School refused to release my child until after parents’ meeting – is this allowed?

[Sofia14]

Today, I went to collect my child from his primary school (London), but was told I couldn’t take him until after a parents’ meeting. The children were kept waiting in the hall for about 20 minutes.
The school only emailed about the meeting at 10.30am for 3.15pm. The message didn’t say it was compulsory or that kids wouldn’t be released. Staff were abrupt and didn’t apologise. I was unwell and really needed to get home. In the end, the meeting wasn’t urgent at all; it was about who the teachers are, what uniform to wear, and reminders about being polite/etiquette. All of this could easily have been sent by email.

AIBU to think the school had no right to keep my child like this?

Can't believe some of the comments here.
I'd not be OK with this at all, mine are long past primary age, but we had a bus to catch after school somedays and other days I'd nipped out of work to pick them up and drop them at a club. Even with decent notice I'd not be happy.

Hey op i struggle with tone in my second language too. Recommend you run stuff like this through chatgpt.

This is why I ended up homeschooling (doubt if you can even do that in Europe? Idk) the school thinks THEY are in charge of your child and that the parent is the secondary authority. No thanks. I would have just taken my child. I’m totally over public indoctrination and would never again put my children in a public school.

Seriously?! It's a info meeting they haven't kidnapped the kids and held them to ransom nor where there any safeguarding concerns as there was no doubt teachers there the kids weren't allowed with total strangers or to ruin riot alone - really you abta here settle down and stop trying to cause issues

Preparing them for work in a non-unionised job. Staying for 20mins or more after they’ve stopped paying you is seemingly common is such places

You have reached "snowflake level"

Teachers and schools cannot hold any child hostage for their benefit. If my own priorities were important. I would tell them to let me
collect my child now or be prepare for a lawsuit. Do teachers really believe they can hold children hostage for their own benefit?

I’m sorry this happened to you but tbh some of the mums here are being quite harsh you’ve asked for help and all some of them have done is dig you out . That’s not very kind f

They had probably given prior notice and just followed up with the reminder, so not short notice Checking what your rights are is not ideal.

The school was trying to get as many parents in at once. Which is a difficult task as lot don’t engage. Being only two parents at the classroom door was a clue, you should have followed the instructions and gone to the hall and explained why you could not stay.

School have enough to deal with without the whole what are my rights! I’m new to English etc.

A twenty-minute school meeting to establish norms and expectations for that school, and you're up in arms about breaching your parental rights? And talking nonsense about safeguarding? The school doesn't and can't revolve around each parent's individual needs and preferences. It's a community. Grow up.

couldnt you have just said you couldn't stay to the meeting and taken your child home?

Because the go to option is what are my rights! This is everything that is wrong with this Country. Once you would have had a moan when you got home. Not post on social media and straight on Google. It’s not a big deal.

It shouldn't be allowed. The school don't own the children or the parents.

You do not have to explain to any school. teacher or governor why you want to take your child out of school outside school hours. No reason at all needs to be given. The teachers have absolutely no right to keep a child after school hours especially if a parent, or anyone with parental rights asks for rhem to be released. The teachers have overstepped the mark. No reason or excuse has to be given by the parent to the teacher at all whatsoever. even if the email was sent a month or 6 weeks ago.
Its not for this parent to step lightly - the teachers who refused her access to her child has to answer for this. The excuses given, however reasonable they may sound does not justify refusing a parent from.collecting their child. The school is in the wrong and the parent should not be treated as a nuisance.

No but they are trying to do the best by the children. Without parents being difficult because can’t be arsed attending a meeting for 20 mins.

Send an email. Some parents might have appointments or other children to pick up, somewhere to take DC. It's unreasonable to make them all stay for a chat about who's who and what uniform to wear! At least at practically no notice!

What would have happened if the child had had a dentist appointment or something like that?

I don't see how they can just keep children past the end of the day with no notice and no discussion.

Parents do not have to explain to any school. teacher or governor why they want to take their child out of school outside school hours. No reason at all needs to be given. The teachers have absolutely no right to keep a child after school hours especially if a parent, or anyone with parental rights asks for rhem to be released. The teachers have overstepped the mark. No reason or excuse has to be given by the parent to the teacher at all whatsoever. even if the email was sent a month or 6 weeks ago.
Its not for this parent to step lightly - the teachers who refused her access to her child has to answer for this. The excuses given, however reasonable they may sound does not justify refusing a parent from.collecting their child. The school is in the wrong and the parent should not be treated as a nuisance.

If you want parents to attend a 20 minute meeting it's probably a good idea to give more than six hours' notice, no?

You’ll probably find the school day ends at x time to allow for detentions, meetings like this etc etc and it’s a privilege to go at x time. Chances are the school had already emailed regarding the meeting topics but people weren’t listening

No that would annoy me. They have no right to detain your child. I would have barged right in and taken them in this situation. Their opinion wouldn’t matter in the slightest

Is this a private school? As otherwise schools have been back a few weeks now, and this is a strange time to choose for a welcome meeting saying who is who and what uniform is required - that’s information parents needed prior to starting surely?

I also, having taught in various primary schools for over 16 years and having had experience of others through my own DC and through teacher friends, find it vanishingly unlikely that the school would only have announced this today. It’s just not how schools work - what about all the children who would be in after school clubs etc? Didn’t they want to reach those parents who don’t normally collect to make sure they get the information out to as many as possible. They will also know that many parents or childminders are collecting children from other settings, that people have other commitments and travel arrangements.

I’m at every single one of the meetings for my DC (no longer a teacher so I can!) and I think they’re important, but that doesn’t mean schools can compel parents to stay by refusing to release their children and the people defending this idea because ‘it’s only 20 minutes’ are equally baffling to me as the idea of this happening in the first place.

If it happened exactly as you said then yes, a complaint would be well within your ‘rights’ - I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself making my feelings known even though it would probably be wiser to let it go!

No. The school would not be happy if she was 20 minutes late to pick-up each day.

Even if she already has a fraught relationship with the school why should she shut up and stop stewing about it as you so politely put!? (Just2), she's asking for advice, no need ro be so rude.

How odd. Why? When the children have already started school are they talking about uniform, manners, etiquette etc. Where l live this takes place before the end of the summer term, reception children due to start in the September are invited too. Primary school children and parents/carers are never asked to meet up at the end of the school day, without atleast two wks notice...