to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL

[GooseAndSandals]

I’ll start with one of my less dark ones. I didn’t care when my father died.

I keep remembering two women (strangers) I met (separately) years ago. Not in a romantic sense, but their energy/aura was just so amazing that I have never forgotten them and think of them often for some reason. On both occasions, they were fleeting moments but that's almost the beauty of them - that they captured something so lovely, in a short space of time, and I remember that moment so clearly. Always makes me smile.

That I used to have sex in my company car at lunchtime sometimes with someone in my team. There was even a stain on one of the backseats that occurred when “something” got spilt and I forgot to clean it.

Thos isn’t my usual username!

I secretly hope my mother will drop dead. Then I can be free.

I lied to get weight loss injections. Was 9 stone 11 and said I was 11 stone (I’m short so that made me overweight). I did come to my senses and told the truth and cancelled it. Told them how easy it was for me to make myself look bigger and get it and that I am sorry but also they should probably look at their methods for prescribing.x

Mine isn't as painful as some of these - and my heart goes out to so many of you... ❤️

But. A relative of mine writes truly awful self-published books. Her indulgent husband rents her a little cottage by the sea where she goes to play at being a writer, and she churns out six or seven of these 'cosy' genre things a year, without any editing or revision... They are genuinely, unreadably bad - not even 'funny-bad' - just prose so clumsy and unedifying that your brain baulks at taking it in.

She buys loads of copies of her own books to push them up the Amazon list 'because everyone does it'. No, they don't. They cost as much as a professionally published book would; but what really stings is the life-sapping ennui of dutifully forcing these things down when you could be reading any of the glorious works already out there.

I've been a jobbing writer for years. It's tough out there. My bread-and-butter work is reviewing for serious outlets, and it doesn't pay much, but I've built up a reputation that's valuable to me. I know she thinks I'm a jealous, gate-keeping cow because I won't publish the dazzling reviews she 'deserves' in these places and give her a leg up to becoming 'rich and famous'.

For the sake of familial relations I try to give her tactful praise for her efforts without maligning the truth too badly, but I dream of one day giving her a genuine, heartfelt, hold-my-beer review of what I really think...

Me too, other way around would be devastating for him tho.

That's gross 😝.. also I've never been able to have satisfactory sex in a car, it's never quite the right angle or comfortable enough, regular car sex would frustrate the hell out of me.

Have your parents told you that. If so, they should be ashamed to put it mildly.

Sod her, what you achieved was/is fantastic, a size 16 is the average dress size for British women, I am so much bigger than that, I admire your commitment, well done you.

Yes, the second of your sentiments is one I can relate to. Had almost 4 years where I did not contact her and it was a peaceful time in my brain! Now we're back in contact and it's business as usual.
So thank you for sharing that- misery loving a bit of company and all that :)
I'm sorry about your marriage- I hope you have a good friend you can confide in.

@MondeoFan . You are NOT worthless, the men who treat you like shit are.

These types of comments make me really sad.

I don't understand half of what my husband talks to me about (we have completely different jobs and interests!) but I love seeing his eyes light up when he tells me something that he's discovered or talks about something he is passionate about. I always ask questions and have learnt so much about things I never thought I would be interested in.

I hate my mum's boyfriend. He is so miserable. He is a dreadful bus driver. I reported him for driving like a formula 1 driver and for using his phone while driving. I am also tired of my mum's selfish monalogues. Last week i got 3 hours sleep as my neghbour was having a party. My mum gave me a 10 minute monalogue about her b12 deficiency. It is like she is the only person on the planet who is allowed to be tired or poorly.

I kept my security blanket well into adulthood. I gave it up because I felt I should but still miss it every day

I also didn't mourn my mother when she died.
Sometimes I wish my husband would hurry up and die because the stress of the hope of remission and then more bad news is getting too much for both of us.
I am having an affair with a married man and I don't care that it'll hurt his wife.

When I was about 7 years old, a boy of the same age who lived on my street blackmailed and sexually assaulted me.

I'd say hell is very real for some of these OP's. My heart aches for how tortured and sad they are. I don't know how to offer them comfort without sounding trite
IMO that place full of fire, brimstone and pitch forks is the creation of a control freak with a vivid imagination!

Many Christians including me, find forgiveness very hard so you are not alone.I don't know you IRL, but I bet you didn't deserve what he did to you, whatever you think (your kids certainly didn't). Have you talked to your kids about it or had any counselling. DV is so hard to escape from and there are many women out there in your shoes.

I hate my emotionally abusive husband so much I frequently wish he would die so I could be free (I have tried and am trying again to leave but it’s incredibly difficult as he’s also financially abusive).

I only married my husband because I have such low self esteem I thought I’d never find love and someone else that would want to marry me and have children.

I’ve come to realise over the last few years I gain weight to keep men away. Every time I’ve been slim I’ve had issues with men - so I end up gaining weight and suddenly I don’t have to deal with them (I was raped, sexually assaulted, multiple married men hitting on me, etc).

I keep a large stash of pain pills because when it’s time for me to leave this world I’m going on my own terms. I’m not suicidal, although there are times I just wish it were all over - my kids keep me from hurting myself as I couldn’t do it to them.

When the last boyfriend I had before I met DH dumped me for another woman I wrote “Xxxxx is a slag” in felt pen on virtually all the toilet doors in toilets I visited from one end of the country to the other for over 5 years. It made me feel better.

Completely agree that people find their minds in very dark places, and, like you, I wish them well.

Absolutely. I suspect, in their grief, your parents concocted a fantasy of the perfect child... and worse, took their grief out on you...

You are precious, you survived, and they should have been grateful for that. Please love yourself unconditionally, as they should have. 🤗

That would be actual Hell for me....

Wish I'd reported the man who sexually assaulted me and I wish I could tell my family so I don't have to see him every year and watch my family think he's a great person.

I suspect my good friend's new man is going to turn out to be an absolute nightmare. It's all very new and it's all been very fast. She's besotted...but every time I've met him he has unknowingly revealed red flags that are stacking up.
She is on cloud nine and I know if I were to question him or their love, I'd be swiped aside.
Just got to make enthusiastic noises and be there if (when) it all goes tits up.