to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL

[GooseAndSandals]

I’ll start with one of my less dark ones. I didn’t care when my father died.

I grew up so poor we had nothing, life has improved but it's something I'm haunted by. It was tough.

Oh that's a great idea.
I think im going to do that. My DH is driving me nuts

What are you jealous of?

I was groomed as a young teen, just after my beloved dad died. My mum knew and went on to become 'friends' with the man who did it. She then left to live abroad with my little brother, and didn't ask me to go with them. I was just 17.

Those years fucked up so, so much for me. It's taken decades to understand the depth of harm it all did.

No matter what she says now, I will never, ever understand how she could just ditch me like that. I was a nice kid and never any trouble at all. She just didn't want me in her new life.

My friends think my mum is lovely. I'm too ashamed to tell anyone any of this.

I’m female. I’ve had decades of psychiatric help including sectioning but I’ve never told a soul about what my sister did to me.

Oh I’ve had lots of therapy and have been on medication since 1999. I’m not currently depressed but am very very anxious due to my son’s recent diagnosis of epilepsy. But existentially, I just wish I wasn’t me and that someone else had just inhabited my mind instead, it’s hard to describe.. Life has been consistently crap from a young age… and it just continues… and I really wish I’d never entered into the world. Someone else should have come in instead of me. I never asked for any of this..

Are you? X x

Glad it's not just me. My mumis alive but living alone and getting dementia.Part of me would be relieved if she died before she gets to the more undignified stages of it.

I'm lonely.
I would love to have friends similar to me. Who don't mind and understand if communication isn't an every day thing, but know the care and closeness will always be there. I just never seem to come across anyone who genuinely interests me or has a genuine, fun loving, none bitchy vibe. I have 4 sisters but don't feel close to any of them. I wish I had a twin or a friend I could think of as a sister. I crave closeness and I'm hugely envious of people who have genuine, warm, close friends. I love mentally planning a big family Christmas where everyone is happy but my siblings/parents don't have that energy. I suppose it's a feeling that I have so much I want to give, but it's either not worth it or not reciprocated. Even though I have amazing kids and DH, there's always a part of me that feels empty because I don't have 'my tribe' and don't think I'll ever find them. Especially in a small town where everyone is very 'samey.'
Meh, maybe I'll have loads of grandchildren one day and can channel all of my fun side into them now that mine have grown up 😁

I’m so sorry.

Agreed.

@Olive567
I was in the exact same circumstances a few years ago. We went out separate ways, and he died soon afterwards. I miss him every single day.

I never cried when my mum and dad died, i was just glad I didn't have to deal with their crap anymore

I’m pissed off that my eleven-year-old daughter seems to have somehow ended up with my husband’s sister’s skinny, long-legged build. I was a muscular kid and my husband was a chubby kid, and I feel like now my daughter will look more like her aunt and less like me. And I’m her mother. How does my daughter have the body type of her aunt, who is my husband’s half-sister genetically?

Irrational as it is, I grew up thinking of naturally skinny girls as almost a slightly different species, who never had to deal with the problems other girls did and were therefore unrelatable.

I’m so sorry. i cant begin to imagine how terrified you are. I hope you are able to admit your fears to someone and share the burden.
Sending strength and love for the treatment ahead.

Name change...

I have the perfect marriage on paper. Have been celebate for 14+ years since DD was born. Husband's choice. He says he is happy, he knows I am not. I dont have many friends. ND suicidal teenager makes it difficult. dream of a different life.

I am really jealous that my ex's side piece got the house and the money when his mum died. I had put up with that woman for 17 yrs, been criticised about how many children I had, how I brought them up and just generally everything I did was wrong. This new thing has only had to deal with her for 5 years and about 3 of them she was in the hospital or nursing home.

His mum had that much money that when she left her house she forgot to tell anyone there was £10000 in the safe in her cupboard.

I don't want my ex back I just want 17 yrs compensation because of that woman.

What form do they take and are they good or bad ?

You made me laugh g+s. Don't we all.

I've been meaning to look that video up for days, will now finally do so.

I’m so sorry . I have experience of this too @Newoneonceagain and it’s very difficult. Feel for you x

Would you not want to discuss it with a therapist it can help. it won’t resolve anything but might help with your mental health. Does your sister still exist did you go no contact as you grew up?

I hold most of my colleagues in total contempt.

We’re all in senior NHS roles

Several forms, mostly fully formed figures but shadows or energy like figures . Most of what I see are what I call wandering spirits they just pass by and dont acknowledge me , I never seek contact as I’m scared . On occasion I’ve seen “ bad “ spirits , certain places seem to have a high number of them , even when I don’t acknowledge them they sometimes notice me and their presence makes me feel really bad , to the point I fainted or felt so nauseous I vomited . Mostly I “feel “ a place before I even go in to avoid the above .
Hope it makes sense .

I get physically and mentally exhausted by being the bread winner. My DH earns a good wage but it wouldn't come close to covering our outgoings and that's in a 2 bed house in NE Scotland (nursery bill is double our mortgage). We split bills on ratio so it's equal but I always seem to be living off £50 a week after bills in order to go on holidays as I need the break away from home and my work!

This sounds tough. Please try to be happy for your daughter rather than jealous of her as that will be so damaging to your relationship and her self esteem.

I too married the wrong person