School refused to release my child until after parents’ meeting – is this allowed?

[Sofia14]

Today, I went to collect my child from his primary school (London), but was told I couldn’t take him until after a parents’ meeting. The children were kept waiting in the hall for about 20 minutes.
The school only emailed about the meeting at 10.30am for 3.15pm. The message didn’t say it was compulsory or that kids wouldn’t be released. Staff were abrupt and didn’t apologise. I was unwell and really needed to get home. In the end, the meeting wasn’t urgent at all; it was about who the teachers are, what uniform to wear, and reminders about being polite/etiquette. All of this could easily have been sent by email.

AIBU to think the school had no right to keep my child like this?

No. It’s not acceptable. Only if child is being disciplined and I’m assuming this wasn’t the case. If it’s not possible to stay, you are able to walk out. Meetings should have plenty of notice - do you have a school diary or newsletter with dates? It’s inevitable not everyone can stay so school should have alternative methods to disseminate info.

Obviously human rights is a step too far but children must be released after a school day. Late collection is a bigger issue for schools! Parents cannot be forced to go to any meeting.

I’m UK born and bred, there is no way I’d just deal with it and move on. School pick up times are tight with two children in different schools so I couldn’t hang about for a 20 minute meeting no matter how much notice was given. Schools do not have the right to detain your child and certainly not to demand parents attend a meeting. I would have demanded my child be returned to me immediately and would be well within my rights to do so.

@Joloman74 I’m as British as they come and my schools would not have done this. It’s not how schools behave with pupils or parents.

If anyone can point out what possible excuse there was for attacking the OP for not being Properly British, I'd be fascinated to hear the "reasoning" there.

The rights part isn’t about having notice about the meeting. It’s about the children not being released to the parents in order to coerce attendance. If OP had known about the meeting since the day her DC was born, the school would still be acting outrageously to do that.

Please, don't do that. You must always speak up if something doesn't feel right. I've worked in schools for 20 years, you have a RIGHT to have your say if you want. Maybe there was a miscommunication between the school and parents,happens all the time!
Just send a short email expressing your surprise that you were not informed earlier of this meeting and ask what were the reasons for not allowing children to be collected? And also state that in future,you would appreciate a little more notice of a situation like this as you could have had somewhere else to be. Who cares about being seen as a PITA as another poster put it! The PITA parents and those with the loudest voices are the ones who get things done in my experience. Don't stay quiet to avoid conflict,people will walk all over you.
Edited to say I just noticed that you already sent an email. Good!

@maryanne3 it’s not about whether a court would entertain the issue, it’s never going to end up near a court. It is important for parents to understand their own rights in relation to their parental responsibilities and to understand the limits of the schools authority over their children. Schools don’t have the right to stop parents collecting their children for any reason without a court order, parents yield too much authority to schools. There are other ways to manage discipline at school than to detain parents and children.

Correct. You cannot refuse to hand a child over unless a court order no longer gives them Parental Responsibility.

I don't see that in what the poster said. I read:

''In the end, the meeting wasn’t urgent at all; it was about who the teachers are, what uniform to wear, and reminders about being polite/etiquette. All of this could easily have been sent by email.''

and took it to mean that she did not consider the content of the meeting worth holding it for.

I agree. What do you think of the report on BBC about the school on the Isle of Wight imposing strict rules? As I heard it, the BBC was encouraging parents to complain about it.

The school has imposed locked doors not only on the doors to the school, but also on the toilets. Pupils can only go to the toilet at certain times. I assume that is so that pupils are not walking about the school alone during lesson times. I think that very sensible. I also applaud the rule imposed that when a student is awarded in the points system, each pupil must get only two claps from the rest. That is also sensible. It doesn't allow a pupil to get excessive acclaim.

Rather than complain, I think the parents should thank the school for taking safety and security seriously, especially on an island.

No. It's not allowed. I would simply have calmly ignored them and taken MY child home.

