this morning, sorry. Maybe approach the office and say could they check whether you are on all the email lists as you only received the reminder this morning and are assuming that you must not be on the correct mailing list. (give them the benefit of the doubt I mean, shutters go up In schools if you approach all guns blazing).

Look, it’s certainly irritating, and I’d have given them a piece of my mind, but calling it a ‘breach of my rights’ is a bit fucking dramatic and won’t get you anywhere. Blowing things out of proportion just makes you look silly and self-important.

Regardless of how much notice you were or weren’t given, the school cannot do this.

Do you have a parent WhatsApp group? If so, have a chat with the other parents about it. Ask the headteacher in writing (preferably by email) and if you don’t get a satisfactory result ask the governors.

OP, what you could do is write to the governors and ask why you were not allowed to take your child home at the usual end time. You can explain that this was very difficult for you for personal reasons.

What you should not be doing is contacting lawyers.

I understand now. As a newcomer to the UK, I wanted to learn about my rights, but I realize it might be best to avoid conflict with the school, even if something doesn’t feel right. Thank you for the advice.

It is unreasonable for the school to give such short notice.
Many parents who WFH nip out to do pick ups between meetings.
But schools are always under the impression that parents have all day to hang around during the day.

English isn’t my first language, so sometimes I use formal words without realising how they come across 😆

FFS! Kindly OP, get a grip. I’m pretty sure if you had replied to the email telling them that unfortunately as you are unwell you will be unable to stay for the meeting, you would have been able to take them home at home time.

What do you mean ‘shut the door on us’? Where was this meeting held?

Nice to see all the stay-at-home mums have gathered round to judge those of us who have to juggle multiple competing work commitments.

This is definitely not ok. School should only refuse to release a child if there's a safeguarding concern.

On a more practical level, I'd have been fuming. DS currently has daily wound/dressing checks at a hospital 45 minutes drive away. The department he's with closes at 4.30 and he gets out of school at 3.15. Refusing to release him to me could have a serious impact on his health.

Ok so technically the school cannot do this, in practice some schools do, and you risk damaging your relationship with them if you complain about it.

What I would do is email the office asking them to check whether you are on the correct mailing list - explain that you had not known about the information meeting, and that for personal reasons and your other commitments it was very inconvenient to have to wait to collect your child, so you want to check that you are getting all messages that you should be getting so that this kind of problem does not arise again.

It’s entirely possible that there were multiple messages about this and that you didn’t get them! It’s also a polite way to subtly remind school that actually this was inconvenient.

I appreciate you want to know how things work in England - being overly polite and a bit passive aggressive is a large part of how things work here :)

That is exactly what I would have done.

Yes, as was the claim that it breached your "right to a family life".
Perhaps because English isn't your first language you aren't aware of how that would come across in this instance.
Just an email of complaint to the headteacher would suffice. Good luck.

I'm a teacher and think this is very poor.

The school should have given much more notice and should have released the children at home time to any parents who couldn't stay for the after school meeting or who didn't wish to stay for it.

I find it extremely frustrating when schools act like this, and you should be able to take your child home at the usual time OP, even if an exceptional meeting was planned and even if notice had been given.

That said, if your child sees you kicking up a fuss or even just detects your frustration on the way home or hears you venting to your DH later, I wonder if that teaches them that not respecting school rules and arguing with teachers is okay. I would suck it up for the 20 minutes and move on.

What odd replies. Regardless if she’s missed an email or not they shouldn’t be so rigid

i wouldn’t have been able to stay as my DS finished school 15 mins later a 10 min walk away

and on my working days the non parent picking up would have been very unhappy!!

Should I also tell my boss to suck it up and be positive if she complains I missed my 4pm Teams meeting cause the school wouldn't let my DC out?

She closed the classroom door, and the meeting itself was in the sports hall in another part of the school.

I don’t know what everyone on this thread is smoking but no it is not ok 😂 particularly given the short notice.
A meeting like this should be in school time and/or non compulsory, especially given they are primary school age.
I would have taken my child and left.

I'm a retired teacher and I'm amazed at the number of posters telling OP that she should just suck this up. If parents were genuinely only told mid morning today that their children wouldn't be released (so many won't have seen the email, never mind have time to rearrange commitments/find someone else to pick up their children at other schools) then they are entirely in the wrong.

Have you tried a no win/no fee lawyer yet? There MUST be compo in this somewhere.

🙄

Was it about an upcoming OFSTED insection? My son's school did this once, kept all the kids in so a letter could be given to the parents about the inspection. .