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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Turn your son in knowing it’s the death penalty?

1000 replies

TaupeLemur · 12/09/2025 15:28

Kirk’s killer has apparently been turned in by his family - or persuaded to hand himself in.
Trump &’his supporters have been very vocal about getting the death penalty for the shooter.

would YOU hand your child over, knowing that the electric chair would be the likely outcome?

YANBU - I wouldn’t turn him in to die.

YABU - I would he’s a killer and deserves all he gets

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Mumofmarauders · 12/09/2025 17:04

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 15:33

I wouldn't turn anyone in if the death penalty was likely. Neither would I find them guilty as a juror. It's barbaric and has no place in a civilised society.

I think I would if I thought it was inevitable or highly likely that that otherwise they would continue to kill others. That’s one of the reasons I’m against it, it creates an impossible choice for jurors unless they want to be complicit in a killing 😭

XWKD · 12/09/2025 17:04

DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat · 12/09/2025 15:32

If all evidence is a definite that's him and he admits it, why shouldn't it be a death penalty?

Kirk's 2 children are now growing up without a Daddy.

That state has no more of a moral right to murder people than he had.

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 12/09/2025 17:05

DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat · 12/09/2025 15:32

If all evidence is a definite that's him and he admits it, why shouldn't it be a death penalty?

Kirk's 2 children are now growing up without a Daddy.

I mean I think this growing up without their daddy statement is ridiculous.

Like you can say that about anyone really, oh poor Osama bin ladens kids growing up without their daddy.

Its a ridiculous argument.

Wildgoat · 12/09/2025 17:06

TaupeLemur · 12/09/2025 15:32

I believe the dealt penalty is about revenge not justice, and often used against the poorest in societies, so oppose it. Can’t imagine handing my child in to be killed by the state, regardless of their crime.

Isn’t revenge part of justice, paying for your crime? And if you had a dangerous murderinf child who was gloating and you knew was going to kill more, maybe you also were at risk, you sure you’d do nothing? As said, I don’t think judging is appropriate.

Trej85 · 12/09/2025 17:06

CalmCyanBeaker · 12/09/2025 15:45

I am a bit surprised he did not kill himself. With the recent catholic school shooting the killer turned his gun on himself. Suicide bombers know they are not going to leave the scene alive to face trial. I think this young man was stupid to think he could get away with it ,and to me that makes him more dangerous.

I wondered if he thought he was going to stay low just for a very short amount of time before doing it again. I can’t think why else he didn’t shoot himself. Surely he knew he was going to die one way or another when they soon caught him?

Mackerelfillets · 12/09/2025 17:06

I wonder if they did it for the reward? Who knows what the back history is of their relationship. I couldn't do it but its got to be a lose/lose situation all round.

Anonymouseposter · 12/09/2025 17:07

noidea69 · 12/09/2025 16:49

I'd have probably raised him better not to kill people.

If only life were so simple. Our children are not robots who we programme. We don’t know the family and they may have raised him badly but people come under all sorts of influences outside the family as they grow up.

MyLimeGuide · 12/09/2025 17:07

Probably not but im sure i would pretty much disown him.

Wildgoat · 12/09/2025 17:08

Mackerelfillets · 12/09/2025 17:06

I wonder if they did it for the reward? Who knows what the back history is of their relationship. I couldn't do it but its got to be a lose/lose situation all round.

Money didn’t come to my mind, his father is a minister. I thought he’d decided his son was a further risk, as him and a martial secured him to stop him escaping, so my thought is his father did this as his son was intent on further killing.

Berlinlover · 12/09/2025 17:08

I strongly believe in the death penalty.

KitWyn · 12/09/2025 17:08

NamelessNancy · 12/09/2025 15:33

I wouldn't turn anyone in if the death penalty was likely. Neither would I find them guilty as a juror. It's barbaric and has no place in a civilised society.

Our job as a juror is to assess the evidence and determine if the prosecution has proved their case beyond reasonable doubt. What may happen next should not be a factor.

Would you really release someone you robustly believe is a serial killer back into the community rather than risk him being sentenced to death?

I'm wholly opposed to the death penalty, but on balance, releasing him is the worst of two terrible options? Would I be partly responsible if he were to kill again after release?

WalkDontWalk · 12/09/2025 17:08

DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat · 12/09/2025 15:32

If all evidence is a definite that's him and he admits it, why shouldn't it be a death penalty?

Kirk's 2 children are now growing up without a Daddy.

The question is not whether or not you agree with the death penalty.

InMyShowgirlEra · 12/09/2025 17:09

Thisistyresome · 12/09/2025 15:46

Weren't his family in the audience so his 3 year old daughter may well remember watching her dad die in front of her.

That said, people tend to avoid the death penalty when they turn themselves in and cooperate.

Well, he said that if she got pregnant at 10 by rape he would force her to carry to pregnancy to term, so he's not a great loss as a father. I don't agree with the death penalty so that applies to him to, but I also think it's good he's dead. Horrible excuse for a human.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/09/2025 17:10

I'm wondering how the replies would change if the case in question was different.

Turn your child in knowing that there is cast iron evidence that they have killed a child?
Turn your child in knowing that they have been indisputably been involved in horrific sexual violence?
Turn your child in knowing that they have made their partner's and children's lives an absolute misery over many years through coercive control and sexual/emotional/financial/physical abuse?