School has no right to refuse to hand your child to you even if you turned up in the middle of the day - this applies to anyone with PR unless there is a court order in place. Or the school have serious safeguarding concerns about you collecting in that moment ie. You turn up blind drunk

Not read all replies but….

I absolutely would not have accepted this. Parents meetings are not compulsory, much as schools would like better parental engagement. (I’m a school governor so know it is a concern). My kids have been through two schools and a college and none of them would have notified all parents from a class of a meeting same day. Nor have they refused to hand over children at the end of school when I turned up to collect them. (Well, at secondary, I rarely collected them anyway). Schools can only refuse to hand over a child to a parent in particular circumstances, such as grave concerns for welfare, the parent not being authorised to collect the child, or if there’s a court order in place. It could be considered false imprisonment.

Taking kids away to force parents into a meeting is very wrong. Often, schools offer childcare while parents attend arranged meetings to encourage better attendance and to avoid distractions but it would be voluntary (and usually not straight after school). Plenty of parents have work to return to or get to, or have arranged after school activities for their children, buses/trains to catch etc. Treating the parents like kids is not a great way to start a good relationship with the parents imho.

I would make a complaint. Their complaints process/policy should be available on their website. If not, you can ask for a copy. Most follow along the lines of “raise it with the teacher, then raise with the head if not satisfied, then write to the chair of governors if not satisfied.” but as you got nowhere with the teacher I would go straight to the head then maybe the Chair. If that gets you nowhere, you can always complain to the lovely Ofsted.

Good luck.

Agreed that she didn't think it was information that a meeting needed to be held for. That doesn't mean the information is unimportant. Just that it wasn't information that could only be imparted face-to-face.

Almost all the important information I've received from institutions has primarily been in written form. Meeting were sometimes nice to have in addition, but it was the written format that was critical to ensuring I knew what was going on and could follow any requirements going forward.

Actually no, even if you turn up blind drunk the school can’t legally refuse to hand your child over if you insist. The school would need the police to attend a remove the child on an emergency basis. The police are the only agency that have the power to remove your child to a place of safety immediately, everyone else needs a court order.

It’s a long time since I’ve had to do the school run but I still remember the crazy dash to collect one child from one place and then on to a different school to collect the other. Most of us are madly juggling. I also well remember the attitude from school that parents have nothing else to do and our time doesn’t matter. They are definitely in the wrong here.

I remember once getting notice only the afternoon before about a meeting at 2.30 with important information about SATs. It never seemed to occur to the school that some mums (always only mums involved back then) were working! They treat parents like kids and are hugely judgmental without knowing the full picture. I’m so glad I’m well out of it now.

Speaking up is almost impossible without damaging relations with the school. Teachers behave as if they are gods and frankly they are not all that!!

why are people pretending this is normal. When I pick my kid up I have to pick up 15 other kids (with other staff) for a sports club I run elsewhere, going via another school. If I couldn’t take my kid I would be leaving a lot of other kids not being picked up! And there will be countless reasons with similar urgency I imagine!

Two claps 😂

Nice undertone. Always one has to get it in. Pathetic

I would also agree that locking school toilets is a human rights abuse. We were never allowed to go to the toilet during lessons at secondary school and I don’t remember anyone asking. That is a question of sensible rules. But they should be open in case of an emergency. The fact that some kids are bunking off in the toilets these days is a question of teachers not having any sort of grip on behaviour.

I think vaping is a huge issue for school bathrooms, increasingly security around them.

So patrol the toilets. Anyone caught vaping 1) gets a detention and letter home 2) repeat offenders are suspended etc etc. How did schools ever deal with smoking behind the bike sheds?

There is no reason to lock children out of the loo if they are about to wet themselves or vomit openly! Access to toilets must be a human rights issue.

All made up just to have a go at the OP.
Sad.

They don't lock the bathroom but do patrol them, they are mixed sex bathrooms, DD hates using the bathrooms in school. It's like prison.

Most things about school are like prison. Glad my kids are grown up now.