School refused to release my child until after parents’ meeting – is this allowed?

[Sofia14]

Today, I went to collect my child from his primary school (London), but was told I couldn’t take him until after a parents’ meeting. The children were kept waiting in the hall for about 20 minutes.
The school only emailed about the meeting at 10.30am for 3.15pm. The message didn’t say it was compulsory or that kids wouldn’t be released. Staff were abrupt and didn’t apologise. I was unwell and really needed to get home. In the end, the meeting wasn’t urgent at all; it was about who the teachers are, what uniform to wear, and reminders about being polite/etiquette. All of this could easily have been sent by email.

AIBU to think the school had no right to keep my child like this?

I am not saying teachers don't have a job and a half to do. That does not mean they can point blank refuse a parents wishes and instructions to collect their children from school. They are not a law unto themselves!

I dont believe it's the parents why teachers are leaving the profession. The bureaucracy. The amount of paperwork and tick boxes.

Thank you very much to everyone for taking the time to reply. I have read all the comments carefully. The responses from governors, headteachers and primary school teachers were especially helpful.
I have taken all your advice on board and came to the conclusion that I do need some clarification from the school. So I’ve written them a polite email, and it will be interesting to see what they reply.
Thanks again to everyone for your time and support!

Firstly, welcome to the U.K :)

What happened is not a normal situation in my experience.

Notice is normally given for a meeting (more than what you were given) and then you have a choice if you wish to attend that meeting.

If it happens again, you can say that you cannot attend the meeting due to prior commitments. You do not need to explain yourself any further.

Hope that helps x

Keep us posted please.

Having been a teacher and having kids and grandkids in the system,I can categorically say that never has any school send out an email arranging a meeting the same day!!Unheard of. Are you sure you hadn't overlooked e mail. It can happen.
In the circumstances you had every right to remove your child as you were given no reasonable warning of meeting

Op you have been incredibly gracious in the face of some quite rude replies on here, especially ones that have persisted after you've explained the language barrier and maybe using wrong terms.

I wouldn't be happy about that. Many parents collect from multiple schools/nurseries etc

Not normal.

Why do you think the reasons for the meeting are unreasonable? They seem very important to me.

OP didn’t say the information was unimportant, she was quite clear that it was the method of communication that was unreasonable. (And that the unreasonableness was exacerbated by very poor execution).

As a teacher, I hope this post is by a member of the public, rather than a colleague who can't play nicely with others on the internet.

Why is it that those who chose to emigrate to the UK for a better life always look for reasons to consult a lawyer that their rights have been breached? Especially their human rights? You need to understand that in a new country things are going to happen that you havnt experienced before. Just accept it and move on! It's not the end of the world and hardly cause for taking things further.

I agree. Really bad of the school. You should have insisted really to collect him on time. They needed to give more notice.

Whether or not OP had 2 hours, 2 weeks or even 2 months notice of the meeting, even if she had signed and said she could attend the meeting and for some reason couldnt when the time came, teachers have no right to refuse a request from a parent or a person with parental responsibilities to collect their child. They have overstepped the mark demanding parents attend the meeting and hold their child hostage until they do. They may feel they have a difficult job to do but, come on now, who do they really think they are?

I’m surprised at the number of posters saying why didn’t you just go in and get your child. At the school I used to work at, even after the end of the school day, parents couldn’t just walk in to school, they had to be let in by either the teacher at the classroom door to the playground or the admin staff via the office entrance. I assumed all schools were now like this for safeguarding reasons.

I know it’s not the end of the world, and I’m not planning to call a lawyer. I’m very grateful to Britain for accepting me, and I do my best to contribute by paying taxes, following the rules, and volunteering. I don’t demand special treatment. And I believe that Britain, as a democratic country, shows the same basic respect to everyone, whether citizen or foreigner, and does not undermine human dignity. My post was simply about trying to understand the cultural and ethical norms in a new country, so I can adapt respectfully.

Yes at mine too - I wouldn't be able to physically get them. But if I was at the school gate requesting my children be released and the school refused to comply AND physically prevented me from accessing them, that would be false imprisonment, surely? That's a pretty serious stance to take just to ensure parents attend a meeting about uniform

No need for you to explain yourself to this xenophobic PP. Or to express your gratitude for living in Britain.

