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Original poster

Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

792 replies

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:25

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

OP posts:
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Booneymil · 15/09/2025 13:51

Pregnancyquestion · 15/09/2025 13:46

God the drama llamas on this post. Your DH made a mistake. I imagine they will tell him that he shouldn’t have done whatever he’s done, either he will be told not to come on any more trips or he will be asked to do some training. The school have no more power over him. So they can’t do anything else.

And if they decide to report it to the police, well in my experience of the police they’re just looking for a reason to shut down any referrals. So a tap on the head isn’t going to result in criminal charges is it, tapped on the head to be told to sit down is hardly a criminal offence. It’s an issue for the school I’m sure but not for the police

Spot the person that does not work with children

DrPrunesqualer · 15/09/2025 13:51

ViciousCurrentBun · 15/09/2025 13:46

I was tapped on the head at school once by a teacher, I had fits for 3 years after almost dying from encephalitis as a child and was under consultant care. My Mother stormed up that school and played merry hell.

Really he should have just got the Teacher to intervene.

I think you’ll find it wasn’t a tap on the head that caused that

Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip
CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 13:51

TeddySchnauzer · 15/09/2025 13:48

Imagine this scenario: Kid is discovered dead after having been getting beaten on a daily basis at home by their father. It later transpires that the very same father was documented by the school, to have physically reprimanded a child on a school trip a few years prior, but the school never reported it for fear of it being seen as dramatic. What would you think to this? I’m pretty certain you’d declaring the school to have neglected their duty and to have let that poor child down on a grand scale.
So you can say “FFS” all you like and roll your eyes into the back of your head but this ⬆️ is precisely why these requirements exist.

Edited
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as long as you are not over-reacting...we're good.

OctopusFriend · 15/09/2025 13:52

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 13:49

I don't think anyone's suggesting it's ideal, but that it isn't tantamount to neglect and a dereliction of duties like some people are implying. It's also irrelevant to what happened

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Ok. I actually don't think it's irrelevant, because he was obviously tired, and roused from sleep, which isn't great.

FrippEnos · 15/09/2025 13:53

Catpiece · 15/09/2025 13:42

Things like what?? A tap on the head? When my dh was at secondary school a kid was dangled by his ankles over a cliff on a school trip by the teacher.

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Yes, things like tapping a child on the head.

If the teacher that dangled a kid by his ankles over a cliff did that today his feet wouldn't touch the floor on his way out of the school.

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 13:54

Its scary how little people know the rules are for working with children. Its frightening.

In my school

Tap/pat a child - fired straightaway
Hug a child- fired straightaway

It was the same in the last school i was in

Rosscameasdoody · 15/09/2025 13:54

TeddySchnauzer · 15/09/2025 13:40

I would imagine social services will be called to investigate how things are at home. Schools are mandatorily required to report any suggestions that there might be violence at home. This is a very clear suggestion of it, regardless of whether he is or not!

Utterly ridiculous post. Of course social services won’t be called - do you think they have nothing better to do. ?

AllTheChaos · 15/09/2025 13:54

ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 11:48

Would you push for the police to prosecute him for child abuse / assault or whatever the charge is?

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Sorry this made laugh - in no way shape or form would this meet the threshold for any of those things! On a serious note, people get away with actual violence to children because of resource challenges in support and safety organisations, no one in authority has time to prosecute someone for something that doesn’t meet thresholds for violence or abuse.

Bumblebee72 · 15/09/2025 13:54

CalmHiker · 15/09/2025 13:51

I have similar photos from my school, thank god the real world is not completely ruined by people like you.

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It's not me that makes the rules. The rules are to protect adults from crazy parents.

IdaGlossop · 15/09/2025 13:54

Adding my voice to those saying this is being blown out of proportion. What happens next will depend on the attitude of the parents of the Y4. OP's DH shouldn't have tapped the Y4 on the head but he did. Now he needs to apologise in front of the head without going overboard.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/09/2025 13:55

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/09/2025 13:44

On a moving coach?

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Yes, that would be extremely easy for an adult to do. Much as people get up and go to the loo on the coach. It’s not a rollercoaster!

Catpiece · 15/09/2025 13:55

FrippEnos · 15/09/2025 13:53

Yes, things like tapping a child on the head.

If the teacher that dangled a kid by his ankles over a cliff did that today his feet wouldn't touch the floor on his way out of the school.

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That’s right because kids are being brought up to be snowflakes with no resilience. God knows how they’re going to cope going forwards. It was a tap on the head, not a whack with a mallet. Jeez. Get a grip

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 13:55

Bumblebee72 · 15/09/2025 13:54

It's not me that makes the rules. The rules are to protect adults from crazy parents.

