to ask you to tell us something you’d never admit IRL

[GooseAndSandals]

I’ll start with one of my less dark ones. I didn’t care when my father died.

unfortunately this could never happen. I know he thinks of me a lot and hugely regrets ending it (he pesters my friends if he ever sees them out and has openly admitted the above to them) but we could never be together - too much time apart and families don't get on etc.

I wish my friend's wife would die so we could be together.

I think they are the ones either the problem, not you.

My DH failed to do something that I really needed him to do. He said he would do it many times. If I had known he wouldn't do it, I could have done it. Him not doing it had a very bad impact on me from a health standpoint.

I'm so angry and upset, my love for him and our 23 year marriage dissolved in the space of a few days. I feel bitter and numb but am carrying on entirely as I was before in the hope that it will come back because I absolutely adored the man and now it's like a wasteland in my heart.

I have told two of my friends and they are both shocked at what went on. I will never be able to forgive or forget what he did and it's like all the lovely funny little ways we had together, our love and all our memories have just turned to dust.

If he would apologise it would be something but he can't bring himself to, even though he knows he fucked up. If he apologised, I think I could find my way back.

I am 47 years old and still have an imaginary friend. When I'm bored, scared or stressed, out he comes. He's great, the best version of everyone and he thinks I'm great too. I'm aware it's avoidance and escapism, or my way of working out problems. I'm aware he's not real, but he's grown up with me. His name is James.

There's something quite 'Fleabag' about this 😄🚕

Thank you so much for your kindness. I'm 49 now. I've spent years feeling guilty for not being emotionally close to her - it's only in the last two years that I'm starting to see that it's not my fault. I think therapy could help. Thank you again for taking the time to reply.

I was really drunk after a massive row with BF and went on to a party where I BFs best pal was coincidentally. I was close to him, we had some very similar upbringings and often had heart to hearts about stuff BF didn't understand. He has nice to me and i was excessively flirty, didn't try to kiss him but I was hugging him and saying I thought he was cute etc, I was a disgrace that night. He literally put me into a taxi and sent me home. That was over 20 yrs ago. I married BF and this man is now my DSs godfather, his wife is a v close friend. I am so embarrassed every time I think of it. I pray he doesn't remember but of course he does. Its never been acknowledged between us.

I felt nothing when my father died. I wish I had not helped to organise his funeral. Younger me felt a sense of obligation. I wish I had been stronger because the bastard treated my mum appallingly.

I feel deep shame about my appearance. I do not have the willpower to lose weight and keep it off. I feel like a disgusting failure. It consumes my thoughts every minute of every day. I go through periods where I make myself sick but I even can’t do that right as I don’t lose weight.

What made you suspect this? I'm intrigued.

I do something similar to this. I assume it's a coping mechanism.
I my scenario I'm living in a lovely cottage with a walled garden and my cat. It's so peaceful and beautiful and I'm happy and calm.
I plan this out in my head usually as I'm dropping off to sleep.

Our youngest daughter has serious mental health problems and life is miserable because of it. Everyday feels like carrying a huge, heavy load on my back.

😥 poor dog

I spent 30 years of my life with PMDD. I could have had a very different life if I’d have the medication I’m on now.

😂🤣😂

My dad isn't my real dad. My DH knows this (my parents dont know I know) but what I haven't told anyone IRL is that my whole very successful, professional career is consciously founded on my desire to catch people out in lying, as my mother did (and still does) to me.

I would love to beat up or run over my daughter's school bully.

i think I would if I thought I would get away with it.

it was over 15 years ago and the school was useless.

i hate that piece of shit bitch and hope she suffers a terrible life and death.

She made my daughter's life an absolute misery.

I was bought up in a household with domestic violence. My first memory is my father upending the kitchen table in a rage and all the cooking ingredients falling on the floor but I’ve also seen my father being physically violent to my mother. I’ve spent most of my life underestimating the impact. I haven’t told anyone and no-one mentions it in the family.

This really warmed my heart

Lots of stories on here are heartbreaking, and I have my own stories of awfulness where those closest should've looked after me but did the opposite.

But your comme t has floored me- I'm so very sorry for what happened to you, a f you did not deserve it in any way.

I hope you have love in your life now, and I'm sorry words are not enough and cannot make up for what you've been through.

So am I. Both with kids. Rationally awful. Emotionally / instinctually, it didn't and still doesn't feel wrong, despite my enduring and deep love for my husband of 28 years. But we aren't allowed to have these thoughts and desires. Maybe society society has it all wrong.

You should get a proper allowance from Social Services.

As ever they have forgotten about it

But well done for what you are doing

I have suffered since mid twenties with this awful affliction.

What meds are you on?

I have one secret I will carry to my grave, and two that will emerge after I die. I cannot admit to their existence IRL.

This is so sad. I'm very sorry for your loss.

How will they emerge once you are dead? Have you written letters?