Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

It's completely mad.

I can’t imagine the police or social work would get too concerned about this, it wasn’t assault, he tapped a child on the head to get her attention.

As an aside, I’m a primary teacher and if your child requires a 1-2-1 adult on a trip, it’s actually the schools place to provide that 1-2-1. It is not inclusive to make a parent take time off so that their child is able to partake in the same activities as everyone else.

and this is why some children are a bloody nightmare, lazy parenting.

Yes, you intervene when a child is annoying, why do you think it's fair on other children! As an adult, you keep the peace, you don't let the feral one ruining the trip for everyone else, literally your job.

If you don't want other children to retaliate because they have had enough, you stop it immediately.

Well, instructions for school trips and supervision have changed since my last training then.

I'm not saying it is, I'm simply stating a fact. We were up 90imites earlier than usual, it was a long ride, he dosed off unintentionally. And tbh I'm not sure it matters. He shouldn't have touched her regardless. He wouldn't be in trouble for dozing off.

Quite.

Corporal punishment is obviously wrong, but the level of hysteria on here is ridiculous. Police? Really?

Or was she finding it funny that he was falling asleep and was trying to wake him up, thinking it was a game?
Unless everyone thinks that it's ok for their partners to tap them on the head, then it isn't ok to do it to a child.
I can imagine the responses if an OP said she was doing something her FIL didn't like, so was taped on the head by him.

No, but a lot of posters are painting this as a badly behaved child who needed constant reprimanding and telling off. When it sounds more like a giddy child on a school trip messing about in a very minor way. The fact that he was spoken to when getting off the bus suggests that the teacher didn’t think what your DH did was great either.

It's an hour to work. If I made him do drop off at 850 he'd be in work for 10, and leave at 2 for 3pm pick up. Unfortunately I'm going to have to face school alone and hope I don't lose friends. I think there's posters on here who would definitely not association with me again if they knew who I was.

Feral? What was the child doing that was feral?

Why are there no other witnesses ? Parent helpers are still meant to be supervised so surely there would have been an actual teacher nearby

Well it obviously wasn't. I absolutely would expect him to be told off, to be told what to do in future and possibly to have been swapped coaches so the girl didn't see him on the ride home.

Absolutely.

Reminds me of the time some teenage girls gave me and a friend a whole lot of lip because they'd been bullying and being very unpleasant to our much younger DCs who were on the climbing frame and we'd told them to stop. One girl told me she'd report me to her mother and she'd go to the police. That she didn't feel "safe" around me etc. I told her to go ahead. All I'd done was tell her and her friends to leave the two 9 year old boys trying to play on the monkey bars alone. But I could see that she really expected me to apologise to her.

BONKERS.

And I seem as someone who considers herself broadly a not-very-strict parent who is 100% pro giving children automony and respect.

I am glad some posters have some sense on here, sometimes I feel like I am on another planet with the level of over-reaction!

there's some serious over reactions here

Yeah and a lot of them from the OP. Some serious grips need to he had herem

Yes and probably other parent helpers too. Quite possibly they have heard from other witnesses who didn’t think what happened was okay either.

the reactions of posters who are calling for the police and the strongest punishment for getting a child's attention, you can picture how they raise their kids 😂

But you didn’t “tap” her on the head and managed the situation completely appropriately, it’s not comparable at all.

Not at all suggesting that going to the police is the right thing to do on this case, based on what little we know; but the situation you described isn’t the same at all.

Reading this thread I suddenly understand all that is wrong in the country.

I meant informally, Rule one is don't touch kids you don't know. She wasn't injured, she didn't know him and want physical contact (like I'd hug a kid whose Mom I'm friends with or help a child who was in need). He should have known to not touch her in these circs. Obviously he wasn't thinking properly but that's no excuse if he ends up being prosecuted, he loses his job and I have to move my kids from a really good school in my son's final year because everyone knows he's the Dad who hit X all cos he didn't think it through.

Doesn’t really matter why she was doing it (some SEND aside, in which case the teachers needed to manage the situation better).

If I was behaving like an annoying twat I’d deserve a tap on the head to get my attention and told to stop. I’m not the second coming.

You think my husband is all that's wrong with the country? I'm angry but that's a bit much don't you think.

Its all a bit OTT isn't it.
No one's allowed to touch another's child.
So if you see a child running with scissors, just ignore them. If you see a child is about to step in front of a bus, again, don't touch them. Oh another child is having a tough day and wants to hold my hand, sorry kid, can't touch you.

I’m not saying he should have done it, but having worked in and around child safeguarding for over a decade - there’s no way this meets the threshold for police or local authority involvement.

The police wouldn’t even look at it, and anyone else would have to evidence that it met the “harm threshold,” in that the intent was to cause harm to the child. It wouldn’t get anywhere close.

The school might advise he doesn’t chaperone anymore, or has some training (which if he’s not employed by them he doesn’t have to), but I would be very surprised if any formal action was taken.

I agree with this. They will ask other children if they saw what happened. If he'd hit her hard she would have cried?