DD cruelly dumped by BF

[OutbackQueen]

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

Butt out, will you. Nothing will change and your make yourself look a fool.

NO NO NO!!!!!

All you'd be doing is saying 'you have power over us' and he'd get off on it, possibly sexually

thwts a bit of a leap isn’t it. I mean he ended the relationship, the op says cruelly but doesn’t explain why she feels it was done cruelly, for all we know the simple act of ending it was cruel for her. To then run away with that and jump to he’s a pervert who gets off on having power over women is a step too far.

Quite. The odds are he'd probably be really embarrassed instead of being turned on.

He's a young man who ended a relationship. His gfs mum was going to write him poetry and now you're all painting him as some kind of abuser.

Im feeling sorry for him now.

Yeah I don't think theres any need to be nasty - we've all had our cringe moments where emotions have over taken common sense for a bit, anyone who hasn't is a flat out liar!

I am sure your DD has had a lucky escape, try to think of it in those terms!

OP says he ‘reeled her back in’, which I take to mean that he chased after her and then dumped her a second time.

No, you don’t have to stay with someone- but if you chase after someone after having dumped them once and then change your mind again you should acknowledge that that is not a great way to treat someone.

I am so sorry to the people newly exposed to the 'work' of Keith J Furnival... I had no idea he had an instagram, I thought you might all just get some APILN fb posts, not direct exposure!!

She could only be reeled back in if she wanted to be. Let's not say she had no choice in this either. She didnt have to agree to date him again.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me kind of thing.

Again another leap. She may have been more than happy to get back with him. I don’t really get all these assumptions people are making. And I’m fairly sure they got back together as they both wished to, and you don’t even know how long the second time lasted, seems the incompatibility didn’t resolve so it couldn’t go on. He doesn’t need to stay with her forever as they had a second go of it, and she does have a say, women are not brainless creatures who do men’s bidding;

Op is hardly an unbiased observer here is she?

It's completely human to wobble backwards and forwards in your feelings about someone at the break up stage.

Theres noting to indicate this man has done anything wrong at all.

It's kind of abhorrent to suggest people are awful just because they end a relationship. He wasn't going to be doing ops daughter a favour if he stayed with her when he wasn't happy.

Certainly not evil - but not good. I’d have had words with my DS25 if he did that.

But he hardly deserves the demonising he is getting on this thread. It's common to wobble about your feelings for someone. It's common to miss someone after a break up. He made a mistake.

The daughter had a choice. She could have said no to getting back together. But she didn't.

I’m pleased you’ve seen sense OP.
its SO personal when people mistreat your kids isn’t it!

But let’s face it, he’d pass his round his mates as they pissed themselves laughing.

I agree, people have the right to split up with someone. I’d never bollock my children for ending a relationship, such a weird thing to do, unless they really want their kids to go NC!

Is this the same DD who is having a boob job done? has it boosted her confidence?

I think at the age of 68, it's probably best for you to step away from the drama and let her get on with it. She doesn't need her mum ramping up the drama.

Wait until your DD has recovered, then show it to her. The ex bf is a twat and wouldn't even understand it. Waster.

No OP - like you, my mum has been quite affected by my past relationships, and WANTED to send things but never has. She blocks them to prevent herself!

Don’t show it to her, honestly, just don’t. She will have to say nice things but be horrified. Most folks would.

I broke up with my first boyfriend when I was 19 and so was he. It was the second time I’d split up with him and he was utterly devastated

The fact he actually stalked me afterwards to the point the police got involved was probably not helped by his family being dramatic rather than a calming force.

His mum told me he’d “never love again!” (Please, he’s 19) and then one day she rang me to say she was in A&E as he’d taken an overdose of paracetamol. I felt really faint and guilty until I asked how many he’d taken. Eight. Eight paracetamol. I had enough at that point and said “Oh come on, I take 8 when I have a headache, that's not a suicide attempt it’s called attention seeking, never call me again”. She spent MONTHS telling people we both knew that I “Laughed when I found out he’d tried to commit suicide” 🙄

Whenever I think of him I pity the poor soul who went out with him after that and having to put up with this kind of nonsense.

Not saying your DD will be a stalker BTW OP just sharing the perils and unhelpfulness of parents who join in the chaos rather than bring the calm. Don’t get involved. You’ll end up being a story shared on Mumsnet in a few years time.

Please don't write any more poems, about anything.

No absolutely not.
How would you feel if he used it ridicule your daughter and her mother on social media and it became viral joke.

😂 This reminds me... My late mother confessed that she'd taken to scrawling horrible messages on the envelopes of post that needed forwarded to an ex of mine. Luckily she didn't tell me until I could barely remember him.

Save your breath everyone. The poor op left this thread 5 pages ago after the first 5 pages of some really quite cruel replies. And a few sensible ones. But does no one read the OP’s posts before jumping in to comment?

Or just chewing the fat about a very unusual suggestion by an OP!