Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

No she was looking at him AFTER bouncing on the chair in front of him to see his reaction. She warranted being told off and I'd have told the teacher or told her off loudly enough for ax teacher to hear.

I have retired so no longer work there. It would have been incredibly sad to have to back away from a child seeking affection from a trusted teacher. I don't think I could have stood working in that atmosphere, I would have been failing the children in my care.

No, I’ve inferred it from the title of the thread.

Also from the fact that he apologised when the teacher raised it; why would you even apologise for just getting someone’s attention?

But mainly - it says so in the title of the thread.

That would have been a better reaction. Although I’d have asked for her to be moved away at the first possible opportunity to stop the coach

I have very little to add, other than this meme, which seems appropriate.

I read the title as 'touched [in order to] reprimand' not that the touch was the reprimand.

What a load of drama ! After the parents complaint the Head will have made some investigations about what happened and wants to hear your DH side. If DH is telling the truth and it was only a mild tap then no doubt the Head will remind him not to touch or discipline another child and leave him at that . Even if police are called they won’t prosecute him for “a tap” !

No punishment because surely telling her to stop is would have been enough?

Everyone is turning this into a way bigger deal than it needed to be.

I agree. Just hope the parents can see that. I have a feeling they won't though 😬

Its really fucking annoying me the people writing "what a load of drama".

They have no idea of child safety guidelines, or the pressure that people who work with children are under.

Ive seen three people in my school get fired for less than what this man did.

If the op's husband was a teacher, he would have been fired and banned from the teaching profession for life

I'm genuinely glad my kids aren't at your school. That is so hugely damaging. There's perfectly safe ways to have physical contact with a child which isn't only holding their leg on if it's going to fall off

You'd apologise because of the blanket no touching rule I suppose - in a sense, it doesn't really matter why he did it, because he did do it.

And again, the op has replied to clarify that the tap itself was not a reprimand, but a way of getting the child's attention before reprimanding them.

'Husband touched a kid to get their attention in order to verbally reprimand them' isn't exactly a snappy title is it, though it would be more accurate. I can see why jurors arrive at different conclusions! Language is important.

So he was trying to sleep, got irritated by a child in front of him pushing her chair back, and reacted by reaching over the chair and “tapping” her on the head?

Would he have done the same if it was an adult sitting in front of him, pushing their child back?

The Head will have to do an external safeguarding report to the LA. Your Husband will be barred from the school premises. Expect concerns from school as to his behaviour at home.

Nothing will happen. The head will ask what happened, they’ll say probably best not to do that and kindly suggest you go on trips in future. Job done

I agree, but this is the situation that many teachers find themselves in.

I was replying to someone else suggesting the child needed to be punished. I agree with you.

He said the teacher on Friday said the child said a tap on the head too. I guess it's whether her parents consider it him getting her attention or him reprimanding her by tapping her, as I appreciate there's a huge difference

Language is important, and revealing. People don’t tap other people’s heads to get their attention. People, sadly, do “tap” children’s heads to reprimand them. I’m not at all suggesting any type of violet assault but think it likely that it wasn’t a very kind action from OP’s DH, and when irritated with a child, one should be even more careful about “tapping” them to get their attention.

I imagine the parents are blowing this out of proportion and kicking up a fuss. It doesn’t sound like he actually did anything outrageous - if it was just a tap to get her attention.

As an aside, the teachers at my son’s school hug the children. It’s only if the child initiates it, from what I’ve seen.

Shame they are not there to prevent child abuse, but there you go.

That’s so sad. What a horrible and clinical school you must work at. I had a very distressed 5 year old in class today. She was so upset she was hurting herself. She wanted a hug and so she sat on my knee and I held her as she calmed down. The TA was right there so I wasn’t alone with the child. I couldn’t possibly watch a distressed small child cry and cry and just not offer comfort.

Primary teacher here, 25 years as a class teacher and primary supply for the last 12 years. Looking at some posts here, I feel I’ve entered a weird parallel reality. All these posts saying teachers will be sacked if they hug a child or make any kind of physical contact! I’ve worked in loads of primary schools and of course distressed kids will get a hug or comforting arm when appropriate. Staff who are younger and trendier than me have been known to do high fives with the children. Staff are regularly sent on training (provided by a group called Team Teach in my area) on how to use safe physical restraints when necessary. I’ve only had to use such a restraint once (to stop a boy punching a classmate), I wrote a report afterwards explaining that I’d used a Team Teach restraint and there were no consequences for me whatsoever. Of course, staff who are one to one with exceptionally aggressive and disturbed children have to use these techniques on a regular basis. So there may be schools that will sack a teacher for giving an upset child a hug, but I’ve yet to encounter one.

So fucking naive it is unreal.

These are guidelines for schools in all of England, not just my school

I actually can’t believe what I’m reading here.
We are doing something really wrong in this country if an adult gets told off for tapping an annoying year 6 girl on the head.
My DD was a year 6 girl once and my god was she annoying along with all her friends, especially her friends. They all thought they were cool and could do no wrong. I pitied their teacher sometimes, I really did.
The teachers/TA’s should have stepped in and reprimanded this girl and maybe have moved her to the front of the coach, next to them, so she couldn’t annoy anyone else.
Your DH didn’t do anything wrong in my eyes.

My school follows English national guidelines.

How do people not realise that teachers are not allowed to touch children?

I cant believe that people didnt know this?