School refused to release my child until after parents’ meeting – is this allowed?

[Sofia14]

Today, I went to collect my child from his primary school (London), but was told I couldn’t take him until after a parents’ meeting. The children were kept waiting in the hall for about 20 minutes.
The school only emailed about the meeting at 10.30am for 3.15pm. The message didn’t say it was compulsory or that kids wouldn’t be released. Staff were abrupt and didn’t apologise. I was unwell and really needed to get home. In the end, the meeting wasn’t urgent at all; it was about who the teachers are, what uniform to wear, and reminders about being polite/etiquette. All of this could easily have been sent by email.

AIBU to think the school had no right to keep my child like this?

This would annoy me and I 100% believe you were only notified at 10.30

I'm guessing a decision was made to host this meeting because something dramatic happened between some other parents and staff and this was the school's solution, to remind all parents of expected conduct. It's quite a drastic thing for a school to do.

I don’t think they have the right to issue detentions to parents. Do they?

I hadn't realised locking toilets might be a thing - my DD is Yr7 and I told her she should be able to go to the toilet when needed, as she has very heavy periods and can bleed through her clothes. I hope there are allowances for this, but I'll check now. Their school doesn't have a toilet room though, just cubicles on a corridor, so they can't hide away too well.

They still have no right to compel parents to attend and refuse the handover of their child to force attendance. Parents can't be expected to drop everything to attend the meeting at that sort of notice. Plenty of parents might collect their child during a break from work or be collecting their child to take elsewhere before they go to work.

I never said they did, just guessing what went on.

Doesn’t seem the sort of approach which will improve the state of affairs. Parents are not small children who need a ticking off. The school’s approach should be to work as a team from the start with families and to also provide an advance calendar of events and request attendance. Maybe with an added cake stall and cup of tea to get everyone in a good frame of mind!

Sorry yes you’re right, I was referring to in all other scenarios bar court order and safeguarding the school must release the child to the parent.

Yes there are allowances. Just speak to her form tutor or head of year.

Absolutely ridiculous thing to do. I hate the policy of never letting kids go to the toilet, there are always going to be reasons kids need to go at short notice from time to time, eaten something dodgy, undiagnosed IBS, sudden onset of period, and these won't be kids who already have toilet passes.

How utterly embarrassing and humiliating for her. When I was 11 I would rather have died than speak to a teacher about periods - or have my mum do it. So inhuman. Kids need to use the toilet sometimes and they shouldn’t have to give a long explanation!

I’m thankful that dds school lets them go to the loo whenever they like.

It’s an all girls school and part of the info before the started in September stated their toilet policy. Girls can go when they like but they have to note it in their planner so parents can see if they are just trying to get ten mins out of the same lesson all the time.

Yes I totally agree with you. However from my own experience with my sixteen year old daughter a lot of schools are strict about when to use the toilets. I think a lot of the time girls mess about in them and that's the logic behind it all. Therefore a short email from 'mum' will usually work. Maybe not telling the daughter will stop any embarrassment too. Better that at least the poor girl can change herself when required.

I think you should get over it

'Well done to the school'? I dont think so. Luckily the OP is not of the legal persuasion as that is a law case waiting to happen. One that the OP would win as the school cannot hold your child hostage and demand you attend a meeting about school uniforms etc etc!

I think some may have totally lost the plot - to agree to schools keeping children hostage bc parents didnt read an email or cant/dont wish to attend a meeting. Who do these teachers think they are that THEY think they have the final say?

OP has been nice. I would have torn the teachers down a peg or two and then some so they would think twice before holding a child hostage from their parents ever again!

Pineapplecolada1
Making sure parents can attend and offering childcare whilst they do should be seen as positive.

If that had been what they did it would have been a good idea, but it wasn't. What they did was refuse children permission to leave the school premises, shut them into their classrooms, and require the people collecting them to go to the hall for a talk. This means that a lot of non-parents collecting children will have been caused inconvenience, a lot of parents with other children at other schools, dentists' appointments and so forth will have been caused inconvenience, and a large tranche of parents who were not collecting their children at the end of the school day will not have been at the talk in the school hall anyway.

A very ill-thought-out bit of behaviour on the part of the school; one might almost think someone had wanted to upset and annoy the parents and lessen their engagement with the arbitrary people in charge of the school, not improve or increase it.

Suppose that mother was able to take the child out, and there was no supervision in the playground because the teachers were in the meeting, and an accident of some kind happened?

Whose responsibility would it be?

Suppose, suppose.
All teachers would not have to be at the meeting - its not a staff meeting. Safeguarding means the school should have this covered, if not, then incompetent, negligent, if they cant make make a workable plan between the lot of them.

But in this instance the school were the twats surely?!

I’m a bit shocked by everyone saying this is okay. Plenty of parents have other responsibilities and need to pick up on time. Schools don’t have the right to withhold your child from you.

Probably because most schools treat parents like they are an employee of the school or a pupil.....

Presumably if the mother had taken her child out, she would be supervising her own child. Why would she also need the school to supervise her child?

Are you sure the law as you state it is still the case? I haven't checked, but i saw a draft bill 18 mths ago which gave schools more powers in relation to holding on to children, in wide circumstances. When I first saw this thread I was worried that it had gone through as originally drafted - a disaster in relation to potential for malpractice.

Some of you are fucking mental!!

OP this is wildly outrageous behaviour from the school and honestly something that ive never heard of and would not happen in scotland.

I would have never allowed this to have happened, i would have politly taken my child, thats right MY CHILD.

I have other children at different schools, my children have other commitments after school so we have alot going on at pickup - if i go to pickup my child at school finish im picking up my child at school finish regardless of what they say.

I’ve certainly not seen anything and it’s an area of law I’d usually be very aware of professionally (social worker). I can’t find anything online and would be surprised if such a Bill did pass due to potential breaches of the Human Rights Act.

A quick update for those who asked.
It’s been three weeks, and I still haven’t received a response from the school. I sent my original email and a follow-up, asking whether parents’ meetings are compulsory and, if so, whether a child can only be collected after attending. The school hasn’t responded to either email.

I don’t plan to escalate further for now, but I really hope this situation won’t happen again.