How old is too old to have a child?

[Spookygoose]

I keep hearing about women freezing their eggs in their early/mid-30s to delay having children. It makes me wonder what age they actually plan on having these kids if they are only freezing their eggs when they’re already in their 30s. When they’re in their mid-40s?? It seems that freezing eggs is seen as some sort of magical solution to your biological clock, as if not being able to conceive is the only issue with having kids in your 40s or beyond. What about having less energy as you get older, the toll pregnancy takes on your body, being significantly older than all the other mums, potentially dying when your child is barely an adult etc? It’s got me thinking, how old do you think is too old to have a child? I did IVF and had my son in my mid-30s. I’m now 40 and have some embryos still frozen that I could potentially use to have another child. I would love to give DS a sibling but am not currently in a place in my life where it would be practical. I’m starting to let go of the idea of having another one, however I’m not 100%. If my situation changed by the time I was 43 or 44, I’m really unsure if I would want to have a baby at that age. Mainly because I just feel I’d be “an old mum” and I don’t want to feel like that. But AIBU? I really don’t know 🤷‍♀️

Too old would be when a woman has stopped ovulating. But if she still is, conceives and carries a pregnancy to term, that's of course no one's business but her's.

Disagree. How about those of us with PCOS and endometriosis etc? We are young but have difficulties ovulating.

I think PP meant stopped ovulating due to age, not prematurely.

I'm obviously talking typically.

I had my first at 23 and my last at 32. The difference in tiredness was crazy.

Of course you're more tired when you already have kid/s, it's incomparable to going from 0-1 at any age.

How would you know as you weren’t a young mum so you really can’t compare, most people do have more energy when they are younger, I certainly did

36/37 considering you have to raise them and support them emotionally and financially for approximately 23 years, although I think your never too old for a good mothers support, 21/23 Years is the minimum.

My cut off was 40. Arbitarily decided by me, so that my last baby would be out of education by the time I retired. She was born 3 weeks before I was 41.

14 years later… a lot of my peer-colleagues are reducing their hours, looking at early retirement… and that is impossible for me! If you have any notion of early retirement, then don’t have a baby when you are 41.

I completely agree. I had my 3 between the ages 21 and 26. I'm 33 now and can't think of anything worse then having a baby again but that's because the age u had mine rather then my age now

40

From observing other mums in my circle.

I don'/ know anyone except people who were young mums who think they are 'slowing down' in their early 40s. I went back to work FT at 50 and am nowhere near wanting to retire. If you feel like you are 'too old' to have kids in your 30s or early 40s (as opposed to being happy with the size of your family) maybe you should look at your diet and exercise regime and do something radical to stop yourself prematurely aging.

I had my one (and only) at 31 and felt it was an optimum age - good career, stable finances, own home etc. I’m no longer with his father, and therefore when I met my partner aged 37 I felt, after we’d been together a while, that I would like to have another. We tried for a bit, but nothing stuck and we considered IVF privately.

By the time I’d done the requisite research and forward financial planning, I turned 40, and now know I’m in perimenopause. I’ve decided that it’s just not for us - I’m exhausted, mentally finding things difficult as it is (and I struggled mentally after the birth of my DS) and I don’t think I could do babyhood again. DS is 9, a joy to be around, and when he’s a teenager I’ll still be relatively young.

I have several friends who have had kids well into their 40s.

My mum was 44 when she had me (naturally, no IVF back then). She was always fit and active and well-groomed, I was never aware of her being an older mum. I think it really depends on the individual. I had my first child at 21, my last at 37, and I was just as tired etc at 21 as I was at 37, didn't really find it any harder work. My grandmother had her last (9th) child at 52......😳

Due to fertility issues, I had my first at 33 and second at 37. I had decided before then that 40 was my cut off point for children. I have friends in their early 40s who are trying to conceive via IVF so nowadays for me 45 would be the cut off.