Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

I'm pretty sure the child will have said "David's dad hit me!" and the teachers and head are just going on a fact finding mission. He just needs to tell the whole story truthfully, and express that he realises that it wasn't ideal that he tapped her and in future he would get a teacher.

I'm also pretty certain that he'll just get reminded that he shouldn't touch children he isn't related to, and maybe get advised that he can't attend future trips. I'd be gobsmacked if anything more became of it.

My bad, I misunderstood the context!

Thanks for outlining that because it did seem very odd

When my daughter was at secondary school, her violin teacher used to have to touch her chin and her shoulder and her arm at times in order to get her to hold the violin at the right position. Was he abusing her? I think you need to get a grip and stop spreading misinformation. Stop digging!

"To say You can never touch a child is insane".

Oh my god. I honestly cannot believe the people on here. They are not living in reality. This thread is unreal

Of course you cannot touch a child in secondary school. That is standard practice

She's provided a referenced quote with a definition of abuse, by an established organisation. It's not open for interpretation. What part of her message do you think is wrong?!

That is very weird.

Why did he not tell her what to do?

My music teacher in secondary school never ever touched me.

For goodness sake.

This post quite possibly answers the question that so many of us ask.. where did it all go wrong?

Imagining the scenario, even reenacting it, it sounds as if he has tapped the kid as a means of getting their attention before telling them, yet again, to pack it in.

He hasn't punched, slapped, aggressively and violently assulated this child nor has he abused this child In any way. He also, by the sounds of it, hasnt committed a crime.

If the parents are over reacting in the same way some of the people in these comments are then what is that teaching the child?
This whole scenario should be discussed in a way of.. where did the kid go wrong.(their response of ignoring the request/instruction the first time round) and where did the adult go wrong (they were maybe frustrated but a normal emotion to the situation however how could they have handled it differently) and how could this scenario be handled better, by both parties, should it ever happen again.

Each has played a part but the responses of phoning the police, I would be so angry etc .. is where we are going wrong. What does putting all the blame onto the adult in this case teach this child? And how will it fuel their future behaviours - especially around adults trying to instruct/discipline them.

As for him sleeping, not an issue.

I think that all of her message is wrong

The requirements are the same for all schools.
If touching a child was abuse teachers, housemasters and mistresses would have to walk around in a bubble. I wonder how matron copes
My kids went to boarding school, this isn’t a thing

What am I wrong about, which bit exactly?
I literally quoted KCSIE, the statutory guidance published by the Department for Education for schools and colleges in England that provides legal duties that schools have to follow to safeguard children. So are you saying the Department of Education are also wrong? Just so I understand you correctly, you genuinely think you know more about safeguarding than the people tasked with writing safeguarding legislation?

Yes, I work with children. I am a Designated Safeguarding Lead in a school. I have worked with children and teenagers and been involved in multi-agency safeguarding processes for over 20 years. Before anyone comes for me, I'm at home today because I have a child recovering from surgery!

Do you work with minors? I bet not. Another armchair enthusiast who hasn't a fucking clue what goes on.

Because my daughter is a bit dyspraxic. She needed him to help coordinate the movements of her arm and shoulder to hold the violin as she was getting neckache and didn’t ‘get it’ from instructions. It really doesn’t require much imagination.

I think you either need to get some humility and admit you are wrong, or slink away quietly from the thread. But I’m guessing you will continue to flog a dead horse, despite looking like a bit of a fool.

I am still waiting for the link to national guidance btw.

Absolutely Agree
but I’m moving on now as some comments on here are ridiculous

Just Waiting for OP to come back with updates

Yes I think she is taking the piss now.

They're not the ones who are (very, very) wrong.

Giving a child a high five (with appropriate pressure) is not abuse. Nor is a fist bump, sideways hug or a handshake, in appropriate contexts. Grabbing or body blocking a child who is attempting to run into a road... not abuse. Restraining a child who is being violent towards themself or others is not abuse. A gymnastics teacher adjusting posture using appropriate and minimal touch with consent is not being abusive. A horseriding teacher doing the same, is not abusive.

Tapping a child on a non-private part of their body with one or to fingers to get their attention is not assault.

Do you? Genuinely, what is your job if not a teacher or a TA and on annual leave in an English school right now?

You really need to pay more attention to your safeguarding training. Touching a child is obviously not abuse. Children may need personal care, a hand hold, hand over hand to show them how to use/do something, team teach restraining, the list goes on. It’s worrying you went on safeguarding training and came out with ‘touching a child is abuse’ because it really really minimises actual abuse to children.

also, you keep going on and on about secondary- this thread is about a primary aged child. So talking about secondary is not really relevant.

No I certainly will not admit i am wrong. Because I am not wrong.

I have had special needs students and i have never once touched them

Why doesnt your daughter's violin teacher touch violin, not her? There is no need for him to touch your daughter

Doesn't seem like a big deal tbh, but we are in an over sensitive generation.

Worst case he gets a formal warning I think. Even if he lost his job, I suspect it will be easy to find something else.

That's not true, when I had instrumental lessons as a child the teacher had to touch us sometimes, she wasn't a child abuser that's just part of learning a musical instrument!

He can't get a formal warning or lose his job because he doesn't work for the school

And some sports too. Physical contact is inevitable on some occasions.

You think the head could give a parent a formal warning? He doesn't work for the school. How could he lose his job over this anyway?

No that's not correct. I dont work as an admin.

You can't even get the information right from one thread to another!

I've reported you as you are not meant to bring (incorrect) info from one thread to another.