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Exactly!

Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged · 15/09/2025 13:56

Goodness me some posters need to calm down!
Assuming no embellishments have been added nothing will happen. Although I doubt he’ll be attending anytime soon for future events.
Even with embellishments, the police will not intervene. They would have been round already, they don’t ask the school to deal with issues on their behalf.
They most likely want a statement from him.
As a parent. If I heard this I’d accept that children can be unruly and need guidance. She probably needed guidance to behave appropriately. But. Never touch a child to reprimand them.

Whatafustercluck · 15/09/2025 13:57

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/09/2025 13:34

The OP said to reprimand in the first post. Nothing about getting her attention.

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No, you've assumed that meaning is inferred by he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop but it doesn't actually say it was a reprimand, and could just have easily been inferred as a tap to get attention before telling her to stop - which the op has since clarified was in fact the case.

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 13:57

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/09/2025 13:41

I have often put my arm round a child who was upset or even had them on my knee if that's what they wanted, should I have pushed away a child who spontaneously wanted to hug me or who leaned on me while they were reading? These were Early Years children, it obviously wouldn't be the same with teenagers but older children in Primary need comforting if they're upset or hurt.

The whole thing with the security guards is something I have never had to deal with I imagine it's a nightmare. At my secondary school a builder working on a flat roof had to be told to keep his shirt on as he was distracting us girls. I did a painting of him in Art Class. It's a potential minefield but far away from working with 4 snd 5 year olds.

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I used to work in a primary school. If they came for a hug, we were taught to back away. Under no circumstances were we allowed to touch them

What is the safeguarding policy in your school.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/09/2025 13:57

DrPrunesqualer · 15/09/2025 13:44

She kept looking round between the gap in the chairs to see his reaction. She wasn’t just moving about in her seat. To me this means she was deliberately annoying him and seeing if he’d react.

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A child was looking at him? Oh my goodness, how did he cope?

UndoneProgress · 15/09/2025 13:58

You are catastrophising I think. I doubt your husband is going to lose his job over this.

As a parent I would find it odd to hear that a random man had tapped my kid on the head. But I wouldn’t take it any further unless there was more to it.

Catpiece · 15/09/2025 13:58

IdaGlossop · 15/09/2025 13:54

Adding my voice to those saying this is being blown out of proportion. What happens next will depend on the attitude of the parents of the Y4. OP's DH shouldn't have tapped the Y4 on the head but he did. Now he needs to apologise in front of the head without going overboard.

Up before the head like he’s in year 6. Poor bloke. Hope he says his piece

MistressIggi · 15/09/2025 13:58

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 13:54

Its scary how little people know the rules are for working with children. Its frightening.

In my school

Tap/pat a child - fired straightaway
Hug a child- fired straightaway

It was the same in the last school i was in

And yet, children high five staff, are sometimes hugged when upset, are restrained when a fight is being broken up - it has to be case by case, and there are procedures to be followed.

Birdy1982 · 15/09/2025 14:00

The coach will have CCTV which whilst it probably won’t show what led up to it, should show your husbands actions.
Duty of care - they need to investigate & report to other authorities if warranted

DrPrunesqualer · 15/09/2025 14:00

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/09/2025 13:57

A child was looking at him? Oh my goodness, how did he cope?

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Read OPs posts.
She wasn’t just looking at him. She was being disruptive deliberately and looking back for a reaction.
She sounds like she’s the sort of kid that needs an adult their to stop her being deliberately disruptive
If I was the head I’d insist on that in future trips

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 15/09/2025 14:00

Shmee1988 · 15/09/2025 13:42

When you say he 'tapped' her are we talking an actual tap, with his finger? Like an 'excuse me' tap or a really light slap to the head? These two things are very different and if the former, how can anyone be getting worked up about it? Has he shown you what he did?

A one finger of excuse me, stop being annoying (not an actual quote) not a tap of that'll stop you misbehaving, thwack

OP posts:
OctopusFriend · 15/09/2025 14:03

MistressIggi · 15/09/2025 13:58

And yet, children high five staff, are sometimes hugged when upset, are restrained when a fight is being broken up - it has to be case by case, and there are procedures to be followed.

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Not allowed to high five either staff or students where I work.
Hands Off - is the policy all round.

Booneymil · 15/09/2025 14:03

MistressIggi · 15/09/2025 13:58

And yet, children high five staff, are sometimes hugged when upset, are restrained when a fight is being broken up - it has to be case by case, and there are procedures to be followed.

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No child has ever high fived me in a school. If a child has ever come to me for a hug (it very rarely happens) i have been taught to back away and not touch them

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