Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

Total aside bur quote a few of our year 6s hug the TA on their way out. She'll give them like a shoulder squeeze. I've also had teachers carry my non compliant early years kids into school etc. my year 1 also hugged the teacher in reception. The head will also respond if a kid hugs them. I wouldn't want my kids at a school where the only physical contact permitted if in the event of serious injury.

That has nothing to do with this and DH tho.

Oh dear. Children get murdered and maimed in Gaza every day, and here in the UK we wring our hand over a little tap on the head.

Our kids are growing up in an increasingly dangerous world with no resilience to face what might lie ahead and no respect for others. More and more they are allowed to grow up entitled and unchecked - we witness the results of this every day on public transport.

I can tell you dont work in a school or do safeguarding training.

I do.

At our last safeguarding session , one male teacher said he thought it was okay to hug female students when they are leaving the school.

He was told that this was a huge no. Not to do it again. As it can scare the female students. And there is a power imbalance where they will feel in the moment that they cannot say no to his hugs

It was a fucking tap and without evidence of injury the police will do nothing

Do not write a letter. Its basically putting it on paper that he admits he did do it.

It has everything to do with what your DH did

Nothing. You go in and find out what the head wants.

If the head is at all a sensible person, this is a tick box exercise and everyone moves on.

Unless there is more to the story, this is pure storm in a teacup and you are catastrophising the whole thing.

School is probably it just duty bound to speak to your husband about this. I’m sure this will blow over and it won’t impact you going on trips, etc. the school won’t want this to escalate anymore than you do and in terms of the police, they would be knocking your door. He’s been silly - and the falling asleep would irritate the fuck out of me but aside from that, hopefully everyone will make a good recovery.

Would they have even noticed if it was just a tap on the head to get her attention to ask her to stop.

It sounds like that’s all it was. If it was any worse a teacher or someone would have noticed and said something on the bus.

It might be worth your dh mentioning that later today OP

That TA should not be doing that.

It is very much 'how long is a piece of string' question.

If all is as you say here, then your DH will get a telling off and told not to do it again.

If the parent of the other child is (shall we say) forceful. Your DH may not be allowed to supervise again.

However (worse case scenario) the parent could refer it to the DSL, escalate through the system and to the DBS (if your DH needs one) and they will probably say no further action required. Based on your post.

Tapped is minimising language unless it’s literally tapping someone on the arm to get their attention. It sounds like hitting, smacking or slapping.

He says tap. The child will say hit.

They will look for independent witnesses

Definitely don’t write a letter or chase it up your the one in danger of driving a complete non event into a issue for your DH

A security guard (in a school?) Shouldn't be socialising with students or be on pupils' Social media so the heart emoji thing shouldnt happen. Teachers shouldn't give lifts to pupils, it would invalidate their insurance apart from anything else.

These examples are quite different to the example in the OP.

Bloody hell, some of the comments have escalated and OP I think you are panicking which is understandable but I think he will just get a talking to.

keep us updated

He was in a public space in full view of others.
He tapped the only part of the child he could reach so to gain her attention to, once again, ask her to stop.
Most adults would understand his logic.
Fortunately following the rules means something to teachers and schools so your husband will have to explain himself and apologise to the parents.
Was there CCTV on the bus?

The security guard was not on the students social media.

We have a school phone. The students have to text our security guard on the mobile phone if they will be late (boarding school)

It’s not socially acceptable to tap anyone’s child because people seem to think in extremes.

Abuse is fucking horrific and should never happen so now no one ever touches a child. Corporal punishment is absolutely wrong, so now you’re not allowed to tap a child on the head to get their attention.

The world has gone mad and the impact on society will be felt moving forwards.

Tapping as in tapping to get attention is literally what I understood this to mean so not minimising anything. Unless some people use the word to mean something more violent.

Completely irrelevant to the op’s original post - of COURSE a male teacher shouldn’t be hugging female students on the way out of the door, that’s creepy af.

Tapping someone on the head to get their attention is in no way sexual and the idea that a child would need to be “safeguarded” against this is ridiculous

Terrible advise do not write a letter that is making it into a big deal. Seriously what are people thinking . MN making a hurricane in a tea cup

Rubbish. Hrs child was safe next to him and was not able to go anywhere. Nothing wrong with him snoozing next to his OWN child who was fine. He was not responsible for anyone else. It would be different if he was a teacher.Some of these replies are absolutely ridiculous and thank fucking god
my kids are grown up and I don’t have to deal with precious parents overreacting.

I didnt say it was the same example as the op did i.

I said that you have to be so careful when working with teenagers/childrem, as I have seen my colleagues get fired for well -meaning actions.

I am constantly trying to protect myself. I don't go alone in an elevator with the students. I don't go alone in a room with the students. I never touch the students on the shoulder.
We have to message students. I make sure my language is professional all the time In the messages.

Its a lot of pressure.