School refused to release my child until after parents’ meeting – is this allowed?

[Sofia14]

Today, I went to collect my child from his primary school (London), but was told I couldn’t take him until after a parents’ meeting. The children were kept waiting in the hall for about 20 minutes.
The school only emailed about the meeting at 10.30am for 3.15pm. The message didn’t say it was compulsory or that kids wouldn’t be released. Staff were abrupt and didn’t apologise. I was unwell and really needed to get home. In the end, the meeting wasn’t urgent at all; it was about who the teachers are, what uniform to wear, and reminders about being polite/etiquette. All of this could easily have been sent by email.

AIBU to think the school had no right to keep my child like this?

But poster after poster on this thread have stated genuine reasons why this couldn't work in their family / their life. It has nothing to do with 'not being arsed'.

I had this once. I’d been in for a meeting that ended about 2:30. I said I’ll take both my kids now. The woman said ‘oh I’ll just ask the head’ and I was like, there’s no need. I’m taking them.

another time, I’d called to say I was picking my child up as I had to suddenly go out of town. When I got there they didn’t have him ready and I had to insist they give me my child immediately. Cheeky sods.

I think she said she was unwell.

I think that’s because those posters are genuine.

Sounds like the school has difficulty getting parents to engage and attend meetings. Making sure parents can attend and offering childcare whilst they do should be seen as positive. Lots of parents don’t read emails and then use this as an excuse to not follow eg uniform rules etc.
well done to the school

What a horrible experience for you, and no, I don't think any school would have the right to demand that you attend a general meeting which was not convenient for you by keeping your child on the school premises after school against your wishes and without your permission, I would make an official complaint, I think their treatment of the children and parents was reprehensible.

I don't think holding children hostage whilst parents are forced to attend a meeting is a constructive way of increasing parent engagement.

Not normal if you were from mainland Europe, actions like this are against the law,even having a fence or gates or locked doors at school are against the law- childre must enter and be able to leave school at their free will,they are not in jail. Crazy what british parents accept (add to that the school dictating lunches,hair cuts,shoes,clothes,holidays,time off for sick and so on).

But what if you had someone else waiting on you/ somewhere you needed to be

It's not a question of not being arsed, though, is it? Parents may have other children to collect, may have appointments etc - and indeed they may not be there and have arrangements for childminders to collect. There is zero point making childminders go to the meeting.

If parent turned up 25 minutes late to collect their children from this school because they'd been attending a meeting at another school, I suspect the staff would be less than amused.

I'm usually all for supporting the school but this is really ridiculous. Notice given or not, no school has the right to stop a parent collecting their child unless there is a safeguarding concern. Definitely complain to the governors, OP. There are a dozen perfectly good reasons why a parent can't stay.

This is over the top. However you could have just said no I can’t make the meeting today so we’ll just head off. Of course they can’t hold onto your child if you’re there to collect them and it’s the end of the school day

The irony!

I'm sorry but I disagree, schools cannot do this. They have no right keeping children in school for meetings. No parent/school meetings are compulsory. I've 3 children, 1 still in primary and whenever they do meetings it is always 15 minutes after school is finished so parents/child minders are able to collect children 1st. If we state we are attending the meeting they will then say we can leave children in class till meeting is over but this is our own choice and not forced on us

I’d have just taken my child and left if I couldn’t/didn’t want to stay. The school isn’t in charge of you, you don’t have to do everything they say. Don’t be so passive. Other children must have been leaving because many children get collected by after school clubs and childminders who obviously couldn’t stay and weren’t the intended recipients or the meeting. You don’t need to be rude or aggressive, but I’d have just said “I’m sorry I have to get home now”, opened the door assertively and called my child and left without engaging further.

Are you sure this happened? How did it work with children who were being collected by childcare providers? Many children/parents would also have had clubs or appointments or prior engagements to get to. It just seems completely impractical.

If it did happen I would be putting in a strongly worded complaint to the school as this is completely unacceptable.

Without knowing the ins and outs, on the face of it, I find this very short notice and don't have that flexibility in my day.

And unfortunately it is going to be like that for 14 years. I always envied the parents that could let this sort of thing wash over them. I never could. My relationship with schools was generally poor as a result.

Isn't this what the OP was querying? If you are from abroad, it's difficult to know what is allowed and what is not. It's not unheard of that schools overstep the mark.

This never happened with any of the schools my children went to.

thats weird one on school behalf
in my child's school half the parents wouldn't be even present as children would be in after school clubs, and collected way later than that

Given the number of parents who have posted their completely sensible reasons for not being able to attend a meeting at their child's primary school in the middle of the afternoon, ranging from "I have another child to collect fifteen minutes later at a school ten minutes away" to "I am at work from nine to five and am not going to take unpaid leave for this" and pointing out work commitments, possible medical issues or appointments, after-school activities and a myriad other things, I am amazed that any school would think this a good time to require parents to attend a meeting at the school, no matter how much notice they gave.

And for those saying "oh it's no biggie, what's twenty minutes?" and that the OP should just suck it up, I seriously suggest that if they had read the whole thread before posting they would realise how silly that looks given all the posts I've pointed out.

OP, it's a mistake to worry about your rights and the legal ramifications, and certainly a mistake to mention them even here, but you (and anyone else who was caused difficulty by this high-handed behaviour by the school) definitely have grounds for complaint. Be polite, but make sure they know you were very unhappy about what happened and you will not be attending meetings called by them in future without your consent. They can, reasonably, ask for your time; they cannot reasonably demand it.

For the people saying it was only 20 minutes , that is a very long time if u are feeding unwell , however the school are not mind readers so if u didn’t explain that then they haven’t been unreasonable . They should have given u more notice tho so I would let ur kids teacher know in future being notified on the same day is not enough notice unless its an emergency .

Well no probably not but that doesn’t change the rules.

It does not matter if the parents listen or not. Teachers do not have the right to refuse a parent or a person with parental responsibilities to remove their child from school outside of school hours. It matters not how teachers want or feel or if they find parents annoying and it is inconvenient for them. Who do they think they are?

If you read the post again the school day is usually longer in the small print, admittedly this is more common in secondary schools but still.

Honestly the parents on here show me precisely why teachers are leaving the profession