to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL

[GooseAndSandals]

I’ll start with one of my less dark ones. I didn’t care when my father died.

Love this!

What made you start collecting them in this way? And why marmite, and not, you know mayonnaise jars for example?!

When I was a kid, around 10 or 11 years old, my mum suddenly stopped letting me go to the toilet at night. She would hear me get out of bed in the night and put me back to bed. even if I tried to sneak down the stairs over and over again, she would hear me every time, and I'd cry and beg her to let me use the toilet, and she'd force me back into bed and say that I was faking it or I should've gone before bed- something to that degree. Three times I couldn't hold it and so for two of those times I had to find artwork I'd made at summer camp like painted jars, and pee in that, then set an alarm for 5/6am so I could sneak into the bathroom and empty them. The first time it was a number one and I just had to poop in my pyjamas and empty them into the toilet and rinse them out in the early hours. We were only allowed one bath a week so I spent the whole day at school spraying myself with impulse body spray, trying to cover up my pooey smell.

Years later she ended up being sectioned and is on medication now, so I'm torn between seeing her as an evil heartless cow, or just that she was in some kind of throng of unnoticed psychosis for years.

My friends family recipe potato salad is no good.

Either way, that must have been incredibly difficult for you so it is understandable to feel resentment towards her.

Yeah and it was just one of the things she did, but that's the only thing I've never told anyone about. Except maybe once to a therapist but I can't even remember if I shared it in full. She can still be pretty hateful now, as an older woman on full medication, but i can just ignore it as an adult.

OP I didn’t care when mine died either. I’m curious if there’s a reason as to why you didn’t care?

I’m not jealous of her - I just have this irrational feeling like she’s less “mine” now. Part of it is probably because from her birth to age ten, people frequently told me that she looked “just like you.” And because my sister-in-law, although she’s well-meaning, tries to give me advice all the time when I haven’t asked for advice…and she’s twelve years younger than I am, I’ve known her since she was a small child, and she doesn’t even have kids!

I don’t know. I feel like my sister-in-law has a little bit of a superiority complex, and I’m worried my daughter will somehow end up like her in that respect. Which I realize doesn’t make sense.

As it happens, I have a therapy appointment tomorrow. 🙂

That’s awful, I would convince my that it was because of her MH as the alternative is to bad to dwell on

I sometimes think I chose the wrong brother.

You may well love this, but of course others will hate it.

That has cracked me up 😂

I cheated with a friend while in a long term relationship with my partner. He found out but we stayed together.

Also I still sometimes wonder why my first serious boyfriend broke up with me. I never got an answer, he had one of his friends phone me while we were on holidays from uni and dump me. Despite me trying to stay friends he just vanished out of my life. I still don't know what I did wrong or if it was him. I still think about it and it was over 20 years ago.

Same. And I feel awful about it.

Exactly, how bloody gross and childish IF it's true.

Never?? What about when the kids are grown up?

Wow. What an amazing human you are.
I'm in awe. Well done (don't know how to say this without it sounding patronising, sorry, it really isn't). You have literally turned someone's life around in the most positive way ever. You're allowed to feel exhausted but my goodness you should feel bloody proud too x

@Threelionsandalioness - I would go and see a CAB - I am pretty sure there is a foster allowance you should be getting. Please try and take care of yourself in amongst this great thing you are doing

Sitting for lunch in the work canteen, whenever I spot the wankiest manager in the food queue across the room, I hold up my fork and look at him through it so I can imagine what he'd look like in prison.
Small wins.

You're amazing ❤
@Threelionsandalioness

I often say 'shay!!!' to things/people in my head. It's just so satisfying

😂

😂
Very good.

I'm actually quite partial to a bit of marmite (as one of my other usernames alludes to) but not sure I've got through EIGHTY THREE jars of the stuff!

Does that mean you have a relationship with her? I could not stand to look at her. I’d also feel I had to tell family and friends so they could protect children away from her.

I haven’t seen her for decades. She has children and grandchildren so who knows.

@MrMucker you didn't answer my question!

Why?
And why marmite?!

I'm so sorry so many people have such awful dark secrets and bad memories.

I have just one dirty little secret. Very occasionally when I am very stressed I have a secret cigarette. I've just finished some papers for work and would love one now, but DH would find out. So, I'm having a glass of wine with a cat on each side and in a minute I'll go to bed and not sleep...........