Comments because I don’t drive

[Waolom]

I’m 28. I don’t drive. I have no children. I do not mind the fact that I can’t drive one single bit. I enjoy sitting on public transport and switching off, listening to my music, I never ask anyone for a lift or to take me xyz place. In short, my inability to drive affects absolutely nobody but myself and I’m happy.

So why on earth do (some) drivers make it such a big deal and make comments when people can’t drive? I don’t ever ask for lifts so it just frustrates me when people comment on it as if I’m putting them out. I’m not.
AIBU to be fed up of these comments?

Taxi to A&E if late at night!

Good luck getting one in South Somerset or north Dorset. They all closed during Covid and no, we don’t have uber. So many people call 999 expecting an ambulance because they can’t drive.

Not driving is really NOT "hugely limiting" - unless you have chosen to live somewhere with limited public transport which would be a really stupid thing to do!

What do drivers do when they can no longer drive? Die? Never leave their home again?

But as I don't want to drive I have chosen to live where there is plenty of options and lots of taxis!

It's simple.

I'm so sick of people making remarks when they find out someone doesn't drive. The amount of people who find out I don't drive and say "oh you should learn! You'll be glad you did! I can't imagine not driving!". Fuck. Off.

I think this thread just proves your point really doesn't it? I don't drive. I also don't accept lifts from people, you're not doing me a favour, I have feet, i make my own way around just fine. It annoys me when I politely decline the offer of a lift and people try and press it on me.

But it is though isn't it? Unless you live in a big town or city. Even mundane things are much more limited. If you don't drive how are you popping to that quiet cute beach? Or heading off for a hike in the hills? Or going to your friends country wedding? Come to think of it how are you going to the garden centre/homebase/even clothes shopping without spending a fortune on taxis (which don't exist in lots of places). What about going to the tip? Or picking something up from someone on Marketplace who lives off a bus route? It must be hugely limiting for jobs too. Neither of us could get to our jobs on public transport (despite living in a town) and both jobs are big techy companies.

My husband can’t drive and an odd number of people are intrigued by it, its as though some drivers lose the ability to think when they pass their test.

Yeah, this.
You could get your license but don’t have to drive or get a car yet.
Imagine you meet someone, have kids, need to do a big weekly shop, do school run, take kids to after school activities or doctor. What if you like the idea of moving somewhere more rural with poor transport links ? Are you going to rely on public transport ? If yes, no issues !

I was like you OP, but I had to move away from the commuter belt and public transport in my new area is rubbish, so I passed my test earlier this year at 36. Looking back at my life through a driver's eyes I was putting up with so much inconvenience and faff. Driving is bloody amazing, I feel so free knowing that I can go wherever I want! Within the first week of passing my test I had to take my DS to an emergency doctors appointment and my cat to the vet, no calling around trying to get a lift, just bundled them into the car and went!

People are making comments because they know what you are missing out on. I wish I had listened sooner.

I don't think it's uncommon not to drive. I know several people, all women, who don't and have no intention.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to! It is a massive responsibility and even a chore sometimes.

I’m glad you responded to this assumption you were going to have kids and therefore needed to drive lol. Good on you.
what I will say though, is that I was like you. Never drove because I lived in cities both in the UK and overseas where driving wasn’t necessary. It was only when I left my partner in my late 40’s and took the dog I realised to be able to take him with me on holidays or the beach etc, I needed a car. So I bought one and had refresher driving lessons. It’s terrifying driving at my age (52), particularly in the city I live in. But it’s great to have the dog in the back while we have an adventure together. It’s a very expensive addition to my life but worth it. So if you like dogs, this might be the thing to consider.
but if not, carry on and do what works for you.

@176509user

Big weekly shop - get a taxi it delivery
School run - we walked, at secondary he got the bus/cycled with his mates
Ditto after school activities
Doctor - walk/taxi
No intention of ever living in rurally

So you can drive, but you choose not too? Or you can’t drive?

Get a taxi

Very much so! Someone mentioned about lifts to get shopping. I have legs to walk to the shops and arms to carry the bags home

With complete respect, not a chance will I be getting a dog. Cats only in my house 😁

I do live in a city and my parents were too busy working while I was growing up to ever be driving me around so I learned to get myself where I wanted to go on public transport and still do.

I understand a lot of you are factoring in that you have children so have less time for the faff but taking some extra time to get me from point a to b is not an issue for me at all.

someone made the point of saying ‘don’t say it’s more eco friendly’ but IT IS. It’s also cheaper than driving and there’s not anywhere I’ve wanted to go that I haven’t been able to get to. Plus, there’s no traffic on train lines to the Lake District for a hike while you’re all still stuck in bank holiday traffic on the motorway! 😁

Why are you listening to them if you don’t like what they are saying.

The assumption some people seem to have that everyone is capable of driving is astonishing to me. Have they really never encountered anyone who is neurodiverse, or disabled, or, hell, just poor? Or is it just that those people are invisible to them?

Or she could just learn if and when the need comes along?

Don't beat yourself up about that at all.

Every one asks for a lift after having surgery occasionally. You are just like every one else who drives and rarely asks assistance with transport.

Commend yourself for not polluting the environment.

Turns out this is me. I always expected to drive but my nervous system can’t handle it and I think if I could get past that, I zone out all the time and forget what I’m doing so I would be a huge risk to everyone. My family agrees 😬

I know two others that learned to drive but were too anxious driving day to day so decided they didn’t want to do it anymore.

I’m 44. Never learned to drive and never plan to. Never needed it. I grew up in a city, I’m now in a smallish town but with pretty decent public transport. Even with that I’m happy to walk. DH can drive, he’s actually a bus driver, but he works nightshift so our shopping is done by me, walking, and either carrying bags or with a wheely trolley because he’s usually asleep when I need to shop. Sometimes a bus home depending on where I shop and what I’ve bought. Taxis are easy here too if necessary.

DH also had a serious medical issue last year and he was immediately told he couldn’t drive during it. We would never live somewhere where public transport or taxis weren’t an option as we’ve learned that you can lose your ability to drive overnight and he had multiple hospital trips which would have been impossible without public transport. I had my own health issues shortly after that too, and before DH could drive again, so even if we had been a household of two drivers, we could have still found ourselves with no way to drive anywhere because of that.

I’m also one that doesn’t ask or beg for lifts and it does get annoying when some people don’t believe I want to walk somewhere and push for me to accept a lift from them just because they can’t believe I’m happy to walk for 10 minutes.

I understand being fed up. Personably I can’t imagine myself not having a car outside the house for taking me where I want/need to be. But to each their own.