Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

Of course they do

Oh no, course not. Anything to blame someone else for the fact that THEY have raised an ill mannered little brat.

Primary teacher here, 25 years as a class teacher and primary supply for the last 12 years. Looking at some posts here, I feel I’ve entered a weird parallel reality. All these posts saying teachers will be sacked if they hug a child or make any kind of physical contact! I’ve worked in loads of primary schools and of course distressed kids will get a hug or comforting arm when appropriate. Staff who are younger and trendier than me have been known to do high fives with the children. Teachers and TAs are regularly sent on training (provided by a group called Team Teach in my area) on how to use safe physical restraints when necessary. I’ve only had to use such a restraint once (to stop a boy punching a classmate), I wrote a report afterwards explaining that I’d used a Team Teach restraint and there were no consequences for me whatsoever. Of course, staff who are one to one with exceptionally aggressive and disturbed children have to use these techniques on a regular basis. So there may be schools that will sack a teacher for giving an upset child a hug, but I’ve yet to encounter one. I can’t comment on what happens in secondary schools as I’ve never worked in one.

What???!! Concerns from school about his behaviour at home down to a tap on the head?!
That’s ridiculous.

Also people are continually contradicting themselves on here.

People wrote:

"of course male teachers should not hug female students. That is disgusting".

Now they are writing that it is disgusting that teachers do NOT hug students.

Make your minds up!

For what it’s worth adults definitely touch children at my school, high fives, will hold hands with children if needed. Hugs for younger children too. I presume protected by not being alone with children? Parent volunteers will also hold hands with younger children when walking on school trips.

He doesn’t work for the school though. He’s there’s a volunteer for his own child. They can ask him not to return but they can’t sack him from a job he doesn’t have,

If this was someone asking as a teacher god what might happen the answer is disciplinary or whatever but he’s not employed by them. So people are making a lot of drama about something that is likely to be a slap on the wrist and reminded about appropriateness.

So all this talk about social services and the police is ridiculous

I don't know who taught you that, because that's not something I have ever seen in any of the safeguarding training.

You are on MN and not in a school right now, so I am not sure I entirely believe your "experience" 😂

I don't believe you.

Well yes let’s just stretch the story to make it seem more aggressive than it actually was 🙄 Let’s hope your child has better manners and behaviour than this girl, with your high and mighty attitude. He was wrong in what he did, on all counts, but the girl also should be able to behave at that age.

Ever heard of people having annual leave? Yea we do get holidays.

I am not working this week.

School safeguarding lead here.

The HT will, understandably, want to hear your DH's version of events. This is standard practice when a member of staff or a child raises any sort of concern or complaint about someone who was volunteering in school or on a trip.
It may be that the parents of the Y4 child have contacted the school to complain, or they may not be overly concerned if they know it was addressed with him by the Teacher leading the trip at the time. This will depend the parents, how they react to situations generally but also what their child has told them.

A parent helper lightly tapping a child on the head with an open hand (or "one finger" I think you said in one of your later posts, OP?) will be of absolutely no interest to the Police. We have had children in school whose parents have admitted to hitting them regularly but because they did not use a closed fist or an implement and they did not cause a visible injury the Police have said there is nothing they can do as no crime has been commited. If the Year 4 child's parents do contact the Police the most they would do is speak to your DH to give him words of advice. If the child says he "hit" her on the head then that would be another matter, but unless someone was able to verify her account it would be highly unlikely to go anywhere. Rightly or wrongly, your DH isn't going to be criminally prosecuted based solely on the word of a child and no other evidence.

I do think you need to prepare yourself for your DH being told he won't be able to take part in any more school trips. I don't think they'll ban him from the school site altogether, but they may ask that when he comes into school he avoids interacting with children other than his own.

So utterly immature. Why not? Look them up then. Google is your friend.

Were you hugged patted and petted in secondary school in England? I certainly wasnt. No teacher touched me

*nocoolnamesleft · Today 11:28
So he went as a supervisor, went to sleep instead of supervising, then hit another child on the head?
No. However that is such an amazing spin that Alistair Campbell would have been proud of it back in the day!!!

Are the same people making both comments or are they different people, with different opinions?

god knows what school you worked in, because your posts have nothing to do with the safety guidelines I"ve ever come across, or other posters have either by the sound of it!

Ive seen three people in my school get fired for less than what this man did.
ONLY 3, you are sure? 😂

For what, forgetting to say please, before telling a child to stop beating another one or something? You are talking absolute nonsense.

If the police are involved it would be highly unlikely the head would be seeing him. They would not want to interfere in a police investigation.

The head might want to confirm details for their records so they can response to a parent complaint etc.

Adding my name to the Glad My Child Doesn’t Go To Your School List 😀

Absolute twaddle that there are national guidelines that teachers should be sacked for hugging a child.

You’re also really shouty & sweary at strangers on the internet. Hope you don’t get this aggressive with children 🤨

Really no need to twist the story 🤷‍♀️

I am sure you have annual leave the first or second week the school is back, it makes total sense 😂

A grown male tapping a child on the head out of irritation and frustration, yes school will be concerned about what goes on at home.
What he did is not acceptable in any way.

I didn’t think teachers got annual leave? lol

It's about not repulsing a child's approach not about forcing unwanted hugs on them. Can't you see a difference? I wouldn't say to a child 'Come over here because I want a hug' but if they were upset, for example, and wanted some physical contact and comfort I would let them.

---

I work in a school. Do you? Lets establish that first.

Also answer this: did teachers pat, pet and hug you in secondary school when you were in one?

Of course it is not fucking allowed