You asked a perfectly reasonable question regarding whether it is normal or allowed in the UK. The vast majority of PP’s have told you that it is neither so you were right to ask and also right to raise it with the school x

Huh? I'm British and have 5 kids, I've never seen or heard of a school doing this before and I wouldn't be happy about it at all. Especially if, like the op, I had other commitments and really couldn't stay for an extra 20 minutes.

Nasty.
OP hasn’t mentioned lawyers. They were simply asking if this was normal practice. As someone who worked in a school I would join others in saying that no, it isn’t normal to stop parents collecting their children at the normal time and if this had been tried at our school there would have been a riot on the gates.

But don’t let facts get in the way of your xenophobic attitude.

If it really was the case that the school only told parents about the extra-meeting that morning (and do check) then they are somewhat at fault. My guess is that there was some 'incident' earlier in the day, and the head teacher decided to nip it in the bud early in the term by calling this extra meeting, and ensuring parents were there to listen. However if it really put you out, then you can always write to the head teacher explaining your circumstances, and how it is not always convenient for parents to hang around after school at such short notice. Be constructive, suggest that 24 hours warning might have helped. Hopefully you will get a fuller explanation as to what was behind it. In terms of 'rights' I doubt any court would find against the head as, given it was only 20 minutes, this would probably be seen as a reasonable part of ensuring good discipline in the school. So I would not try talking about 'rights'. Just see it as part of a reasonable dialogue with the school. They have a hard job, and presumably you want your child to be in an ordered and controlled environment.

But again, “only 20 mins” is ridiculous reasoning for so many reasons that have been set out already.

I could not wait 20 mins, under any circumstances. I have another child to collect from elsewhere.

Even if it was a preplanned afterschool meeting, planned weeks in advance, directly after school would be a tough one for me and I’d be relying on dh being able to take time off work to collect my other child in the next town.

Many parents work anyway and couldn’t come to a meeting right after school as they don’t do school pick up.

Ive had 3 children in primary and secondary school now, there have been a couple of meetings right after school for info on SATS, and a couple right after drop off when the first started reception, but they are very clear that they will email parents who cannot attend all the information. They don’t go holding children back if it’s after school.

Exactly this.

If you have somewhere else to be straight afterwards, "only 20 minutes" is going to make you very late.

And frankly, even if you get 24 hours' notice, or even a week's notice, you still have the right to say, "Sorry, I can't make it, I have a pre-existing commitment and will need to collect my child at the usual time."

If they had only notified parents that morning, I would absolutely say you're fine to not stay. If it was a reminder, rather than a first notification, that would be different. However, if people are ill or have to leave, it seems unreasonable to hold them there unwillingly. My DC's old primary school always left things to the last minute, I was a governor and kept stressing more notice needed to be given. But they wouldn't have stopped people from leaving.

I really dont understand why people are making excuses for the teachers and the school.

1. It matters not when the school communicated this meeting to parents whether 1 hour, 1 week, 1 month etc Parent can say yes to the meeting and do not have to attend if they do not wish to. Teachers and schools cannot compel them to attend a meeting.

1. Teachers/schools cannot refuse parents access to their child unless there is some sort of safeguarding or danger issue.....a parents meeting wont cut it. Holding children hostage is out of order and beyond belief.

All the excuses, however reasonable they may sound. does not in any way excuse this dictatorial, hostage situation of parent and child that has transpired. If it is 'inconvenient' or 'annoying' or whatever for them that is not the parents problem if they want/need/would like to pick up their child.

Teachers/schools need to get off their high horses and not dictate to parents in this situation. Again I say, who do they think they are?

Born and bred in this country. The school had no right to keep the children after school away from parents unless there was serious incident and it wasn’t safe for kids to be released.
No need to consult lawyers and the OP just wanted to know if it was normal and I can say hand on heart this is not normal school behaviour. I finish one job, collect kid and then start another job at 4pm. This would affect my earning and ability to pay bills as self employed if I was late.
It sounds like the parents were even in the meeting if the teacher just shut the door on parents waiting.
plus having worked in schools, you wouldn’t be able to hold back a bunch of angry bear mums who want to collect their precious cubs!!