This thread is a bit of a mess because (a) the possibility of the death penalty issue appears to be affecting a lot of people's decisions here and (b) unfortunately some people don't seem to care all that much about this cold-blooded murder because the victim had expressed many controversial views. I think we'd be seeing a very different response if we were looking at a question 'Would you turn your child in if they'd murdered a decent, well-liked person who was doing good in the community and leaves a partner and young family and your child would face life imprisonment in a UK prison?'

Devilsmommy · 12/09/2025 17:10

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:33

@Devilsmommy what about if they were a serial killer or a terrorist?

As I say, unless it involves children I wouldn't do anything. I'm not sending my son to be murdered unless it's extreme circumstances, anything involving children

YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfitt · 12/09/2025 17:10

The photos were that clear, along with his rookie error of wearing a distinctive tshirt it was only a matter of time before someone else turned him in. Someone else made a good point that in turning him in maybe the family have avoided a shoot out. Seems like dad is also in the sheriff dept.

A little part of my brain is wondering if dad will claim the reward money (I don’t think for one minute that was why he turned the son in), I certainly wouldn’t want the money but maybe it would help towards legal costs which are probably going to cripple them now.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 12/09/2025 17:11

It’s impossible to know. I don’t agree with the death penalty, but to me, the fact he didn’t turn the gun on himself, the fact the bullets were inscribed with ideological messages, to me, means he would likely kill again.

InterIgnis · 12/09/2025 17:11

Even if the father were conflicted, I doubt he would have felt he had much choice tbh. If the pastor recognized him, then others would have too. The way tensions are running high right now, he likely thought his son stood a better chance in custody than with an angry mob.

It may be that assassinating someone is where he draws the ‘parental love’ line. Or that someone old enough to plan and carry out an assassination is old enough to face the consequences of that. His son has shown himself to be a very real danger to those around him, very possibly including his family. Bear also in mind that innocent people were being identified as the shooter and doxxed online.

He also has the rest of his family to consider. Not reporting would in the best case scenario cost him his job (thus he would lose the means of supporting his family, and good luck with finding another job!), and at worst would see him facing charges himself. Despite the fact that he turned him in, there’s still going to be a massive stigma attached to the family that’s going to follow them through and shape their lives. Turning his son in will at least go some way in lessening the blowback the family would have faced had he not.

Hoppinggreen · 12/09/2025 17:11

bapples1 · 12/09/2025 16:44

@Hoppinggreen safest thing for them is a bit vague, what do you mean by that?

Do your sons know that if they raped or murdered someone you would cover it up?

I mean that like in the case being discussd here where the safest thing for the alleged gunman is to be in custody, and taken into custody calmly
I have never actually discussed with my 16 year old son what I would do if he raped and murdered someone, its never actually come up.

MyLimeGuide · 12/09/2025 17:12

KimberleyClark · 12/09/2025 16:39

I totally disagree with the death penalty but, and I hate to say this, at least this man is no longer poisoning young minds.

Are you for real? We all now know about him!!! He got his way! AND disgusting comment...

Hoppinggreen · 12/09/2025 17:12

Cherrytree86 · 12/09/2025 16:45

@Hoppinggreen

i bet in reality if it actually happened you would be so repulsed and horrified that you would turn them in.

Do you?
If that makes you more comfortable then carry on

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/09/2025 17:13

InMyShowgirlEra · 12/09/2025 17:09

Well, he said that if she got pregnant at 10 by rape he would force her to carry to pregnancy to term, so he's not a great loss as a father. I don't agree with the death penalty so that applies to him to, but I also think it's good he's dead. Horrible excuse for a human.

So we only care about murder when the victim is someone we liked and approved of. Wow.

Wildgoat · 12/09/2025 17:13

InMyShowgirlEra · 12/09/2025 17:09

Well, he said that if she got pregnant at 10 by rape he would force her to carry to pregnancy to term, so he's not a great loss as a father. I don't agree with the death penalty so that applies to him to, but I also think it's good he's dead. Horrible excuse for a human.

So anyone says something you don’t agree with you think it’s good if they are murdered. Is that really what you’re saying. So these guys disagree with you, as you hold opposing views. So you then think they should want you dead and be able to do that to you? We should all kill each other if we don’t like opinions?

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 12/09/2025 17:14

Floisme · 12/09/2025 16:49

No.

I was shocked by this murder and I despise the celebrations and whataboutery that have followed. But I remain totally opposed to the death penalty and, if this young man is found guilty, I would support clemency although I realise that this seems highly unlikely.

Even if I supported the death penalty, no I would not turn in my own child. Make of that what you will.

You are equating celebrating with not feeling bad that he is dead.

Someone dying or being murdered is awful. Separately this person made a living being an antagonist, anti women, anti black, anti abortion (to the point he insisted he would make his 10 year old carry a rapists baby.) He said empathy didn't exist, he didn't care how many died as long as people got to keep their guns.

None of what he said means he deserved to die. But the people he hated are allowed to not care or be happy about it. He spent his life not caring about them.

Someone dying or being murdered doesn't change who they were when they were alive.

IGaveSoManySigns · 12/09/2025 17:14

@KimberleyClarkhow can you say you disagree with the death penalty but agree with his killing?

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