Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

My dd would actually be very upset if her affection was rejected by her favourite teacher/ TA. We've spoken to her about what constitutes inappropriate and unwanted touching by an adult but dd instigates it and it is just a quick squeeze of thanks/ goodbye or appreciation. I actually feel sad that her teacher could be reprimanded so heavily for having a nurturing relationship that has really helped my child settle. It sounds like I should probably be discouraging her from doing it though, I don't want her teacher getting in trouble!

It doesn’t matter. He should use his voice to get her attention if he needed to. Or walk round to in front of her. Or alert a teacher.

I’m not convinced she was doing anything wrong by having the temerity to move about on her own seat - just not making herself responsible for a grown man’s comfort- who should have been awake and kept his knee off her seat!

I have often put my arm round a child who was upset or even had them on my knee if that's what they wanted, should I have pushed away a child who spontaneously wanted to hug me or who leaned on me while they were reading? These were Early Years children, it obviously wouldn't be the same with teenagers but older children in Primary need comforting if they're upset or hurt.

The whole thing with the security guards is something I have never had to deal with I imagine it's a nightmare. At my secondary school a builder working on a flat roof had to be told to keep his shirt on as he was distracting us girls. I did a painting of him in Art Class. It's a potential minefield but far away from working with 4 snd 5 year olds.

I think you're catastrophising a bit op
He'll most likely not be permitted to accompany again hope the meeting goes well

Things like what?? A tap on the head? When my dh was at secondary school a kid was dangled by his ankles over a cliff on a school trip by the teacher.

When you say he 'tapped' her are we talking an actual tap, with his finger? Like an 'excuse me' tap or a really light slap to the head? These two things are very different and if the former, how can anyone be getting worked up about it? Has he shown you what he did?

What utter nonsense. Stop winding the poster up. They obviously have some mental health and anxiety issues and you spouting rubbish is unhelpful.

Why can’t he walk round to in front of her and crouch down to her level? That would be how to communicate with a child.

If a man reached forward from behind - even as an adult - and tapped me on the head I wouldn’t feel comfortable turning my back on them again for the whole journey and would need to move seats.

FFS.

On a moving coach?

Tapping an irritating child on the head (to presumably get their attention so you can tell them to give it a rest)? What an absolute non event! Your poor husband. What deranged world we live in where giving a kid a minor ticking off is seen as having committed an act of violence 🙄

She kept looking round between the gap in the chairs to see his reaction. She wasn’t just moving about in her seat. To me this means she was deliberately annoying him and seeing if he’d react.

It is a nightmare working in a school

Especially as we are given training on what is best practice, and then we are forced to do things that are bad practice because they are understaffed

Especially if he’d fallen and landed on or fell against a kid.

Shitty kids generally have shitty parents - its why you get so many apologists for poor behaviour on many of these threads.

I was tapped on the head at school once by a teacher, I had fits for 3 years after almost dying from encephalitis as a child and was under consultant care. My Mother stormed up that school and played merry hell.

Really he should have just got the Teacher to intervene.

No wonder social services and the police have gone down the pan. Why would anyone contact them for such a non event. This kind of trivia is the ruination of this country

God the drama llamas on this post. Your DH made a mistake. I imagine they will tell him that he shouldn’t have done whatever he’s done, either he will be told not to come on any more trips or he will be asked to do some training. The school have no more power over him. So they can’t do anything else.

And if they decide to report it to the police, well in my experience of the police they’re just looking for a reason to shut down any referrals. So a tap on the head isn’t going to result in criminal charges is it, tapped on the head to be told to sit down is hardly a criminal offence. It’s an issue for the school I’m sure but not for the police

Imagine this scenario: Kid is discovered dead after having been getting beaten on a daily basis at home by their father. It later transpires that the very same father was documented by the school, to have physically reprimanded a child on a school trip a few years prior, but the school never reported it for fear of it being seen as dramatic. What would you think to this? I’m pretty certain you’d declaring the school to have neglected their duty and to have let that poor child down on a grand scale.
So you can say “FFS” all you like and roll your eyes into the back of your head but this ⬆️ is precisely why these requirements exist.

I can’t believe how much people are blowing this out of proportion. If my DS was behaving like a brat I would have no problem with someone tapping his head to get his attention. It’s a complete non-event. The poor teachers and volunteers that have to put up with such ridiculous rules. When DS left reception the teacher gave them all a hug and a little kiss on their heads as she said goodbye to them. All in front of the parents and I thought how wonderful it was to actually have an adult that cares about them and can actually interact with them like a human. Instead we have to act like robots, no touching and no emotion can be shown, heaven forbid you upset the little darlings by shouting! (Gasp!)

I think you could have a good point

such a none event and the hysterics about it being violence on this thread and reporting to the police🙄
I feel incredibly sorry for teachers who have to work around this bs for fear of losing their jobs and it explains why so many kids think they can get away with anything, when I light tap on the head because they’re being a dick becomes such absolute drama and something to complain about

I don't think anyone's suggesting it's ideal, but that it isn't tantamount to neglect and a dereliction of duties like some people are implying. It's also irrelevant to what happened

I have similar photos from my school, thank god the real world is not completely ruined by people like you.

I feel like I've entered an alternative universe, why all this talk of police?! Obviously not what he should have done, however if my daughter came home and said one of the parent helpers tapped her on the head, I would have asked her what she was doing, and if she admitted to being that annoying my response would be well it serves you right for messing about, discussion closed. It wouldn't even enter my head to call the school or the police