To ask opinions on IVF at 53

[DrenchSal]

I’ve been considering it

i won’t be offended with anything negative - I just want honesty

It’s selfish, you’re doing it for you not your child who will almost certainly lose a parent in early adulthood.

Very unlikely to be successful and even if it was you’ll be past retirement age by the time the child would be 18. IMO 10 years ago should have been the cut off point of considering this path. I’d look into fostering or adopting an older child if I was you.

One of the biggest fears of mums (maybe some dads but it's always mostly mums) is that they will die and leave their children alone. You perhaps can't fully grasp this fear until you've actually given birth.

It's also impossible to understand the pain of labour (and the aftermath) ...at 52 I know it would kill me, and you're not appreciating just how difficult and exhausting it is when they're young. For a few days after I had my first, I was like a zombie....my exH would hand over DS for feeding and I was incapable of doing anything else. I couldn't have been alone.

It’s very unfair to the child. 53 year old mother and no father / or same sex partner. No, it’s ridiculous.

If you're not in the mindset to Foster then you're not in the mindset to have a baby of your own
Absolute madness to be honest
Buy a dog/cat/horse

The hardest part of parenting for us has been the teenage years and we are just 50. I cannot even imagine doing this and being over 70. Sorry OP, but with nobody as back up if you get incapacitated or die, this is a silly and quite selfish idea. You risk this child becoming your carer or going through young adulthood with no parents.

Far too old to start raising a child.

Adopting and fostering are brilliant but you absolutely have to be in the right headspace and KNOW you 100% WANT to do it and can apply yourself

Not in this headspace atm but never say never

Incredibly selfish on any child to have such old mother !

Imo op, im saying this kindly, 53/54 is far too old. You would be 70 when they are 16. The trauma of losing you at that age would be so difficult for the child. Equally the trauma of trying to parent a teen at 70 would be horrific especially if they are a difficult teenager 😞

Why not help children who already exist, instead of going to huge expense, stress and trouble in an attempt to create a child who currently does not exist and probably never will?

I wonder how your BIL’s little one will feel when they’re a teenager with a father in his 70s!

What does this even mean.

is it that you crave being pregnant? And what headspace is ok for ivf but not fostering/adopting. If you have love to give to a child that isn’t biologically yours.

ivf Is physically and mentally draining at 53 it will be insanely hard as well as likely unsuccessful. I’d not waste the years

I think this is something only you can decide. Think about all situations you may come across in the future and what plans you have in place to counter it. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Sorry to be harsh but no you cant.
If you were able to get pregnant through ivf (with doner eggs i assume) you'd be atleast 54 assuming your 1st round works if not older. That means you'd be an OAP before the child hits high school, and 72 by the time they left school and want to go to college or uni if you live that long. What your talking about doing is the most incredibly selfish thing I've heard in a long time, the risks of a doner egg pregnancy are 3 times greater than a normal pregnancy with the added risk due to your age, and doing so both as a single parent (so no fall back parent if you die) smacks of both narcism and the desire for free old age care.
Don't saddle a child with the responsibility to either put you in a care home or give up on their education if they aren't orphaned before they finish school

A child will need you till they are 25 minimum. So you'll be 78. If you live that long? How about fostering a teen or a child and giving something of yourself that way?

My mum died from cancer at 54.

Thankfully, I was already a fully grown adult of 28 but I am sad that my children never knew her and that I could never ask her advice in parenting.

Having a baby as a lone parent in your 50s guarantees your child will be prematurely parentless compared to average.

Totally selfish and cruel. What child wants to be saddled with an elderly doddering parent who’ll inevitably have health problems and likely won’t be around to see the significant events in their life?

Not her first child but her second, I believe.

You’re not in the headspace to look after a child in need but you’re perfectly ok with creating a child who will have no support network except for one woman in her 50s? You are planning to create a child who will (if anything happens to you) need fostered or adopted themselves? Please don’t do this.

It’s too late, poor kid would have no siblings and no other parent and you would be in your 70s by the time they leave home (if you are still alive). I can’t imagine doing the teenage years in my 60s and 70s, and as a teenager I would have hated to have a parent that old.

Poor child.

I'm sorry but I think it's a really bad idea. I was only a few years older than you when I became a grandmother and already feel sad that I probably won't see my grandchildren marry, might see graduation if I'm lucky. Will I still be healthy enough to help with after-school care until they finish primary?

Your eggs will not be in the best condition. Unless you use someone else’s eggs then conceiving will be hard even with I F. Rat said, I think you are sadly too old. You would be 74/5 before that child would graduate university.

No living family