Husband touched a kid to reprimand them on school trip

[ToddlerIs2]

Husband went on school ltrip with yr 6 dc as our DC"s 121 so only responsible for him. Yr 4 girl in front was being annoying all journey. Husband asked her to stop several times. He dozed off and she banged the seats again (so banding onto her knee) and he lent over and tapped her on the head and told her to stop. Off the coach the teacher spoke to him and he said sorry, didn't think etc. now head wants to see him. What's the likely consequences? We have a lot going on and I'm not holding it all together very well so at home so don't know how irrational I am. He's never smacked out kids so I know it won't have been a smack to the head etc and it was only when she got off she told the teacher. I'm absolutely fuming because how did he forget to never touch someone else's child? And obviously there's an angry parent there that there's a grown man who's touched their daughter so school will probably have to make an example of him. Any ideas what's likely to happen?

You are over reacting to the extreme. You might need to think about seeking professional help for anxiety or catastrophing because your behaviour isn't normal.

This is literally nothing. Zero. Irrelevant. No one is calling the police, and even if they did it'll go in the bin. Social services aren't coming to your house. Your husband isn't being banned from school. Your response to him is insane.

The best thing you can do now is log off this forum, put this out your mind til this afternoon and deal with the load of nothingness that comes from it when it happens.

What do you think a suitable punishment would be for bouncing around in her seat a bit, but staying seated, on a long coach journey?

But who are you to decide who.is to be touched. That child on the bus did not want to be touched by a man
Her opinon is important

Perhaps we should ban all males from all school environments. That way everyone will be safe from the nasty scary males of our species...

(sarcasm in case it needs pointing out)

Of course safe guarding is important. Really important. But take several steps back, and look at what safe guarding is about. It's about protecting kids (or vulnerable people in general) from abuse. Tapping a child once on the head is NOT abuse. Not even close.

Yet half of MN is up in arms and about to descend on the school with pitch forks.

I despair. This is just minimising true abuse cases.

Maybe that would have involved leaning further over and would have seemed weirder. 🤷‍♀️

Duplicate

Its a big lesson for him.

Did they give him safeguarding training before he went on a trip with a lot of children?

Stop being unreasonable and mega dramatic

People are get into a panic about this was your husband given any instructions, is there a list of things he should already shouldn’t do but he’s ignored? A tap on the head or shoulder is the way that teachers communicate with a child in front of them. It’s quick and easy. Nothing will happen. You’ve got enough on your plate.

I don't think dozing off is necessarily unacceptable. He was there to support his own child, and presumably knows whether that is or is not safe. It's not as if his child came to any harm.

Why?

In this scenario, your daughter is misbehaving and not responding to verbal requests to stop the behaviour so someone taps her on the head to get her attention and tell her to stop. You’d be unhappy with the adult using a tap to get her attention rather than the daughter misbehaving?

I genuinely despair.

If tapping a child on the head is not abuse, why has this man been called into see the head teacher.

You are very naive

It's irrelevant if they 'push', police won't prosecute just because a parent wants them to, it has to meet minimum evidential requirements and be in the public interest. If what you have said is accurate, and it was a tap to get her attention, while misguided of him, there is absolutely nil chance that CPS would prosecute, even if the family reported it to the police. Tapping a child on the head to get their attention isn't assault, even if it did make her jump. No amount of parents jumping and down is going to make this turn into a charge, unless he has deliberately threatened her, or it was substantially more than a 'tap'

But that would be so much worse? If you’re on a coach, the top of the head is the easiest thing to reach. A light tap to get her attention and tell her to back off won’t traumatise her, it will at best teach her some manners.

Well yes personally I wouldn’t have tried to tap anywhere and I don’t think he had any need to, I just think the idea that it’s totally normal to “tap” people on the head for attention is a really odd one. It’s never happened to me anyway.

No, but he was there to supervise, which he cannot do asleep, of course.

I despair at your attitude.

You do not touch a child unless they are injured.

People on here need safeguarding training

This story all does seem to be a storm in a teacup, though. And I too have worked in a school and you do not touch the children ever - except PE, I think, if showing how to do something. I would say teaching a musical instrument too - though that is not done in state schools anymore (along with Latin and all the other stuff that separates the elite from the rest of us!).

Mumsnet is really not going to help here OP, it's just freaking you out more. Nothing is going to happen other than maybe a couple of weeks of tense school runs. Most people wouldn't give this tap on the head a second thought, most people can clearly envisage the type of tap over a bus seat, most people know the type of irritation bumping chairs into knees and peeping through the gap could cause. Obviously none of it is ideal but that's life.

We could all live in bubbles never to be touched by anyone . I give up. I was a teacher for 30 years I'm so glad I'm not now the reactions on here are insane.

Thank you so much for this insightful, common sense response.
All will be OK OP, I can totally understand your husband's reaction in the moment

How is he hiding? He's going to the meeting, at the time requested. Do you want him to quit his job do so pick ups for the next year in the hope that the kids will point him out to the parent and the parent can then point him out to everyone else? Put his phoo alongside our son's so everyone knows who's Dad it was? I completely get all the angry posts but accusing him of hiding because he doesn't do the school run is just plain silly.

Id say he will be banned from future trips. He is not a staff member so she can-t fire him

I dont imagine the parents will escalate to police

So you wouldn't high five a child if they wanted one? Give a hug to a crying child who misses their mum? Gently guide them in the right direction if they are running off?

I feel sorry for any kids you have to interact with. You must be so cold and unwelcoming.

I see teachers touch kids on the school run every day. 'Come on Larry, lets go into class, don't run for the gate [usher child in]'. 'Mary, time for school, lets sit on the carpet [peel child off mother]'.