to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL

[GooseAndSandals]

I’ll start with one of my less dark ones. I didn’t care when my father died.

Nice. Do you have specific plans for it, or are you just enjoying having security?

I feel similar about an ex, I still miss him and think about him daily. I'm confused whether he is those things or my head has changed the narrative. I also cannot see me wanting anybody or making myself vulnerable to anyone else.
They say time is a great healer and yet we're still here thinking about it..

I wish I had never been born.

A lot of it is about security. My childhood had a lot of uncertainty in it. Its also about self-worth.
You wouldn't guess if you knew me at all. Charity shop wardrobe, yellow stickers in the freezer. Loves a bargain. But im not tight, I pay my way and treat friends. I just dont believe in frittering away money on stuff. I would like to travel a bit more and take the family places we've not yet been.

Me too. Are you getting any support IRL @Dontsayyouloveme

My first thought in response to this is a lot lighter than other answers- I sell things on vinted that people have gifted or passed on to me for free. I'd never tell anyone in real life and have actively judged and shamed others who've told me they do this :(
Anything deeper than that I can't bring myself to share, even anonymously!

It’s highly likely no one comes out of abuse unscathed unfortunately. are you female or male? Have you had therapy I can never understand why people abuse people but your sister is even worse.

I was adopted into a family where I was SA by my adoptive mother and brother. I have Cptsd as a result and have built a little stockpile for when I have enough of struggling in this life and will just be done. The rage I feel towards my adoptive family and birth parents is almost all consuming. I have never had a genuinely loving close relationship or even friendship because of the abuse. I keep trying therapy and after three years of weekly trauma therapy I am still that broken child on the inside. I truly believe I was adopted as the family wanted access to a little girl.

In the same boat with a depressed friend. I feel empathy for her but at the same time she is draining.

I am ashamed of my nationality and lie about where I come from originally. Very few people know what passport I have and I make sure that those people never come in to contact with the ones who think I am from somewhere else.

Sos many people on this thread are suffering so badly. 💔

I don’t love my DH and it was a deliberate choice. Married 25 years with one child. I’d always been in messy relationships before that left me strung out and exhausted and, quite frankly, destroyed so I chose the steady regular guy who adored me. It works. Every now and then I have a crush on someone else and those crazy feelings come up and it reminds me of the terror and pain and I’m glad of the choice I’ve made. But I don’t love him. He’s very happy though.

I'm bored by my best friend's grief over the death of her elderly parents 5 years ago.

My patience is gone for social media posts about being unable to move on, particularly when she judges other people who don't deal with their losses in the same way.

I am your twin on the debt front. Don’t know how to get out of it. I have zero spending restraint as I can service my debt just fine but that’s not going to wash forever.

I envy you your 10-year-ago one that got away. I don’t have any of those, mine are all definitively ones who went away and thank the fuck for that.

Good for you! The best thing money can buy is security and peace of mind imo. Knowing you have options in a tight spot and can depend on yourself is a fine thing.

It was very traumatic and awful at the time, but I'm secretly glad that my exDP and my best mate were having an affair, because otherwise I wouldn't have had the excuse to dump him. And another thing is that I secretly miss ex best friend a lot more than I ever missed my ex boyfriend.

Me too. I once got grilled by a taxi driver and I suddenly realised I was answering all his questions truthfully and getting stressed about it. When he asked what I did for a living I told him I was a cardio-thoracic surgeon and that’s my go-to answer now :)

Sometimes I daydream about my DH dying so I can move from this 'dream' house and be free from this relationship that makes him happy but me miserable.

Goodness this is so so sad @Dontbeme I am so sorry this has happened to you. Please know that you are worth so much and that this is such a fundamental breach of your trust in humanity. I’d like to say to you that there are good people and I hope you find a way to recovery and feel happiness despite what hell you’ve been through. Sending you a hug xxx

I am absolutely bloody exhausted I have had my son's best friend placed with me due to abuse at home ....they have been friends for 10 years and he has had the courage to speak out now and I can't let him down
But I am financially emotionally physically and mentally fucking drained.
The social worker came here for about 30 mins deemed my home safe and he is happy so that's about it ....the police came once to talk about his injuries and that's literally it !
I have had to change my whole upstairs around we've all changed rooms had to buy a new bed and new clothes new TV too ...im so happy to do this and glad I have done it but fuck me I didn't actually realise how much it would drain me.

I have a very jealous streak.
I have a very bad temper.
When I’m home alone I’ll scream as loud as possible to get the anger and jealousy out.

You didn’t allow yourself to be sexually assaulted. You are not disgusting.
none of it was your fault 💐

I am so sorry to see so many having a hard time, sending positive, healing thoughts to you all.💕

I am going to add a light hearted one-

I know all the words to a lot of cheesy 90s pop, including Boyzone, Spice Girls, Steps and the Vengaboys, but if asked IRL I will 100% deny knowledge of all of them and proclaim my love of Oasis and RnB/Hip hop. Which is also true, but not as embarrassing 😂

Omg same… my DP is a talker, so my Brain picks out keywords, but it’s been more as he’s got older that he proper waffles on.

You win!!! 🤣