Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

and if anyone asks why we have such an horrendous teacher recruitment crisis, THIS is far too common and really not helping..

Imagine dealing with THESE parents every day.

Eldest needs 121 for physical reasons so I've always gone as a SAHM. When we had 2 kids in, DH bookedeaved but like this year, I wasn't allowed due to an injury so DH went with eldest and youngest just went with teacher. Only enough parents to meet the ratio are allowed so most parents don't go. If neither of us could have attended DS would have had a TA as 121 and they'd have got a different parent to help.

It's irrelevant if he tapped or something a bit harder. He touched a child. He's not DBS checked by the school so should only have interacted with your child.

Even a teacher would possibly be on thin ice with this.

When is he seeing the head? I would suggest getting the meeting in as soon as possible so it isn’t hanging over you and then really all he can do is reiterate the apology he already gave to the teacher who initially pulled him up about it.

Which? My stupid DH or the poster?

I am pretty sure that this poster means the opposite. That it is the people up in arms about a mild reprimand to a misbehaving child that are "all that's wrong with the country."

OP you are catastrophising in a really unhelpful way. He tapped a kid to get their attention to stop them messing with the chair. The head might say it’s not best practice but there is not going to be police or social services involvement.

Supposition.

'Yes and probably other parent helpers too. Quite possibly they have heard from other witnesses who didn’t think what happened was okay either.'

2.45. He's way more chilled than me usually but is worried it's escalated to formal action so I'm glad at least he's taking the meeting seriously. I don't think that means he's done something he hasn't said he's done.

OP I cannot see how police or SS would be remotely interested.

Rubbish.

I help out with Brownies and no matter how irritating and brattish they can be (and they can be) you tell them off but you never physically tap them or grab them or whatever. You then also tell the parents they were told off for doing x y or z.

They aren't your children so you shouldn't be getting physical with them.

I've agreed with you about it not being ok. What more do you want for something I didn't do?

You'd hope so.

The posters calling for the police.

if the child on front was banging his knees repeatedly and he lightly touched her on the head to say “excuse me - you need to stop doing that” , I really can’t see what the fuss is about. However, he should have alerted a teacher and who knows how hard the tap actually was….obviously if it was a firm tap verging on light smack this is not acceptable. It sounds like the child needed a telling off… I’m so sick of badly behaved children being beyond reproach !

he dealt with it badly… but calling the police sounds a bit much if it was a light tap to get the child’s attention!

Yes, this.

This is the reason that a) Teachers / TA's etc don't want to work in schools; and b) the reason volunteers working with kids all over the country are leaving in their droves.

A tap on the head to get someone's attention who is already excited and giddy really isn't abuse of any nature. In fact it minimises abuse.

There were no "wandering hands". You know what that statement implies, and there is no evidence of that at all. Fuck sake.

It was a stupid thing to do. Never touch someone elses child.

Also he needs to learn to deal with badly behaved children.

I was just on a flight . There was a screaming child the whole time beside me.
If i touched his head i would probably have been arrested.

I know. I do Scouts. He doesn't have any involvement with our pack before anyone gets irate. Even hugs are "turn so everyone can see where my hands are!"

If my child was being annoying, jumping up and down on a seat and trying to goad the person behind into a reaction, I wouldn’t mind if the parent behind tapped them to get their attention and then asked them to stop. I certainly would not be furious about it. Obviously it’s not best practice but it’s hardly the crime of the century is it and surely would not warrant police involvement?!

I think everyone needs to calm down.

He’s been called in to give his version of events. He needs to be clear about what happened, “tapping” could be anything from a gentle tap to get her attention to a thwack. How did he make contact, finger, full palm?

Unless it was quite a sharp blow I can’t see the parents wanting to take it much further. It very much depends what happened.

Dozing isn’t on, I’d be crosser about that because he was entrusted with a supervisory responsibility and you need to know he can be trusted.

I imagine the child’s parents have complained and the head needs to investigate with it being a safeguarding issue. They’ll surely just want his side of the story.

If it really was just a tap on the head I can’t see it being taken any further. It seems like a huge overreaction to me.

It is not ok to tap anyone elses child

This is utterly stupid. Kid was being annoying and had been told to stop umpteen times. An adult tapped her on the head and reminded her to stop - didn't slap, thump, hit, bang: tapped! What utter drivel - parent should apologise to OP's DH for her DD being such an annoying brat. End of.
Save the aggro for real safeguarding, like boys being allowed to share dormitories with adolescent girls because they are 'trans' etc.