Comments because I don’t drive

[Waolom]

I’m 28. I don’t drive. I have no children. I do not mind the fact that I can’t drive one single bit. I enjoy sitting on public transport and switching off, listening to my music, I never ask anyone for a lift or to take me xyz place. In short, my inability to drive affects absolutely nobody but myself and I’m happy.

So why on earth do (some) drivers make it such a big deal and make comments when people can’t drive? I don’t ever ask for lifts so it just frustrates me when people comment on it as if I’m putting them out. I’m not.
AIBU to be fed up of these comments?

Which I’ve said multiple times wouldn’t work here - most closed during Covid and only do pre booked pick ups. On a Friday/saturday out we have to plan in advance and often can’t get any. Weekdays you have no hope after 11pm.

People who don't drive don't tend to live in places without regular public transport, though there are exceptions of course.

I'm sorry to hear that your husband is in hospital, I hope he gets better soon. If you didn't have a car, you'd find a way. My son was in hospital for 10 months until the start of this year and not our local hospital because he needed specialist care and the person who visited most was my mum and she doesn't drive.

It would work where plenty of people do live though and are more likely going to choose to live if they don't drive.

When my son needed A&E in the middle of the night, I got a taxi that arrived within 5 minutes.

I dont drive so I live somewhere close to everything. When we were looking to buy that obviously factored in majorly. So I would assume, it would also apply to others that dont drive.

Id never live somewhere too far away from anything

I live in a fairly decent size town. 3-4pm you can’t get them either as they’re booked for schools. 2019 would have been fine.

As long as you're happy not driving, why worry. If you have good, reliable public transport available, that's not a problem. People living living in areas not so well-served have to drive. I do think it may be a useful skill for the future. I would learn, if only for that reason - and it's easier when you are young.

I live in a good sized town too. buses, trains, taxis are all good in my town.

I would move house if I had to stop driving. Living where we do is tricky without a car.

I passed my test when I was 19 and have had my own car ever since (im mid 40s) and find it useful. However i walk to the station, 5 days a week, and commute by train, it would make no sense in terms of time or cost to drive to London.
The local council has changed/restricted the parking in our local town - about a mile away - so I only drive there to pick up DS from sports (he could and does walk if im not available) mainly because we want to eat before 9pm, or if im buying something heavy or bulky. Otherwise i walk.

The next town to us is bigger with more places to eat out so I often travel there by train (effectively its free because my season ticket to London covers it) However if I want to go to a sports club ,or a race or visit relatives, or go to the out of town supermarket, or collect daughter from uni, from a station 7 miles away, I use the car, because its more convenient.

My husband can’t drive today he has dropped our daughter off at nursery, taken our son to a hospital appointment, taken him to school after his appointment, been to the gym, picked up some shoes we’d ordered for the kids, collected a prescription, picked our daughter up from nursery and bought what we needed to cook tea.

I can drive, we own a car, I tried to use it on thursday and the battery was dead, so I tried to push start it but the brakes have seized, so I’ve finally admitted keeping the car really isn’t at all cost effective.

Oh most definitely my ex was a prat!And yes, sorry I was lazily posting then-I do agree that some people just don't have the composure or the quick enough reactions to be operating a tonne of metal-their strengths will lie elsewhere.
Non-drivers can be the most critical! It isn't the only time that has happened to me-and I have had lifts from people before for various reasons and wouldn't ever dream of offering petrol money (and parking fees etc) but perhaps for some they just don't comprehend that cars aren't a case of you just buy one and then that's it, it runs for free forever!

A lot of my reasons for driving places I could walk to are safety ones (unfortunately). Say I wanted something from the shop now, It's dark. It's around a ten minute walk but I will drive to it. I drive to the pub-6 minutes up a dark lane, I just won't walk it (if I drink alcohol I leave the car and my friend drops me off in his taxi).

Different during the day of course-but I will sometimes drive to my parent's house which is 10 minutes away even then-mainly because it might be dark by the time I walk home, especially in the winter months.

I am a spinster though. Had I a partner to walk with it would be different.

2 points to address.

Firstly I’m not limiting myself on where I can live because I have absolutely no intention of living somewhere with a 20 minute drive to Tesco. I live in a city with 90 bus routes

Secondly, if anyone genuinely NEEDED to go to A&E, they shouldn’t be operating a vehicle.

I agree but not everyone has such a brilliant bus service but I still agree with you about not having a car.

I have both, do you?

To me it's a bit like swimming or cycling... a useful skill to have even if its not something I choose to use every day. I always find it a bit strange when people tell me they can't drive, and although I live in a town, it'd be very very very unusual for people here to not know how to drive so I guess that's why I find it strange.

@floraldreamer where do you live that is that dangerous you can't walk 10 mins in the dark? I genuinely find that baffling.

I don't drive either and the only person who used to peck my head over it was my old boss. All the time, "aren't you having lessons", "why don't you try an automatic" etc on and on and on. I did have lessons, I failed my test twice, I never ever felt comfortable or confident behind the wheel and it built up until the thought of more lessons made me feel sick. I used to try and avoid them like a kid avoiding school. I don't want to drive. I know I'm inherently not good at it and I'm likely to cause an accident etc so better off not to do it. There are certainly times when it irritates me and I wish that I could drive but not to the extent that I'm willing to go back to lessons.

70% of Mumsnet issues would be solved if the people concerned DIDN'T drive. There would be no need for parking threads.

on a road with no pavement or poorly lit perhaps?

Indeed. Drivers think non-drivers must be severely restricted to the city they live in but that’s because they can’t imagine getting anywhere except by car - it’s their default setting. I love researching how to get to places via public transport with just little bits by taxi ( pre-booked if need be). I find it a challenge. One friend was so inspired by my travels in Scotland a couple of years ago, she did the same. Travels included small group buses which was a very effective and informative way of going to places, carefully-chosen so we’d have as much time at sites as if we’d driven ourselves. And ferries, taxis, buses and trains… Loved the challenge as did my friend

A young couple at church go all over the UK and Europe, they’re keen travellers and all via public transport or taxis / Ubers. He had had a bad accident as a teenage driver and swore he’d never drive again and she is a non- driver but they’re never at home! Rome2rio is a great app. Europe often has excellent public transport links and cycle lanes. It’s us ( the UK) who are tied to our cars.

I adore train travel and find car travel tedious too, as another pp said

Same.

When DH and I met, we both didn’t drive because we lived in a major city. When he moved back to the UK, he moved to a town where he could either take the train or drive to work because he would have to meet clients in London and there would be drinks after so he wouldn’t be able to take the car anyway and often easier getting into Central London by train than trying to drive there.

He also agreed that if anything were to happen to one of us or both or something happened with the car, it would be better to be somewhere that didn’t need a car than not. We also wanted our kids to have the upbringing that we had where we didn’t have to rely on our parents or someone else’s parents to take us somewhere.

My DSis doesn’t drive due to sight issues, her life is not limited in any way. She’s visited 80 countries, lived in three countries, and works all over the world.
Imagine if the arguments in this thread were applied to any other “basic life skill”. How about growing your own food? Everyone eats, and growing food is easy for those who have the time, skills and resources. The non-growers though, they think they can get by on shop food and takeaway, but when growers have a good harvest they’re happy to take bags of apples or courgettes without any offer of compost money…

I love researching how to get to places via public transport with just little bits by taxi ( pre-booked if need be)

Same. I got around Scotland using the train and ferry, leaving from Oxfordshire. Went to Edinburgh, Tarbet to see Loch Lomond, Fort William, Glasgow, Dunoon on my own for four days with a backpack. I planned out my journey in advanced and it was amazing. Scotland is a beautiful country by train. Loved going through the Highlands.

My colleague who didnt drive moved to a village with no public transport. She was reliant on a lift from a relative or a 50 minute bus ride to the nearest station. She was late every day for about 6 months, it was pretty annoying for everyone else who had to cover her work and who arrived on time.